Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: Who is Making the First Move?
msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Fri 06/08/12 03:00 AM
I wont make the first move. If I really like someone I throw him hints. If he is too dense to pick it up, he isnt for me. If he isnt into me, thats cool too. same here, Im probably not going to be too attracted to the guy who didnt 'step up'

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Fri 06/08/12 11:59 PM
I wont make the first move. If I really like someone I throw him hints. If he is too dense to pick it up, he isnt for me. If he isnt into me, thats cool too. Isn't throwing a hint making a move?

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Sat 06/09/12 03:13 AM Edited by Ladywind7 on Sat 06/09/12 03:59 AM
Depends if they pick up on the hints. I am naturally an aggressor, But I dont want to miss out on the fun part called the chase. The intrigue and yearning feeds my poetic soul and the all that doparmine makes me write some good poetry.

Sunshine_in_Florida Joined Sun 04/29/12 Posts: 186	Sat 06/09/12 08:23 AM
Men have fear of rejection too, so a ladylike approach is a good thing, because, if we do nothing at all, then nothing is sure to happen. Standing still waiting for our significant other to knock on the door is ridiculous, you have to draw some sort of attention to yourself to be noticed or we are just like another wall flower. JMHO.....The art of flirting still can be utilized.

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Sat 06/09/12 01:46 PM
Lol. I have faith in a divine matchmaker. Your way is your way and my way is mine. You, tigress, will make some man extremely happy.

TexasScoundrel Joined Wed 10/29/08 Posts: 3693	Sat 06/09/12 04:42 PM
Men have fear of rejection too, so a ladylike approach is a good thing, because, if we do nothing at all, then nothing is sure to happen. Standing still waiting for our significant other to knock on the door is ridiculous, you have to draw some sort of attention to yourself to be noticed or we are just like another wall flower. JMHO.....The art of flirting still can be utilized. This is true. You don't have to fear rejection if you have something interesting to talk about. You cannot expect the other person to do all the work. You have to make it easy for them.

Mirage4279 Joined Sat 09/04/10 Posts: 2466	Sat 06/09/12 05:00 PM Edited by Mirage4279 on Sat 06/09/12 05:04 PM
Put it this way... When I was 16 I was getting checked out all the time...Even by older married women.... I think I could off possible gone somewhere with them right then and there had I just said something... This girl used to stare at me with "oh my god you are great!!!" written all over her face... \ and None of them and I mean not a single solitary one (except for on a seldom occasion ) ever said anything at all first... This might differ depending on whom you ask (guy that is)..because the guy would initiate engaging in the conversation first (before anything was said) and it was only natural to say something after that... But once in a blue moon did they say something first

Ladywind7 Joined Sun 04/08/12 Posts: 7833	Sat 06/09/12 05:20 PM
I hate to sound sleazy, but tease me. I dont want it if its that easy. Tupac.

jaded72 Joined Tue 12/06/11 Posts: 1456	Sat 06/09/12 05:58 PM
Hmmm. Well, things have changed over the years. I used to be incredibly shy, so never made any "moves". And I was HORRIBLE at picking up flirting signals. Dumb as a post, actually. I've developed my assertive side, so I think it should be a two-way street.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 06/09/12 06:18 PM
I wont make the first move. If I really like someone I throw him hints. If he is too dense to pick it up, he isnt for me. If he isnt into me, thats cool too. I don't get this way of thinking at all. Why wait around? Maybe he's thinking the same way you are and you'll both miss out.

Sunshine_in_Florida Joined Sun 04/29/12 Posts: 186	Sat 06/09/12 08:01 PM
How do you handle a hit on here if someone is sending you a nudge? Do you nudge back or email? If you get an email when do you decide to take the next step and talk on the phone? Do you feel the asking for the phone number is too assertive, I mean, emails only go so far and I feel I want to hear the voice inflections and tone. I get tired of lengthy email after a few weeks.

Mirage4279 Joined Sat 09/04/10 Posts: 2466	Sat 06/09/12 08:19 PM
I would suggest emailing back... practice???

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Sat 06/09/12 08:27 PM
How do you handle a hit on here if someone is sending you a nudge? Do you nudge back or email? If you get an email when do you decide to take the next step and talk on the phone? Do you feel the asking for the phone number is too assertive, I mean, emails only go so far and I feel I want to hear the voice inflections and tone. I get tired of lengthy email after a few weeks. I don't bother with nudges. If I want to chat with someone, I send them an email. I expect anyone wanting to chat with me to do the same. As for talking on the phone, only you and the other person can decide when is best for that to happen. Whenever you both feel comfortable.

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Sat 06/09/12 11:15 PM
We arm wrestle for it.

mg1959 Joined Thu 04/05/07 Posts: 7872	Sat 06/09/12 11:39 PM
Have you ever put too much peanut butter on the bread and try to balance it with more jelly? Now you can't taste the bread. Relationships have a flow to them and when it is time to ask it should be done. Missing the moment is just that and it takes two to make that moment. Many people miss their chance because they don't know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Sun 06/10/12 12:22 AM Edited by wux on Sun 06/10/12 12:23 AM
Men have fear of rejection too, so a ladylike approach is a good thing, because, if we do nothing at all, then nothing is sure to happen. Standing still waiting for our significant other to knock on the door is ridiculous, you have to draw some sort of attention to yourself to be noticed or we are just like another wall flower. JMHO.....The art of flirting still can be utilized. Hitting on a woman who is standing still is exactly like shooting a bunch of fish that are in a barrel together. Or like playing the horses and six horses are withdrawn before they can take bets on that race. Or like declaring war on the world and you are the only superpower with no brains and lots and lots of guns, ammunition, effective body-armour, citizens who are dying to kill anyone who moves, and a big, but a really big, nuclear arsenal.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Sun 06/10/12 12:38 AM
Have you ever put too much peanut butter on the bread and try to balance it with more jelly? Now you can't taste the bread. Many women have a flow to them and when it is time to let the flood gates open, then it should be done. Missing a movement is just that--- don't try to read anything into it, like into tea leaves or goat inyards (ancient Romans used goat inyards to tell the future). Many people miss their chances because they forgot to buy a ticket or do not check them until over a year after the date of the draw. Don't know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Must buy a Dummies book on that.

wux Joined Wed 07/29/09 Posts: 7426	Sun 06/10/12 12:44 AM Edited by wux on Sun 06/10/12 12:46 AM
I wont make the first move. If I really like someone I throw him hints. If he is too dense to pick it up, he isnt for me. If he isnt into me, thats cool too. This is how I read it: Everybody has to make the first move. Sometime soon after being born. If I really like someone I throw her over the fence, and if she likes me, she will jump right back in. If she is too dense to be picked up, she isnt for me. If he can't get into her, due to differences in sizes, that's too cool for her. I mean, none of her gf-s is going to laugh at her for finding a guy like that. Women are more impressed by size than men.

Sunshine_in_Florida Joined Sun 04/29/12 Posts: 186	Sun 06/10/12 07:28 AM
Have you ever put too much peanut butter on the bread and try to balance it with more jelly? Now you can't taste the bread. Relationships have a flow to them and when it is time to ask it should be done. Missing the moment is just that and it takes two to make that moment. Many people miss their chance because they don't know how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. mg1959, I have made my sandwiches exactly like that, they become very rich in taste and gooey, dripping down my chin, and brings back wonderful memories........

TammyA Joined Sat 03/10/12 Posts: 300	Sun 06/10/12 07:37 AM
Here is a message I received today. "I usually wait for the lady to make the first move, but I saw we have many things in common." There was more, but I have heard the same from lady friends. So if nobody makes the first move, then we are all SOL. It woke me up to the fact that maybe there are many of us thinking the same? I know in my age group, men made the first move, always, or you were considered a promiscuous lady, now this is a GUY telling me, HE waits for the lady to approach! SO, I say, ladies, get off your keister and start searching and sending out those nudges! Out of a hundred nudges, you are bound to get one back. I don't limit distance either, I am willing to relocate and have seen it happen with others. I am grabbing the brass ring and taking the chance, it just might work. To do nothing, then for sure, "nothing" will happen. I'm about the same as that guy. It's not real often that I send out first messages, so if anybody wants a shot at me they gotta come get me. I'm not so sure about sending out nudges. %99 of the time I ignore the nudges that I get. If somebody can't take a couple minutes and actually send a message, I'm not going to waste my time with somebody who can't even start a conversation. I get nudges, I nudge back, thinking this guy will then initiate communication, but more times than not, nothing more happens.