Are you a control freak? Or do you prefer your spouse to take the lead? There are no right or wrong answers here. You could even be somewhere in the middle.

I am not too much of a control freak, as a man it feels "natural" to me to take the lead with my spouse. But I don't argue about giving her great leeway either.


EDIT: btw, anybody wanna be a spouse?

Absolutely....

I am a 110% control freak.

Why wouldn't I be? Most people obey basic directions....they show obeisiance when you make them Kowtow.

Bark a few orders at em and watch them jump..

90% of people do.


most people are delicate jungle orchids who need everything to be just perfect to blossom....

I will ask....if it is in your control and you can help people who are too stupid to think for themselves...would you have the guts to think for them?


(none of this is personal....just trying to make a point about how easy dominance and control are...I tend to dominate....it is just how I am)

I had to be in total control of everything for too many years to give it up easily...

On the other hand, I'm a people pleaser. You may get your way more often than you imagine...just give me the information up front so I can organize it in my head and not have a nervous breakdown about the unknown. Really, is that too much to ask?

Spouse...meh!

I like order in my life. I keep everything organized and taken care of. I like to make plans, both short and long term. I take comfort in knowing I have a plan and sticking to it. The last thing I want is a force of chaos coming in and throwing a wrench in the works.

However, I don't try to control others. If they enhance my life I'm happy to have them around. But, if they become a liability, If they start getting in the way of my goals, I drop them like a bad habit.

I do not feel this makes me controlling because I don't make demands on others. They are free to live how they wish. But, some people may disagree.

The only real power we have is in the choices we make. But, that is a great power.

I am not a control freak, nor do I have a spouse. I wouldn't respond well if someone was demanding that I do everything he wants, though. Balance is important.

Personally I believe real leadership empowers others to think for themselves and it serves the best interests of others. It is called Servant Leadership. Its only interest in leading is because they saw human need and there is no gain except to empower

Wow! Powerful stuff that.

It all depends on what you are trying to control. To give up control can make you in control, depending what it is.

As has been said, I believe in balance. I am fully capable of taking the lead when it is necessary, and just as easily can relinquish it when I do not know what the hell I am doing. I look at things as an equal partnership, working together towards a mutual goal. I don't feel either side should ever feel they have some sort of power or control in some way over the other, because ideally you each bring your own strengths and weaknesses to the relationship and just as ideally should be helping each other, learn, grow and discover.

I'm a control freak in the sense that I don't like indecision...in myself or others so if 'he' doesn't take the lead. I'm quite happy to lead or follow.

Ahhhhhhhhhh Grasshopper......

real leadership......leads by example....with kindness, understanding and compassion.....

not by...........

control or dominance!!
JMO

Well grasshopper, that just goes without saying lol

That's what I try to bring to my staff when I'm in a management role. But hmmmm...perhaps I need to practice a little more "letting go" in my personal life.

My friends say I am, LOL. I think it has something to do with being a virgo, JK! It's just that when no one else seems to want to take charge, it's just easier for me to take control.

I prefer things to be handled, and I dont like to wait. A man that is on top of the tough choices and responsibilities is a keeper, but if they take TOO long,,Im gonna decide without them,,,

No. I like whoever I may be dating at the time to feel free. I also won't date a control freak. Sometimes you can tell within just five minutes of talking to someone. My mum married one. He beat her up, a lot. She isn't with him anymore now though. Thankgod :)

That is good to hear. Oftentimes that is where control ends up leading, and it is always surprising when people do not see the signs. I am glad she escaped from it.

I think both.
There are some things which I know I am good at and know about, so those I would rather control, but at the same time, I'm happy to listen and change what I want if it doesnt fit whatever is hapenning.

But there are a lot of things that frustrate me, expecially if it involves being organised, those i would rather my hubby take contol of.

I love starting things, but rarely finish anything, so having a man who is organised and ;ikes everything done properly works great..

I hate having to think to far ahead, without it's something fun, so tend to let everyone else pretty much organise me, as long as everyones calm and happy.