so, if you cheat, and your partner is oblivious to it and happy with you,,,,

should you come clean for honesty sake, or leave well enough alone?

do you think the answer is the same for males and females?

I only ask because I watched something earlier where the couple actually thought it would be best not to tell each other because of the 'unnecessary' pain it would cause,,,

I could never cheat in the first place, and I think I would want to know the truth and deal with it if my partner had (it would be the absolute worst to find from someone else first), but I wondered how others feel about it,,,

being open,sober and genuinely repentant is the secret to healing all wounds!

To be together in my book is to be able to share all. I can only be with another if they are willing to treat us as one. Not that we have to be alike, do everything together or view things the same way. Basically if I can't feel complete with them, knowing they have my back in all things, I don't want to be with them at all.

reasonable

howdy Sis

Well, I can't imagine cheating.
So I would have to make it all up.

I would have to tel...lying is too time consuming and emotionally draining for me to be arsed really.

I am hopeless with secrets.

But if someone cheated on me, I couldn't move past it.

Yep I could forgive and be friends, but anything else would be destroyed, regardless of why or if he was sorry.
I wouldn't trust him anymore and without that I wouldn't wan't to try.
For me, one lie and I would be off running.
It's all or nothing, no inbetweens.