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| Topic: When somebody is going through a rough time do you let them | |
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I have always been told that when somebody is ill or going through a bad time ,that you can never go wrong by letting them know you care and will be there for them.
However it has been my experience lately that it isn't always true, that showing you care and reaching out can be misconstrued as something else. What are your thoughts on this? |
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I have always been told that when somebody is ill or going through a bad time ,that you can never go wrong by letting them know you care and will be there for them. However it has been my experience lately that it isn't always true, that showing you care and reaching out can be misconstrued as something else. What are your thoughts on this? I think some people, going thru a hard time, confuse their feelings. I think under normal circumstances, that people see it for what it is, but when things are hard or stressful, they pick up on things that aren't really there. |
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Hard question, let me have some hard thoughts on it and I'll post then.
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I have always been told that when somebody is ill or going through a bad time ,that you can never go wrong by letting them know you care and will be there for them. However it has been my experience lately that it isn't always true, that showing you care and reaching out can be misconstrued as something else. What are your thoughts on this? I think some people, going thru a hard time, confuse their feelings. I think under normal circumstances, that people see it for what it is, but when things are hard or stressful, they pick up on things that aren't really there. That makes sense .Something like when somebody dies there often is misplaced anger toward somebody else. |
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Hard question, let me have some hard thoughts on it and I'll post then. it is tough and know I really don't know what to do anymore.This happens to me more here than in real life. |
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Edited by
bhernandez
on
Fri 07/27/12 09:53 AM
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humans annoy me like crazy because they don't talk.
TELL ME WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND. i'm not a damn mind reader! i never know what to say or do. just tell me what you want and get all the bullcrap out of the way. obviously if i'm asking you about anything in your life it's because i care. i'm not one to ask rhetorical questions for amusement. oh wait. haha. unless it's on the interwebs. |
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humans annoy me like crazy because they don't talk. TELL ME WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND. i'm not a damn mind reader! i never know what to say or do. just tell me what you want and get all the bullcrap out of the way. obviously if i'm asking you about anything in your life it's because i care. i'm not one to ask rhetorical questions for amusement. oh wait. haha. unless it's on the interwebs.  Agreed. |
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humans annoy me like crazy because they don't talk. TELL ME WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND. i'm not a damn mind reader! i never know what to say or do. just tell me what you want and get all the bullcrap out of the way. obviously if i'm asking you about anything in your life it's because i care. i'm not one to ask rhetorical questions for amusement. oh wait. haha. unless it's on the interwebs.  Damm humans!!!!
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Damm humans!!!! right?! |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
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Fri 07/27/12 09:58 AM
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Personally I don't like whiners and complainers. Accept what is, identify the problem, handle it and get over it.
That's my philosophy. (and stop sniveling.)  |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
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Fri 07/27/12 10:00 AM
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I love the character of "the Mentalist."
He is focused on an objective, doesn't care what people think, and can't be bribed or intimidated. He just keeps after his objective. I like that. |
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If a person really is going through a rough time, my heart goes out to them and if I can help I will. But there are so many people who dramatize every little problem in their lives and suck sympathy out of everyone they meet, leaving them drained of energy.
They don't accept advice because they just want attention and sympathy, and they like to whine and complain. I've known people who behave like that on a daily basis. To them I say, accept it, deal with it, get over it, etc. |
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If a person really is going through a rough time, my heart goes out to them and if I can help I will. But there are so many people who dramatize every little problem in their lives and suck sympathy out of everyone they meet, leaving them drained of energy. They don't accept advice because they just want attention and sympathy, and they like to whine and complain. I've known people who behave like that on a daily basis. To them I say, accept it, deal with it, get over it, etc. Awww now I get what you are saying. No I am talking about people who really are hurting and are going for a tough time. Not the problem of the day type people. |
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As someone who is and recently slammed into the worst time in my life...
People can not fix the problem and most of the time there isn't a right action. It is nice when someone listens and sits...they don't have to offer a solution. Having them there is a huge bonus. Some people feel the need to tell you about their awful experience in the same category... People react different when this happens and I imagine it is the need to help the person in need. Sometimes...just have to be a friend and sit to listen. Thanks to my great friends here..you know who you are. |
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I have always been told that when somebody is ill or going through a bad time ,that you can never go wrong by letting them know you care and will be there for them. However it has been my experience lately that it isn't always true, that showing you care and reaching out can be misconstrued as something else. What are your thoughts on this? Hun, if your intent is pure, you simply cannot second-guess what the other's reaction might be. You have done your part. Their response is in their court. |
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As someone who is and recently slammed into the worst time in my life... People can not fix the problem and most of the time there isn't a right action. It is nice when someone listens and sits...they don't have to offer a solution. Having them there is a huge bonus. Some people feel the need to tell you about their awful experience in the same category... People react different when this happens and I imagine it is the need to help the person in need. Sometimes...just have to be a friend and sit to listen. Thanks to my great friends here..you know who you are. I am sorry for whatever it was you through.I hope things are better for you now.  |
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I have always been told that when somebody is ill or going through a bad time ,that you can never go wrong by letting them know you care and will be there for them. However it has been my experience lately that it isn't always true, that showing you care and reaching out can be misconstrued as something else. What are your thoughts on this? Hun, if your intent is pure, you simply cannot second-guess what the other's reaction might be. You have done your part. Their response is in their court. See thats what I mean.."if your intent was pure" It had no ulterior motives behind it at all.Just felt genuinely bad for the people I felt were in pain. This happened to me a few times with different people , where they read something into my reaching out to them in their time of need as something that it wasn't. I don't know maybe its the way I word things. I know what my heart feels though, and I feel sincere compassion for people. |
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If they make it clear that they want space, then I give them space. However, if I notice someone crying, or any other signs of distress, I find it pretty hard to ignore. Whether it's a human or an animal. I guess it's just in my nature to try to get them to talk to me about whatever is bothering them. I don't try to force it out of them though. I just try to be a good go-to person, really.
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If they make it clear that they want space, then I give them space. However, if I notice someone crying, or any other signs of distress, I find it pretty hard to ignore. Whether it's a human or an animal. I guess it's just in my nature to try to get them to talk to me about whatever is bothering them. I don't try to force it out of them though. I just try to be a good go-to person, really. All I wanted to do was let them know I felt their pain and would be there for them if they needed me. But, sometimes I can't help wondering if just not bothering to say anything is better. |
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If a person really is going through a rough time, my heart goes out to them and if I can help I will. But there are so many people who dramatize every little problem in their lives and suck sympathy out of everyone they meet, leaving them drained of energy. They don't accept advice because they just want attention and sympathy, and they like to whine and complain. I've known people who behave like that on a daily basis. To them I say, accept it, deal with it, get over it, etc. wow, i like this answer. i oughta kiss you on the mouth btw, it is too easy to go from being a helper to being an enabler |
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