Why is that when you are talking to someone and just need someone to listen they offer you advice on how to make things better? I do not need strangers advice. If I want advice I will ask for it and unless I do SHUT-UP!

so that means you want to do all the talking and the other person can't say anything?

......!......

You missed the point I'm not saying people can't talk I just don't want or need their advice.

They are trying to help.

If you don't want advice, preface your statement with "I just need someone to vent to. Can you listen to me?"

OK I just would be too uncomfortable to talk to you at all knowing that you have that level of negativity if I were to say the wrong thing - so others might feel the same way

One of the best human traits is the desire to help one another. Someone wise once said "never attribute to malice what is more easily explained by laziness or ignorance".

People don't give advice because they hate you and think you need to be taught how to handle these things. They do it because they think you are asking for their help.

Have you tried starting the conversation with "Hey, would you mind if I just vented for a bit? I don't really want you to help me solve a problem, I just want to blow off some steam; maybe this has happened to you, too"?

I'm not a negative person at all? How is it negative to believe in yourself so much to not want or need others advice unless you ask for it?

Gag 'em.

My first thought was why are you venting to strangers in the first place? Giving advice to somebody who comes to you with an obvious problem is just a natural reaction. I think I'd wonder why somebody would come to me in the first place like that if they DIDN'T wan't advice. Sounds to me more like you want somebody to talk AT, not talk TO. In that case, I recommend getting a dog. They're good for that. Cats.......... not so much.

Doesn't anybody know how to have a conversation without giving advice? Most of you have completely missed the point.

might as well

there seems to be a total lack of empathy for my POV - might as well gag me

I don't know how to say what I have already said to the OP - his attitude makes me not want to talk to him

I am not a big advice giver - I almost never do that unless asked but I prolly wouldn't talk to him anyway because of that attitude - it seems so black & white

like if I'm talking to you who says you get to make all the conversation rules?

I have been just sitting back..reading.....smokin my cigg kinda laughin my azz off..*snickers* ((Jerm))

Sounds like you must be in control at all times and when someone "misses" your point it bugs you. My advice to you is listen to what people have to say...You are NEVER to young or old to find out something about yourself that you can work on. Life is about some change, being stuck on stupid never looks good on anyone.

That's interesting... Did you happen to catch the local sports team last night?

You, my dear sir, are fortunate, for inside of this date site I have created, "Luv2roknrolls Biotch Club", and it can be found in the "Coffee Houses and Chit Chat" Section.

I created this thread ESPECIALLY for what your looking for. A place to just "let it all hang out", "vent', just biotch about whatever, in general.

Feel free to come there at any time, and release all of your pent up frustration, or whatever is bothering you, and I guarentee you, as Queen of the Biotchy Club/Kingdom, I give no one biotchy advise in there.

If you want that, you have to go to the "Dearluv2roknrollby", thread, also in the "Coffee Houses and Chit Chat Section.(I think I should also be refered to as the Queen of the Coffee Houses too).

Yeah, I have wayyyyyyy too much free times on my hands, at the moment. And yeah, I spend most of it here.

Getting advice you don't want or think you need is annoying.

But so are people who think they are entitiled to chroniclly vent; which I kind of see as permission to throw a verbal tantrum toward someone innocent. It is obnoxious at best and abusive at worst.

My personal opinion is if one finds themself freqently needing to "vent" about someone you either don't have the internal fortitude to speak up to or can't because they have some other incentive to keep you silenr, such as houseing, employmentt, or companionship, then stop whining and find another way to meet your needs.

I don't know who said it but there is something that goes " the best advice is usually the one you least want to hear".

Nothing wrong with confidence or running your own life but if you keep finding people trying to check your behavior then maybe you want to really think on why?

I think that maybe you’re talking to the wrong type of people because not everyone’s a listener, it’s a skill.

It is difficult to listen to someone talking when you can see an answer to possibly resolve an issue or offer some guidance based on a similar experience. Maybe you’re choosing the wrong people to talk at.

I also agree with this...



And this...

I don't know...


Are you asking for advice here???

Just caught myself trying to offer you advice (again) and stopped