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| Topic: Am I being silly? | |
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How old is too old?
I'd like to have kids soon as I am 25 years old. Honestly my reasoning may seem odd but I guess I just dont want to wait too much longer because I dont want to be 45 yars old chasing a 2 year old. I also dont want to be 60 by the time my child graduates. Aside from all that I know that it is also a lot moer dangerous to have children (actually carrying the child) as you get older. The opposing arguement was to stay in shape and it wont matter how old you are when you have kids. I dont believe that that is all true. I wonder if i'm just being silly....but it really does bother me a lot. I want children..... -sigh |
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As you can see my mind is already going...because I'm 26...not 25. ha...ha.
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you're absolutely right! Having old parents is not nice for youngsters. You can call me 'papa' :)
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I want to have a few child free years with a significant other before settling in and having kids. I want to have some fun with someone before having a ball and chain on my ankle for the next 18 or more years! Too many people jump in too soon and then the changes crush them. Better to prepare rather than go headlong into any long term commitment like that. How many people have complained having children wrecked their lives? More than a lot of people would like to admit. Some people just cannot handle the responsibility.
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How old is too old? I'd like to have kids soon as I am 25 years old. Honestly my reasoning may seem odd but I guess I just dont want to wait too much longer because I dont want to be 45 yars old chasing a 2 year old. I also dont want to be 60 by the time my child graduates. Aside from all that I know that it is also a lot moer dangerous to have children (actually carrying the child) as you get older. The opposing arguement was to stay in shape and it wont matter how old you are when you have kids. I dont believe that that is all true. I wonder if i'm just being silly....but it really does bother me a lot. I want children..... -sigh I think its best for kids to have a solid foundation with parents who can love AND support them. Some have reached that level by 25, others have not. ID think the ability to provide love and support and a solid foundation are more important than age....personally. |
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I feel that I can provide and most certainly love my child without a doubt. I have been raising children since I was a teenager so it wouldnt be a situation that I am totally unfamiliar with. I dont think its just about age for me...I truly want one of my own. Idk..
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I had my first child at 21 and my last at 32,
Although both pregnancies where the same both easy. My level of tiredness after was different, It was harder to recover from the long nights, although he was a much better baby then the earlier ones. Or I new what I was doing . Not sure which. My eldest daughter is now 22 and one of my best friends, we still do so many things together, But regardless of age, make sure you are settled and happy first. Bringing up a child or children is not easy, it's basicaaly giving up what you want until they are older. 
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How old is too old? I'd like to have kids soon as I am 25 years old. Honestly my reasoning may seem odd but I guess I just dont want to wait too much longer because I dont want to be 45 yars old chasing a 2 year old. I also dont want to be 60 by the time my child graduates. Aside from all that I know that it is also a lot moer dangerous to have children (actually carrying the child) as you get older. The opposing arguement was to stay in shape and it wont matter how old you are when you have kids. I dont believe that that is all true. I wonder if i'm just being silly....but it really does bother me a lot. I want children..... -sigh Nothing wrong with wanting children while you're still young. The more important thing is to have children when you're in a healthy relationship and both parents can properly care for the children, providing them with the best possible environment. This can be done at any age really. Don't settle for the wrong person, just because you want something badly. You know what I mean? I'm going to be turning 27, and I don't have kids of my own. I'm not worried about though. I've been raising my nephew like my own, that's good enough fort me right now. Hell, I was planning on having my own thriving business, my own home, wife and kids, and all by this time. I have my own business, but it's nowhere near where it should be. I'm nowhere near ready to own my own home, or have a family or anything. |
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Well I'm 29, and i'm the fatherly type, are you the motherly type?
And let me tell you, I am really upset that I have not had any children to father yet. And every year it gets worse. If you feel you are ready for children, then don't delay. Honestly, when you're ready, then you're ready. I hope your happy parenting days come soon. |
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I'm a parent of 2 beautifull girls, age 10 and 8. I'm 49. It has nothing to do with how old you are, it has everything to do with whether or not you and your partner are mature and secure enough to provide a stable, loving environment for your children. I understand that there is a "window of opportunity", so to speak, for a womans ability to give a birth, but, a person should have children because they are ready for the sacrifice and responsibility, not because the clock is ticking down.
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Edited by
AndyBgood
on
Sun 04/29/12 03:39 PM
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hey, I swore my children will never know the poverty I grew up in! And I mean it. But likewise i have yet to meet a woman who really gets me I guess. I want a family that will not fall apart to divorce, infidelity, financial strain. But conversely I am not having the role of sole breadwinner dumped on me either. Life these days is nothing like what mommy, daddy, and TV tried to teach me!
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I'm also worried about other things too though...as far as actually carrying the child it is more difficult for a woman as she gets older. I also agree with Josie...I want to be able to connect well with my children and sometimes (SOMETIMES) age difference prevents that. Perhaps I am being silly...or maybe i'm just going through my "woman crisis thing" i just know that at this point i want children, i almost feel a void in my heart right now. Meh.
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I had my first child at 21 and my last at 33. I had no more difficulty carrying the last one than I did the first. The struggle was raising them on my own after divorce. It's been tough being a single parent. So the main thing is making sure you are able to provide for your child/children.
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I'm also worried about other things too though...as far as actually carrying the child it is more difficult for a woman as she gets older. I also agree with Josie...I want to be able to connect well with my children and sometimes (SOMETIMES) age difference prevents that. Perhaps I am being silly...or maybe i'm just going through my "woman crisis thing" i just know that at this point i want children, i almost feel a void in my heart right now. Meh. Besides my husband, I have 2 best friends. My Mum, who is 16 years older than me and my daughter. It's a great way to be. But still don't rush, you have to be able to provide a stable home, whether it has one parent or two. |
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I'm also worried about other things too though...as far as actually carrying the child it is more difficult for a woman as she gets older. I also agree with Josie...I want to be able to connect well with my children and sometimes (SOMETIMES) age difference prevents that. Perhaps I am being silly...or maybe i'm just going through my "woman crisis thing" i just know that at this point i want children, i almost feel a void in my heart right now. Meh. I think (I don't quite remember) I read a doctor article where women as old as 40 were okay, or even older if in good shape but doctors didn't like it. The chances of an autistic child goes up with the mother's age, however. Let me go find that chart and I'll put a link up. http://www.enotalone.com/health/21136.html No chart, but a study. Note that a younger woman only has a 1 in 150 chance of autistic child. |
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Sometimes HORMONES have a lot to answer for. Though it may not be that. Just saying.
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Edited by
be_urself10
on
Mon 04/30/12 10:50 PM
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I had my little boy at 25 . Taking care of a kid is a lot of work . It helps if you're surrounded by people who are actually willing to assist you with that .
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I picked the engineer husband and owning a small zoo over children. My ex did NOT want children EVER. So I took the road less traveled. By the time I was single again, I was 39. I felt it was too late to have kids and then god for sure took away that option with a full hysterectomy. I enjoy boyfriends and friend friends who have grandkids. Helping pick out gifts and such. But I took care of my nephew every day at 11 years old (me) for a year and half after school. I baby sate my brains out. I taught at a summer camp of all boys. I had a good grip on what it takes to take care of a child and I never dissuaded myself into thinking I was "made of the right stuff". I raised a small zoo instead and gardened my brains out to fulfill my nurturing needs driven by hormones. I have had a pet almost everything.
Someone said that you need a solid foundation for kids. OH HECK YES. I say there is nothing sadder than an unwanted child and nothing cooler than one that is dreamed about and becomes a reality. I knew girls (women do not pull this) who tricked guys into having babies. NOT my thing. That never works out. It's cruel to the guy and the child. I knew my ex did NOT want a child. He would have dealt with it if I had one. But he did not WANT one. I think mutual WANT and dedication is the most important thing. When I had my hysterectomy last year, I had never had a single pregnancy. I realized that one day and was so proud of that. I felt like it was an accomplishment that I had achieved. I do not believe in abortion as a personal choice for MYSELF and I did not want a child. I felt like HOT DARN, I did it I made it to the end of the game without every getting preggers. I really did feel like I had graduated from uterus university with a 4.0. |
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I picked the engineer husband and owning a small zoo over children. My ex did NOT want children EVER. So I took the road less traveled. By the time I was single again, I was 39. I felt it was too late to have kids and then god for sure took away that option with a full hysterectomy. I enjoy boyfriends and friend friends who have grandkids. Helping pick out gifts and such. But I took care of my nephew every day at 11 years old (me) for a year and half after school. I baby sate my brains out. I taught at a summer camp of all boys. I had a good grip on what it takes to take care of a child and I never dissuaded myself into thinking I was "made of the right stuff". I raised a small zoo instead and gardened my brains out to fulfill my nurturing needs driven by hormones. I have had a pet almost everything. Someone said that you need a solid foundation for kids. OH HECK YES. I say there is nothing sadder than an unwanted child and nothing cooler than one that is dreamed about and becomes a reality. I knew girls (women do not pull this) who tricked guys into having babies. NOT my thing. That never works out. It's cruel to the guy and the child. I knew my ex did NOT want a child. He would have dealt with it if I had one. But he did not WANT one. I think mutual WANT and dedication is the most important thing. When I had my hysterectomy last year, I had never had a single pregnancy. I realized that one day and was so proud of that. I felt like it was an accomplishment that I had achieved. I do not believe in abortion as a personal choice for MYSELF and I did not want a child. I felt like HOT DARN, I did it I made it to the end of the game without every getting preggers. I really did feel like I had graduated from uterus university with a 4.0.  That is pretty awesome..I think my feelings have been intense lately simply because i have been super emotional (bleh..stupid estrogen) I would never trick my man into having kids though, in some cases men automatically THINK that you tricked them when thats anything but true so sometimes its a no win situation but i wouldnt do that to him. I guess it'll happen when it's suppose to, in the meantime still trying to figure out ways to curb these feelings. -sigh |
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Well, instead of curbing the feelings, you could get out there and some research. Read about parenting, take a course on budgeting and financial management, etc., so that when the opportunity arises, you are MORE than ready. Starting to learn about newborns when you already have one is not the way to go (mostly because you will be too sleep deprived to retain anything...)! Plan ahead.
I had my first one at 32. That was the right time for me. I really want to have more, but health situations are against me, so I will shower my existing child with the love and care he deserves, and not spend my energy wishing for the one that never was. People who WANT to have children, and who are prepared to do what's necessary to raise healthy, happy, productive members of society are a gift to us all - it sounds like you are one of those people. And since you know that about yourself, you can work with it. 
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