I've noticed that lots of people on here seem to have trouble coming up with things to talk about. I get emails a lot (and I'm sure I'm not alone in this) from people wanting to chat. But, when I ask them what they'd like to chat about, they say they don't know and ask me to start a conversation. Unfortunately, most of the time these guys don't have much going on in their profiles.

When contacting someone new, do you try to start a conversation? Or do you just hope they'll respond and start up a conversation, because you're not sure what to talk about?

I know what you mean. I get messages that just say "hi." How do you respond? "Hi back"?

It happens in the real world too. I get women trying to start a conversation with me and they just seem lost and uncomfortable.

I craft a message to start a fun conversation.

If I write to someone, It is because either they said something in the forums that caught my eye, or something in their profile caught my eye, and I just felt the need to try to learn more. Thus I write with the intention of discussing it or at least finding out some more information. I don't think I could send a "hi" e-mail if you put a gun to my head.

Well, I don't contact anyone, though if I did,
chatting would not be an issue, and I would
never lack for anything about which to converse.
(I alone could make up for 6 people chatting :-)
So my comment is about those who cannot seem
to..chat.

Methinks that is how they are in the real world,
coming online does not change that.

It may give them more time to foment an answer
but an uninteresting person has only one way
out of this sitch..they must learn to be good
listeners, a mitigating factor.

Then hook up with a yakker, problem solved :-)

I know what you mean singmesweet, that happened to me too.
I have sent e-mails or instant messages but always because, as Kartagane, said, something caught my eye...

I have also received some mails just saying "hi" or "I want to be your friend" and I have to say I do not like it when the mails only say that.If there are no questions at all it definitely means they are not really into getting to know me... Once somebody asked me to chat and it was really boring, he said he was shy so he didn´t ask anything! after the 3rd question from my part I just got bored and I just told him "goodbye". of course we never chatted again, thanks gosh!!!

I usually start a conversation, I have no problems with that. I´m a very curious person so I tend to ask whatever crosses my mind at the moement.. (not personal questions of course!) I like learning so there´s always some question on my mind. Hopefully, the coversation will flow and I can get to learn something new

:)

Both lol

I express an interest and at least try to start a conversation. It's not always a smooth process, especially if they are shy. lol But, I think as long as you at least express interest and make an effort, you can make it work, or at least improve your skills as you do it more and more.

I've heard the shy excuse, too. If someone is so shy that they cannot think of anything to talk about online, I have no idea how they'll be able to handle meeting people in person.

Humm, myself I don't have a problem with coming up with something to say....

I get a lot of e-mails that just say hi....I answer hi back..If I e-mail them I always make sure I put one or two questions within the e-mail to give them something to go on..

All I can say if they can not come up with something to say in e-mails then they will not be able to in person most of the time..

But then some will just say hi and once that is out of the way they seem to be able to go from there..

But...more would get responses to their e-mails if they took the time and asked a question either about the persons profile or something about them that is not in the profile. At least then they would have something to go on.

I always try to end the email with a question. Good ones like - what sign are you? what age is your kid? Do you have any pets? If I initiate contact I will start with something I liked in their profile and mention it

Ya'll know me...I will say something overloaded with lewd innuendos and a little humor. They run or they don't.

I know what you guys mean, but in my case I think conversations are tough because I only speak Mandarin and have to translate everything said. As a child for some reason I didn't think English was going to make it. Now I realize being born and living in the US it was a mistake to not learn the appropriate language. Honestly it's even more difficult than I'm making it out to be. You see my Mandarin teacher was Amish and I've been informed by my friends in China that even they can not understand me.

I know I should be posting this in "why are you still single" but thought maybe I could find a sympathetic ear here.

Thank you for your kind replies in advance.

BTW, I want you all also to know that I got the spelling of sympathetic correct without using spell check. I think this is because so many women write me telling me I am pathetic and all I had to add was the sym.

I rarely contact people first. I have only ever contacted one man to pursue him. The other 6, to initiate friendship.People tend to email me.I have no problem keeping the conversation flowing. But if they are not that stimulating to me, I drift away....

.....personally have no problems chatting...I think I have a problem shutting up......