Topic: Unsolicited Advice
no photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:26 AM
Some people love to offer advice even if they aren't asked for it. No one says you have to take it, though. And if it bothers you that much, let them know you just wanted them to listen?

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Fri 02/24/12 08:28 AM


Why is that when you are talking to someone and just need someone to listen they offer you advice on how to make things better? I do not need strangers advice. If I want advice I will ask for it and unless I do SHUT-UP!


My first thought was why are you venting to strangers in the first place? Giving advice to somebody who comes to you with an obvious problem is just a natural reaction. I think I'd wonder why somebody would come to me in the first place like that if they DIDN'T wan't advice. Sounds to me more like you want somebody to talk AT, not talk TO. In that case, I recommend getting a dog. They're good for that. Cats.......... not so much.


Isn't that what happens on this site often? Venting to strangers?

I often make posts here that aren't asking for advice, but people assume I am asking for advice. So, I can see where the OP is coming from.

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Fri 02/24/12 08:32 AM


Doesn't anybody know how to have a conversation without giving advice? Most of you have completely missed the point.


You mean soliloquy or monologue, not conversation. Prolly just as many folks not interested in sitting for a monologue as folks wantin to give this advice you speak of.


I don't agree here, either. ANd I don't believe that people cannot have a conversation without giving advice.

soufiehere's photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:33 AM


Why is that when you are talking to someone
and just need someone to listen they offer
you advice on how to make things better?
I do not need strangers advice. If I want
advice I will ask for it and unless
I do SHUT-UP!

I don't know...
Are you asking for advice here???

Exactly.
Listening to advice/opinions can be enlightening.
Talking to a yakking stump, not so much.

no photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:35 AM
I don't mind if people feel they need to offer advice. What bugs me is when they get mad if their advice is not taken, especially when it wasn't asked for.

Ruth34611's photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:41 AM
Email me. I have all kinds of folks always emailing me about what's bothering them and I have no idea why. I guess I'm just a good listener?

And, since I don't know any good advice....I won't give you any.

justme659's photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:47 AM

Doesn't anybody know how to have a conversation without giving advice? Most of you have completely missed the point.


This is my opinion you do not have to take it.

Part of being in a conversation is the...give and take... of the words that flow between the two having the conversation. If you do not want to have that, stop telling people stuff you don't want them to converse back about.


no photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:48 AM


Why is that when you are talking to someone and just need someone to listen they offer you advice on how to make things better? I do not need strangers advice. If I want advice I will ask for it and unless I do SHUT-UP!



I don't know...


Are you asking for advice here???






laugh Perfect reply!!flowerforyou Perhaps the OP's problem stems from his own inability to communicate effectively....:tongue:

patsfan64's photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:50 AM

Why is that when you are talking to someone and just need someone to listen they offer you advice on how to make things better? I do not need strangers advice. If I want advice I will ask for it and unless I do SHUT-UP!


Well, since you asked, my advise to you is to buy yourself a volley ball but make sure it's a Wilson! That's very important. Then fashion some sort of pineapple type hairdo on it and a bloody hand print for a face.

No thanks necessary, ask my advice anytime you'd like. I'm here to help and make fun of people.

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Fri 02/24/12 08:56 AM
Ohh weeee((((Jerm))))..I popped in for a moment again..good thing Im wearing my TALL harley boots today:wink: laugh flowers

no photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:56 AM


Why is that when you are talking to someone and just need someone to listen they offer you advice on how to make things better? I do not need strangers advice. If I want advice I will ask for it and unless I do SHUT-UP!


Well, since you asked, my advise to you is to buy yourself a volley ball but make sure it's a Wilson! That's very important. Then fashion some sort of pineapple type hairdo on it and a bloody hand print for a face.

No thanks necessary, ask my advice anytime you'd like. I'm here to help and make fun of people.


laugh Made me think of the Tom Hanks movie "Cast Away"...Remember, he was stranded on an island, all alone, no one to talk to...Soooooooooooo, he made a head and named it Mr. Wilson...of course when the two of them were chatting, Hanks had to play both parts!!!laugh laugh Made for perfect conversation!!bigsmile

Sneaksintoyourheart's photo
Fri 02/24/12 08:58 AM
just thought i say i had advice but forgot what it was cause i said wasn't gonna be around for a few days oh im still not here so my advice wont matter any ways :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

no photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:03 AM
Goodness, people get huffy when someone mentions they don't want advice. Look at all the people placing the blame on the OP!

msharmony's photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:08 AM

Why is that when you are talking to someone and just need someone to listen they offer you advice on how to make things better? I do not need strangers advice. If I want advice I will ask for it and unless I do SHUT-UP!




everyone is different and most people cant read minds

whereas you dont want feedback, someone else may be wanting exactly that


its best to speak what you want instead of expecting people to guess,


a simple lead in of 'Im not looking for any advice, I just need to vent' would solve that problem

luv2roknroll's photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:09 AM



Isn't that what happens on this site often? Venting to strangers?

I often make posts here that aren't asking for advice, but people assume I am asking for advice. So, I can see where the OP is coming from.
That is very true. I do that sometimes also.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:13 AM
Oh it depends on who you're talking to. My Grandpa is a great listener. Guess its that southern Texas thing he's used to. I find it maybe better the less they talk (depending on if you are actually going to vent) the better. Someone people have tons of words to say but nothing actually to say. I would just tell them upfront, "hey dude, I just wanna get something off my chest here" its pretty likely they will sit back and give you their full attention. I like it when people are honest before they talk. Clears up a lot of confusion and misunderstanding later. And no one is more misunderstood than I. bigsmile

patsfan64's photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:16 AM

Goodness, people get huffy when someone mentions they don't want advice. Look at all the people placing the blame on the OP!


Goodness gracious, someone gets all huffy when we blame the OP for venting in an open forum and NOT expecting someone to give their advice.

msharmony's photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:20 AM
laugh


Why is that when you are talking to someone and just need someone to listen they offer you advice on how to make things better? I do not need strangers advice. If I want advice I will ask for it and unless I do SHUT-UP!



I don't know...


Are you asking for advice here???






laugh laugh laugh


Peter, you are one of the most hilarious people I have ever read,,,,and often brilliant to boot,,,

msharmony's photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:23 AM
on a sidebar:

my mom used to say,,"If I just wanted someone to be in agreement with me, Id talk to a mirror"


AND


I always thought unsolicited advice referred to people volunteering advice that was IN NO WAY prompted by request or conversation, like when trying to do something and someone is leaning over your shoulder explaining what THEY would do,,,or how THEY would do it,,,,

Shy_Emo_chick's photo
Fri 02/24/12 09:29 AM
Advice? I wouldn't know what that was if it kicked me in the face. :O