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| Topic: Cleaning Out Your Closet... | |
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I'm not even sure how a picture and a contact number coincide? They are totally separate. It makes me scratch my head that they can be compared as one to the other.
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I am the same. When a relationship is done, it is done. Don't call me. Don't write me. Go away. Simple. Move on. This is pretty much how I am. Of course I had children with two of my exes so I had to keep their contact info. 
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Metaphorically speaking...when a relationship and/or friendship is done, I tend to delete all references to that person and I don’t keep telephone number(s), email addresses, cards, letters etc. For me, this isn’t a ‘I hate you’ sort of thing, it’s just that I’m not overly sentimental and if I’m not going to keep in contact with that person, why would I hang onto their contact details? Are you the same or am I overly harsh? I guess this is why I am too nice. I don't think there is a person in this world I would stop talking too. I am never angry over a breakup.  same here - I have a couple exes where we never really broke up we just drifted apart - I'd be happy to see any of them - actually I can say that of most of my exes - even the one where there was an actual break up I don't intentionally keep there stuff but I dont throw it out either I don't really think about it I don't care if they keep mine or not as it's fine w/ me if they want to talk |
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I throw it all out in the yard and set it on fire!!!!!
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Out of sight out of mind
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Out of sight out of mind pretty much but that is not necessarily a negative - not in my life anyway |
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Metaphorically speaking...when a relationship and/or friendship is done, I tend to delete all references to that person and I don’t keep telephone number(s), email addresses, cards, letters etc. For me, this isn’t a ‘I hate you’ sort of thing, it’s just that I’m not overly sentimental and if I’m not going to keep in contact with that person, why would I hang onto their contact details? Are you the same or am I overly harsh? I GUESS,,its just a ponder of slow and miss,,,WELL,,THAT IS,,unless it was a bad GOODBYE,,,GOODBYE,,,And then,,yep,,its over,,its over. But to be very real here,,the ones who I have tried dating,,MOST are STILL my friends,,,and we still,,remain FRIENDS,,on here.. Just because WE never workd out like we thought we might,,doesn'tmean WE part or lose THAT first found friendship we had.. NOW,,,many I'msure don't feel this way,,but it was tried,,and thats all there was to that...So why LOSE a friend,,who IS YOUR FRIEND,,just because YOU AND THEM<<THOUGHT TO GO FURTHER? But MANY will disagree,,,  ITS the NET....
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I guess I fall in the softie category, because I won't go out of my way to get rid of their contacts. I've only done that for two or three guys who dumped me really hurtfully. With the others, where it was just something that didn't work out, well where's the harm?
Besides, my address book isn't so chock-full that I like to delete anyone unless it's absolutely necessary (i.e., they're dead). |
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Out of sight out of mind yeah, once they're out i make a bonfire in their memory. |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Fri 01/06/12 08:40 PM
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I guess I fall in the softie category, because I won't go out of my way to get rid of their contacts. I've only done that for two or three guys who dumped me really hurtfully. With the others, where it was just something that didn't work out, well where's the harm? Besides, my address book isn't so chock-full that I like to delete anyone unless it's absolutely necessary (i.e., they're dead). I agree. A somewhat causal relationship that ends on friendly terms does not have to be severed completely as long as both parties truly understand that it is over. But where one party might still be hanging on to hope, it is necessary to break all ties to make it clear. Unless you both just like a once in a while casual role in the hay with no strings.  I'm thinking about a more serious relationship like a marriage or long term one. |
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My relationships have evolved/continue evolving. I make no special effort to either delete or hang on but I adapt to wherever the evolution takes me,,,,,
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I am a sentimentalist; I keep everything. I also remember phone numbers, so deleting them would mean having to pull a MIB mind-reset fairly frequently.
 Instead, I pack the momentos up in a box and stash them away for a rainy day when I want to conjure up memories of my past. And who knows, maybe I'll need the material for reference, someday, when I write my memoirs! LOL. |
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I'm not one for just suddenly moving on. For me, it takes time. I did love him at some point in my life, so i need to accept that without ignoring it. I can never fully abandon a memory, where i had a close bond with someone. If i did, then i obviously wouldn't be being myself, for that reason alone. I have a big heart to a fault. I can look back at all the inside jokes we shared and still laugh about them now as we speak. It doesn't have to be so cathartic, or brutal. If he sent me a nasty text message, then i normally read it a couple of months later, rather than that same day, as i know it may only send me into an unwanted rage. Only one ex ever did that though.
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I think it’s healthy to mourn the end of any relationship particularly if it was a close one however, as I stated in my original post, I just don’t feel the need to keep the associated memorabilia.
It’s not a ritualistic thing, I don’t ruthlessly go through my contacts list, hunt for their name(s) and gleefully delete/erase. It’s just if I’m scrolling through my phone and come across their name, I’ll delete it...if I’m having a clear out and find a photo(s) of them, I throw it out.. |
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Metaphorically speaking...when a relationship and/or friendship is done, I tend to delete all references to that person and I don’t keep telephone number(s), email addresses, cards, letters etc. For me, this isn’t a ‘I hate you’ sort of thing, it’s just that I’m not overly sentimental and if I’m not going to keep in contact with that person, why would I hang onto their contact details? Are you the same or am I overly harsh? I am the same, once a relationship is over for me it's over. And I've often thought "am I being to harsh". But a lot of my behavior has to do with with being married for 25 years to an alcoholic and leaving him countless times only to be told by him he'd go to rehab, marriage counseling (never happened) etc once I finally broke free, I told myself I'd never do that again, if I feel the relationship is not worth it that's it for me.I came across this in a book I was reading and I think it holds true. "Behavior patterns are hardwired into the limbric system of the brain and are reinforced through thousands or millions of repetitions. It takes a powerful commitment and deep inner work to release old patterns, and it takes time".So basically we are what we are, I prefer to move on, cut all ties and find someone that is better suited for me. |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Sat 01/07/12 12:33 PM
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Metaphorically speaking...when a relationship and/or friendship is done, I tend to delete all references to that person and I don’t keep telephone number(s), email addresses, cards, letters etc. For me, this isn’t a ‘I hate you’ sort of thing, it’s just that I’m not overly sentimental and if I’m not going to keep in contact with that person, why would I hang onto their contact details? Are you the same or am I overly harsh? I am the same, once a relationship is over for me it's over. And I've often thought "am I being to harsh". But a lot of my behavior has to do with with being married for 25 years to an alcoholic and leaving him countless times only to be told by him he'd go to rehab, marriage counseling (never happened) etc once I finally broke free, I told myself I'd never do that again, if I feel the relationship is not worth it that's it for me.I came across this in a book I was reading and I think it holds true. "Behavior patterns are hardwired into the limbric system of the brain and are reinforced through thousands or millions of repetitions. It takes a powerful commitment and deep inner work to release old patterns, and it takes time".So basically we are what we are, I prefer to move on, cut all ties and find someone that is better suited for me. I can relate to that a lot with my X husband. But what if the person is your brother? My brother was a serious and hopeless alcoholic, -- plus he heard voices in his head. I "divorced" him in my mind because there was not much I could do to help or change him. I just let go of the idea that he should be in my life just because he was my brother. He kept going back to alcohol and drugs to self medicate. One day I hope they find a cure for people with those kinds of problems. Meanwhile, we have to go on with our lives. |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Sat 01/07/12 01:47 PM
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I think for family members,relatives it's a lttle different. You don't cut ties with them,but also you don't let their lifestyle rule yours. And though my ex would technically be considered a relative (husband) I have nothing to do with him anymore, for me that works best than to be dragged into his drama and addiction.
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Sat 01/07/12 02:11 PM
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It's funny that this subject came up, right when I'm dealing with an ex boyfriend that contacted me around Christmas wishing me a merry Christmas, so against my better judgement I wrote back wishing the same, today he wrote that he'd like to see me again. I am wavering between writing back and telling him exactly why that's not going to happen or just ignoring him hoping he'll get the hint. I'm trying my best not to let the ***** out. (biotch)
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It's funny that this subject came up, right when I'm dealing with an ex boyfriend that contacted me around Christmas wishing me a merry Christmas, so against my better judgement I wrote back wishing the same, today he wrote that he'd like to see me again. I am wavering between writing back and telling him exactly why that's not going to happen or just ignoring him hoping he'll get the hint. I'm trying my best not to let the ***** out. (biotch) Just send him a note card that reads "No thanks." Or "No way in hell." Whichever you feel appropriate. |
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Edited by
Jeanniebean
on
Sat 01/07/12 02:22 PM
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If it were me, I would ask...
"Oh did HELL FREEZE OVER? I didn't get the memo." Or "Oh do pigs fly now? I hadn't heard." |
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