So ,I have trouble with this one. What do you do when someone who hasnt seen you in a while pays you a compliment about your appearance, but they dont look so good themself?

I always feel the 'proper' response when someone says something nice is a 'you too' or 'so do you' and I think most people are expecting that response

but what if its not true? do you say it anyway? if you dont or if you pay a different type of compliment is that offensive?


I guess a simple 'thanx' is fine, but then they may be offended if there is no compliment in return,,,,


this isnt really an issue, Im just tired, and I was wondering...lol

Maybe you can compliment them on their kids or something else? I don't know.

Well if you imagine them looking worse in your mind ( picture something horrid) and then tell them that they look good.
After all, I figure that anyone who knew me years ago is thinking Wow, she is older, but of course they are going to say Wow you look good.

so, If I imagine that they are lying to me, I can lie to them easier?....lol

might work

When you say they dont look good, what do you mean? As in sick or let themselves go? That makes all the difference to any response.

either one

lets say, they look like lifes treated them hard,

tired, unfit, etc,,,,

I just thank them.

so, its like


"hey totage, you look GREAT, times been good to you'

'thank you,,,, have you been to the new restaurant yet?'


lol



that seems honest, but I just dont know how to tell if the other person was hoping for a compliment in kind and how an absence of such compliment makes them feel

Compliment them on their fashion style, make-up, hair or something?

I can pull that off,,,,good idea,,,

I love what youve done with your hair,,, thats a winner,,,

IDK, I'm not the one to go to if you need to hear what you want to hear just to make yourself feel good. I'll be honest with you and tell you the truth.

I don't give compliments just to be nice or because I expect anything back. I give them because it's honestly how I see things and I find it to be true. I expect the same from others.

If they were to be hurt or disappointed because they didn't get a compliment from me after they complimented me, they set theirself up for that one.

Well, I wont do fake compliments myself, I feel like I would be lying. If I cared about the person I would be gentle and ask them how they were doing. If the response was open I would invite them home for coffee so we could have a real talk.

Depends on how well you know them...

so they say "You look great"

You say, "Thanks, I'm really sorry that you don't look as good as me", and then invite them in for a cuppa.
Is that before or after they give you an uppa cut.

I am always shocked when I see an old friend, as I forget that I have gotten so much older and am shocked that they look old enough to be grandparents. So how do you say that nicely even though you are a grandparent.

"Oh my you look so much older, what ever happened to you. "

Nah think I will stick with the you look great. I dont care if people lie about how i look.

Like really , when I say I have 6 kids ,I like them to say "REally you dont look old enough. "i dont want them saying, "yeh I could tell , just look at you ""


Or If I say I am a grandparent, I like to hear, wow you still look great""
Not, ÿeh you don't look like you used to.

gosh my mirror tells me that every morning..

A nice little lie is just what I need at the start of every day

Lol. I just cant fake it, so I dont. I am the worlds worst liar.

Ok I am never going to ask you how i look.

If you want the truth, ask me?

Nope that is one thing i do not ever want complete honesty with.

Just thank them and either don't say anything or pick up on something you liked about them when they did look their best. How about that? It's nice thet you don't want to hurt their feelings.

DON'T SAY

"Thank you so much! What the h3ll happened to YOU?!?"