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| Topic: Guys have it tough... | |
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 telling myself to keep this clean...... I could do that. Maybe I'll read some of your other posts first to help me decide how big to make it. I caution you. To go back and look at some of my posts could be hazardous to your health.    I see what you mean! Thanks for trying to warn me. Well, I wouldn't want to give off a false impression and all.
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telling myself to keep this clean...... I could do that. Maybe I'll read some of your other posts first to help me decide how big to make it. I caution you. To go back and look at some of my posts could be hazardous to your health. Oh Goof; you are such a ladies man.  I'm all pimp!  So, can we call you the Mingles pimp? Only when you mean it.
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What is it with men and their balls???? My boobs are nicer!
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I'm a dude, and I disagree that guys have it tough. I say this simply because men can do the exact same thing to women. But let's not go into the woman side of this. Let's look at this theory you have. Be warned.....Goof is about to rant. Nothing wrong with being nice. Nothing wrong with treating women with respect, dignity, and with care. However, what is wrong is when a dude doesn't have a backbone. I'm not talking like he is part of the "smack-a-ho" tribe. I'm talking about when a dude doesn't "man up". Fact is, women want men to be....well....phucking men. Not saying they want us guys to be macho all the time. Not saying dudes have to protect their lady, try to fix them, and all that other crap. I'm talking about women want a man to be confident. If he is a geek, then be the most freaking confident geek alive. Know who you are, and you'd be amazed at the panties that fall before you. Don't go around with this, "Ohhhhhh.....gee wilikers.....will she get mad that I spent money on this clasiic Tonka toy without consulting her"? Dude....nut up. You want it, tell her so. Break it down and have her respect you. Look, guys are their own worst enemy. We over think crap all the time. We worry when we are trying to get the girl cause we don't want her with another. We worry when we have her and we don't want another dude to come around and steal her. Hey fellas. Guess what? You show your woman love, respect, confidence, communication...etc....and your chick ain't gonna look to another man. Why? Cause she knows she has a great guy. When you doubt things, trust me...chicks pick up on it. I have been guilty of doing this in the past, so I know what I am talking about. When you like a woman...and I mean really, really like her...then you need to show it. You need to let her know that she is the only girl. Cause if she knows that, then you don't have to worry about silly games. Goof out. And be kind and rewind. ...nice world you come from. I only speak what I feel is true man. But yes...my world is nice, and pretty. Lol. |
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I'm a dude, and I disagree that guys have it tough. I say this simply because men can do the exact same thing to women. But let's not go into the woman side of this. Let's look at this theory you have. Be warned.....Goof is about to rant. Nothing wrong with being nice. Nothing wrong with treating women with respect, dignity, and with care. However, what is wrong is when a dude doesn't have a backbone. I'm not talking like he is part of the "smack-a-ho" tribe. I'm talking about when a dude doesn't "man up". Fact is, women want men to be....well....phucking men. Not saying they want us guys to be macho all the time. Not saying dudes have to protect their lady, try to fix them, and all that other crap. I'm talking about women want a man to be confident. If he is a geek, then be the most freaking confident geek alive. Know who you are, and you'd be amazed at the panties that fall before you. Don't go around with this, "Ohhhhhh.....gee wilikers.....will she get mad that I spent money on this clasiic Tonka toy without consulting her"? Dude....nut up. You want it, tell her so. Break it down and have her respect you. Look, guys are their own worst enemy. We over think crap all the time. We worry when we are trying to get the girl cause we don't want her with another. We worry when we have her and we don't want another dude to come around and steal her. Hey fellas. Guess what? You show your woman love, respect, confidence, communication...etc....and your chick ain't gonna look to another man. Why? Cause she knows she has a great guy. When you doubt things, trust me...chicks pick up on it. I have been guilty of doing this in the past, so I know what I am talking about. When you like a woman...and I mean really, really like her...then you need to show it. You need to let her know that she is the only girl. Cause if she knows that, then you don't have to worry about silly games. Goof out. And be kind and rewind. ...nice world you come from. I only speak what I feel is true man. But yes...my world is nice, and pretty. Lol. Guys have a natural 'bounce back up' that most girls lack. They cling to thoughts, memories, and pain far longer than the average guy. Some guys may look at the next chick and never give them a full out chance; girls do the same, and even take it a step further. I showed my ex each and everyday what she meant to me.. Little things, big things.. Took her everywhere. Never shy in showing my affection in public. Yet each day. I was judged as if I was the last guy. That I was out man-whoring it up when she wasn't looking. Even if I had the desire to do that.. ..it wasn't even possible. I had no car. Rarely went anywhere with out her outside of work. Barely associated with my friends... Every time she'd tick me off... "Oh, what you gonna hit me now? Just like he used to!" While your words may be true some of the time.. Your 'knowledge' lacks the ability to be used 'all of the time'. I'm not using any of my exes or that situation against any new situation.. However, I am always starting so low on the food chain.. Because the only thing that makes me better then the exes.. ..she's waiting for me to BE like they were.. Not hoping I WON'T be like them. A girl finds out she was cheated on when her man goes out to play pool. You come in and take over. You go out and play pool. You've been judged. Whether she says it or not. You're not just competing with 10.6 other million guys.. ..but also the 10-20-30 she's already been with. To think this isn't the case.. Is naive. Guys do it too, don't get me wrong. Girls just make it into a science.. |
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I'm a dude, and I disagree that guys have it tough. I say this simply because men can do the exact same thing to women. But let's not go into the woman side of this. Let's look at this theory you have. Be warned.....Goof is about to rant. Nothing wrong with being nice. Nothing wrong with treating women with respect, dignity, and with care. However, what is wrong is when a dude doesn't have a backbone. I'm not talking like he is part of the "smack-a-ho" tribe. I'm talking about when a dude doesn't "man up". Fact is, women want men to be....well....phucking men. Not saying they want us guys to be macho all the time. Not saying dudes have to protect their lady, try to fix them, and all that other crap. I'm talking about women want a man to be confident. If he is a geek, then be the most freaking confident geek alive. Know who you are, and you'd be amazed at the panties that fall before you. Don't go around with this, "Ohhhhhh.....gee wilikers.....will she get mad that I spent money on this clasiic Tonka toy without consulting her"? Dude....nut up. You want it, tell her so. Break it down and have her respect you. Look, guys are their own worst enemy. We over think crap all the time. We worry when we are trying to get the girl cause we don't want her with another. We worry when we have her and we don't want another dude to come around and steal her. Hey fellas. Guess what? You show your woman love, respect, confidence, communication...etc....and your chick ain't gonna look to another man. Why? Cause she knows she has a great guy. When you doubt things, trust me...chicks pick up on it. I have been guilty of doing this in the past, so I know what I am talking about. When you like a woman...and I mean really, really like her...then you need to show it. You need to let her know that she is the only girl. Cause if she knows that, then you don't have to worry about silly games. Goof out. And be kind and rewind. ...nice world you come from. I only speak what I feel is true man. But yes...my world is nice, and pretty. Lol. Guys have a natural 'bounce back up' that most girls lack. They cling to thoughts, memories, and pain far longer than the average guy. Some guys may look at the next chick and never give them a full out chance; girls do the same, and even take it a step further. I showed my ex each and everyday what she meant to me.. Little things, big things.. Took her everywhere. Never shy in showing my affection in public. Yet each day. I was judged as if I was the last guy. That I was out man-whoring it up when she wasn't looking. Even if I had the desire to do that.. ..it wasn't even possible. I had no car. Rarely went anywhere with out her outside of work. Barely associated with my friends... Every time she'd tick me off... "Oh, what you gonna hit me now? Just like he used to!" While your words may be true some of the time.. Your 'knowledge' lacks the ability to be used 'all of the time'. I'm not using any of my exes or that situation against any new situation.. However, I am always starting so low on the food chain.. Because the only thing that makes me better then the exes.. ..she's waiting for me to BE like they were.. Not hoping I WON'T be like them. A girl finds out she was cheated on when her man goes out to play pool. You come in and take over. You go out and play pool. You've been judged. Whether she says it or not. You're not just competing with 10.6 other million guys.. ..but also the 10-20-30 she's already been with. To think this isn't the case.. Is naive. Guys do it too, don't get me wrong. Girls just make it into a science.. Ok. I wanna focus on one thing you said here. Before I do, I respect your feelings and views of this subject and I am not even gonna say that you are wrong. It's your opinion and view. You stated that you start off low on the food chain, due to the fact that she is waiting for you to be like all her ex's. To me, you can't control how she feels. Of course, if she has been burned before, she will be worried, wary of what you might do. But then again, if she also chose to be with you, then that means she is waiting for you to prove to her that you are the man she wants. My ex wife cheated on me. Does that mean every woman I date is being pre-judged that she would do the same as my ex? Heck no! I couldn't function if I thought every single woman out there wanted to just hurt me. And, being honest, if I were dating a woman who was hurt by a cheating ex, then I would talk to her and let her know that I am not her ex. And if she kept on comparing me to him, then she obviously isn't for me. That and she isn't ready for a relationship. |
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I'm a dude, and I disagree that guys have it tough. I say this simply because men can do the exact same thing to women. But let's not go into the woman side of this. Let's look at this theory you have. Be warned.....Goof is about to rant. Nothing wrong with being nice. Nothing wrong with treating women with respect, dignity, and with care. However, what is wrong is when a dude doesn't have a backbone. I'm not talking like he is part of the "smack-a-ho" tribe. I'm talking about when a dude doesn't "man up". Fact is, women want men to be....well....phucking men. Not saying they want us guys to be macho all the time. Not saying dudes have to protect their lady, try to fix them, and all that other crap. I'm talking about women want a man to be confident. If he is a geek, then be the most freaking confident geek alive. Know who you are, and you'd be amazed at the panties that fall before you. Don't go around with this, "Ohhhhhh.....gee wilikers.....will she get mad that I spent money on this clasiic Tonka toy without consulting her"? Dude....nut up. You want it, tell her so. Break it down and have her respect you. Look, guys are their own worst enemy. We over think crap all the time. We worry when we are trying to get the girl cause we don't want her with another. We worry when we have her and we don't want another dude to come around and steal her. Hey fellas. Guess what? You show your woman love, respect, confidence, communication...etc....and your chick ain't gonna look to another man. Why? Cause she knows she has a great guy. When you doubt things, trust me...chicks pick up on it. I have been guilty of doing this in the past, so I know what I am talking about. When you like a woman...and I mean really, really like her...then you need to show it. You need to let her know that she is the only girl. Cause if she knows that, then you don't have to worry about silly games. Goof out. And be kind and rewind. ...nice world you come from. I only speak what I feel is true man. But yes...my world is nice, and pretty. Lol. Guys have a natural 'bounce back up' that most girls lack. They cling to thoughts, memories, and pain far longer than the average guy. Some guys may look at the next chick and never give them a full out chance; girls do the same, and even take it a step further. I showed my ex each and everyday what she meant to me.. Little things, big things.. Took her everywhere. Never shy in showing my affection in public. Yet each day. I was judged as if I was the last guy. That I was out man-whoring it up when she wasn't looking. Even if I had the desire to do that.. ..it wasn't even possible. I had no car. Rarely went anywhere with out her outside of work. Barely associated with my friends... Every time she'd tick me off... "Oh, what you gonna hit me now? Just like he used to!" While your words may be true some of the time.. Your 'knowledge' lacks the ability to be used 'all of the time'. I'm not using any of my exes or that situation against any new situation.. However, I am always starting so low on the food chain.. Because the only thing that makes me better then the exes.. ..she's waiting for me to BE like they were.. Not hoping I WON'T be like them. A girl finds out she was cheated on when her man goes out to play pool. You come in and take over. You go out and play pool. You've been judged. Whether she says it or not. You're not just competing with 10.6 other million guys.. ..but also the 10-20-30 she's already been with. To think this isn't the case.. Is naive. Guys do it too, don't get me wrong. Girls just make it into a science.. Ok. I wanna focus on one thing you said here. Before I do, I respect your feelings and views of this subject and I am not even gonna say that you are wrong. It's your opinion and view. You stated that you start off low on the food chain, due to the fact that she is waiting for you to be like all her ex's. To me, you can't control how she feels. Of course, if she has been burned before, she will be worried, wary of what you might do. But then again, if she also chose to be with you, then that means she is waiting for you to prove to her that you are the man she wants. My ex wife cheated on me. Does that mean every woman I date is being pre-judged that she would do the same as my ex? Heck no! I couldn't function if I thought every single woman out there wanted to just hurt me. And, being honest, if I were dating a woman who was hurt by a cheating ex, then I would talk to her and let her know that I am not her ex. And if she kept on comparing me to him, then she obviously isn't for me. That and she isn't ready for a relationship. Goof is right. You can't just assume that everyone is going to be like your exes. If you worry about that all the time, things will end up going badly. If she does the same, you'll just have to decide if it's worth staying with her or not. Sin, some guys do the exact same thing that you described women doing. So we have to deal with the same stuff and decide whether that guy acting as if every woman is like his ex is worth sticking it out for. I'd do the same thing that Goof said.. talk to them about it and remind them that I'm not their ex. If it still continues, I'd have to move on. |
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I think a lot of what is being said here adds up to going slow at first - especially if one of you has been "burned" and you know you have some insecurities there
A man who cheated on an ex as one time thing could also end up being the most faithful guy ever as he learned a lesson if one partner in a relationship is tossing out accusations for which there are no proof that is something more deep seated we all just want love & respect - so I can perhaps respectfully try to talk about my issue and come to an understanding and u can do the same with me (say if his ex cheated on him and I am the kind of person who is gone a lot - that could be a recipe for a problem) - so talk & clear the air - and do that as often as necessary beyond this, no one should have to live with continued accusations for which there is no substantiation the other side of that is if she/he catches you - don;t lie - fess up and deal |
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Edited by
sweetestgirl11
on
Sun 01/22/12 02:06 PM
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oops
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My ex wife cheated on me. Does that mean every woman I date is being pre-judged that she would do the same as my ex? Heck no! I couldn't function if I thought every single woman out there wanted to just hurt me. And, being honest, if I were dating a woman who was hurt by a cheating ex, then I would talk to her and let her know that I am not her ex. And if she kept on comparing me to him, then she obviously isn't for me. That and she isn't ready for a relationship. The start of this. That was my point. Guys function differently. ..but how do you know she wasn't the one? Giving up on someone.. just because of the scars? People wonder why love 'doesn't exist'. Love. Time. I swear they be cousins. |
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What is it with men and their balls???? My boobs are nicer!  Can YOU prove that?  WE NEED PIC'S and ID please. But to be real,,I WILL AGREE FULLY WITH YOUR WISDOM HERE AS TO THEM BEING BETTER,,HANDS DOWN!!!  
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Goof is right. You can't just assume that everyone is going to be like your exes. If you worry about that all the time, things will end up going badly. If she does the same, you'll just have to decide if it's worth staying with her or not. Sin, some guys do the exact same thing that you described women doing. So we have to deal with the same stuff and decide whether that guy acting as if every woman is like his ex is worth sticking it out for. I'd do the same thing that Goof said.. talk to them about it and remind them that I'm not their ex. If it still continues, I'd have to move on. I don't do it. I agree with both of you. I'm merely stating, not every has the ability to maintain that frame of mind. Memories is just a cute word for scars. Again, giving up... ..and yet your soul mate could be one of those scarred for life, hoping for someone to change their minds. A cycle. You giving up, does that truly help anyone in the situation? Isn't life, love, marriage about adjusting to the change brought by the wave of time? Or are we naive in our belief; perfect now or move on? |
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Goof is right. You can't just assume that everyone is going to be like your exes. If you worry about that all the time, things will end up going badly. If she does the same, you'll just have to decide if it's worth staying with her or not. Sin, some guys do the exact same thing that you described women doing. So we have to deal with the same stuff and decide whether that guy acting as if every woman is like his ex is worth sticking it out for. I'd do the same thing that Goof said.. talk to them about it and remind them that I'm not their ex. If it still continues, I'd have to move on. I don't do it. I agree with both of you. I'm merely stating, not every has the ability to maintain that frame of mind. Memories is just a cute word for scars. Again, giving up... ..and yet your soul mate could be one of those scarred for life, hoping for someone to change their minds. A cycle. You giving up, does that truly help anyone in the situation? Isn't life, love, marriage about adjusting to the change brought by the wave of time? Or are we naive in our belief; perfect now or move on? |
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Doubled to left!
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from what I have observed among friends family and self where there are marriages of many many years is that both partners will move mountains to help each other heal
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from what I have observed among friends family and self where there are marriages of many many years is that both partners will move mountains to help each other heal Exactly.. So if you really, really, really, like her/him.. Is it not being overly hypocritical to simply say: "You are not worth it. I'm moving on." ? |
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from what I have observed among friends family and self where there are marriages of many many years is that both partners will move mountains to help each other heal Exactly.. So if you really, really, really, like her/him.. Is it not being overly hypocritical to simply say: "You are not worth it. I'm moving on." ? I can't imagine telling someone who I love that they are not "worth it" deciding to live apart can occur for many reasons but not because (my or your) partner is not "worth it" IDK if it's hypocritical but it is certainly mean spirited - if they "aren't worth it" then what are you doing together in the first place, would be my question at some point the person we are helping to heal has to show some progress If I love someone and my issues are making him miserable, what does he owe me? to me, these are answers that are up to the couple and there are no set right & wrong answers |
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Goof is right. You can't just assume that everyone is going to be like your exes. If you worry about that all the time, things will end up going badly. If she does the same, you'll just have to decide if it's worth staying with her or not. Sin, some guys do the exact same thing that you described women doing. So we have to deal with the same stuff and decide whether that guy acting as if every woman is like his ex is worth sticking it out for. I'd do the same thing that Goof said.. talk to them about it and remind them that I'm not their ex. If it still continues, I'd have to move on. I don't do it. I agree with both of you. I'm merely stating, not every has the ability to maintain that frame of mind. Memories is just a cute word for scars. Again, giving up... ..and yet your soul mate could be one of those scarred for life, hoping for someone to change their minds. A cycle. You giving up, does that truly help anyone in the situation? Isn't life, love, marriage about adjusting to the change brought by the wave of time? Or are we naive in our belief; perfect now or move on? I don't believe in soulmates. And I'm not going to stay in a relationship with someone who is clearly not ready to be in one. If they're continuing to compare me to an ex, they're not ready to move on from the previous relationship. |
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from what I have observed among friends family and self where there are marriages of many many years is that both partners will move mountains to help each other heal Exactly.. So if you really, really, really, like her/him.. Is it not being overly hypocritical to simply say: "You are not worth it. I'm moving on." ? I can't imagine telling someone who I love that they are not "worth it" deciding to live apart can occur for many reasons but not because (my or your) partner is not "worth it" IDK if it's hypocritical but it is certainly mean spirited - if they "aren't worth it" then what are you doing together in the first place, would be my question at some point the person we are helping to heal has to show some progress If I love someone and my issues are making him miserable, what does he owe me? to me, these are answers that are up to the couple and there are no set right & wrong answers I absolutely agree. But. What I'm trying to point out is.. You both said that, not me. "Aren't worth it" may not have been your exact words. But if someone gives up on you, is it not the same feeling you'd have been left in their absence? Granted if nothing changes in like what's reasonable? 6 months? A year? Depends I guess on how much you care and are willing to pursue it, then yeah, that would be expected, if not acceptable to leave then.. *sigh* lol |
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Edited by
singmesweet
on
Sun 01/22/12 03:05 PM
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People handle relationships in different ways. Sin, if you want to stick it out with someone no matter what happens, go for it. Are you single now? If you are, then you've not done that.
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