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| Topic: before you commit...... | |
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This goes for men and women, I in my life play an advanced game of "show me yours, I'll show you mine" BEFORE ANY RING, VOWS, KEYS, ETC. are exchange......
I take them and talk to them and sit down at the computer with them. I confess everything in my criminal pass and what my credit history is. All I ask if that they be honest about theirs in exchange. Everyone's moral compass is different as to what they are willing to accept. If a guy says to me "well I was young, dumb, and full of... and I stole a car. And 6 years ago when the economy dumped, I lost my business and filed bankruptcy......." So you sit down and pull up each others rap sheets and credit histories. If everything is as you both said, cool. If there are all kinds of charges that they didn't tell you and they have screwed over everybody from T-Mobile to GE Money Bank, bad. Everyone should know the world is pulling up your rap sheet constantly. Employers, people you meet, they just need your name. That's it. Location is useful but not necessary. You should just be aware. |
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Edited by
Stargazzer250
on
Thu 01/05/12 10:47 AM
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And one of the Major "COSTLY" biggies that'll hang over someone's head for a long, long, long time is a "DWI" conviction.
 Get married to someone with that in their current history ( in most cases lasts fo at least 7 years from date of conviction) see what happens to "YOUR" car insurance premium. OUCH!! 
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And one of the Major "COSTLY" biggies that'll hang over someone's head for a long, long, long time is a "DWI" conviction. Get married to someone with that in their current history ( in most cases lasts fo at least 7 years from date of conviction) see what happens to "YOUR" car insurance premium. OUCH!! See? And guys who are NOT honest call me ball buster, etc. It's important stuff to know. It really does affect your life. And certain convictions DO tell you something. Like a DUI, that person did not take being intoxicated and driving seriously. That they were sitting behind the wheel of a 2 ton weapon of death under the influence. If that was recent, honestly, I would take that MORE seriously than a guy who stole something at 20. |
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Honestly I'm not showing them nothing as far as my credit history ect...
Why cause I have no intentions of getting married again if I do then that is a different situation. But as long as we are dating I think during that time most will be honest with the one they are with...That is why it is best to ask questions. If they are not then most likely they are lying about more then just those things... I understand the DWI issue but that is still not a reason to blow someone off due to that if they have one. It does not mean that person is not worthy to be with.. 
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Honestly I'm not showing them nothing as far as my credit history ect... Why cause I have no intentions of getting married again if I do then that is a different situation. But as long as we are dating I think during that time most will be honest with the one they are with...That is why it is best to ask questions. If they are not then most likely they are lying about more then just those things... I understand the DWI issue but that is still not a reason to blow someone off due to that if they have one. It does not mean that person is not worthy to be with.. Like I said, it is all up to "YOUR OWN PERSONAL MORALE COMPASS" as to what you think is acceptable or not. It's very much a individual level thing as to what you want in your life or don't. It's up to you. I say that without judgment. I have certain beliefs about certain crimes. Like with me, you are never ever in the history of the world convince me to date a known sex offender........... |
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Honestly I'm not showing them nothing as far as my credit history ect... Why cause I have no intentions of getting married again if I do then that is a different situation. But as long as we are dating I think during that time most will be honest with the one they are with...That is why it is best to ask questions. If they are not then most likely they are lying about more then just those things... I understand the DWI issue but that is still not a reason to blow someone off due to that if they have one. It does not mean that person is not worthy to be with.. Like I said, it is all up to "YOUR OWN PERSONAL MORALE COMPASS" as to what you think is acceptable or not. It's very much a individual level thing as to what you want in your life or don't. It's up to you. I say that without judgment. I have certain beliefs about certain crimes. Like with me, you are never ever in the history of the world convince me to date a known sex offender........... No one said anything about one being a sex offender and dating them. Ohh and one does not have to ask that question it is online for all to see just look them up....... But now if one is 19 dating a 17 year old and it is pressed as far as the system goes they are listed as a sex offender... So guess that every situation must be looked out before throwing stones... There are many reasons I will not date some when one says they have been in prison it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.. But at times one must find out why they were there first before they past that judgement.. I know a guy that did 3 years in prison. Why due to he caught his wife in bed with another man and almost beat the guy to death with a baseball bat. Does that make him a bad guy? Hummm sorry but the guy is out now and raising his 13 year old daughter by himself due to her mom does not deserve the title of being a mother. As far as the guy he is actually a very hard working and great person...Does not mean he does not deserve someone.... JMO.... |
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I'm not sitting down and showing anyone my past, nor do i want to see theirs. It takes time to get to know people, I have that time.
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Hmmm there is nothing in my past that people cant see or know,
Honesty is majorly important to me, the past is the past but I sure dont want yucky surprises.. So would much rather have it laid out to me when things begin looking like they may be heading for more than basic friendship.. |
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Honestly I'm not showing them nothing as far as my credit history ect... Why cause I have no intentions of getting married again if I do then that is a different situation. But as long as we are dating I think during that time most will be honest with the one they are with...That is why it is best to ask questions. If they are not then most likely they are lying about more then just those things... I understand the DWI issue but that is still not a reason to blow someone off due to that if they have one. It does not mean that person is not worthy to be with.. A friend of mine, when he is interested in someone, does a background check thru one of the BG Check search engines (BTW it isn't free, in-fact can be quite expensive pending on the options chosen). He went this route to protect himself from potential problems. I don't know and could care less. Should anyone think their credit history is private you better think again...according to him, those companies dish up the whole enchilada. Pending on a prospective mates employment, your credit history could be an issue. Hey, don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger here. I don't necessarily agree with that procedure, but who am I? Regarding the DWI issue. I left out another costly point (unintentional, believe me). That being: Should you just "ONLY" share an apartment or live together, under the same roof (does get technical here) and one of you has a DWI all persons in that residence are subject to the increased insurance cost. AND that is "EXPENSIVE". In New York State there is a device convicted DWI drivers are required to have installed on their vehicle, an approved ANTI-START control, At their own expense at that. BTW, should there be any other vehicles registered at the same address (even if not registered to the DWI driver) ALL VEHICALS will have same type, yet separate devices installed.Each unit is COSTLY as all get out. So what starts on 1 coast soon makes it to the other. You still think you don't need to know? |
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Should I bring up the time served in a Turkish prison? Even if it was all just a huge misunderstanding...
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Should I mention I like to kiss like a Hamster???
 
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Honestly I'm not showing them nothing as far as my credit history ect... Why cause I have no intentions of getting married again if I do then that is a different situation. But as long as we are dating I think during that time most will be honest with the one they are with...That is why it is best to ask questions. If they are not then most likely they are lying about more then just those things... I understand the DWI issue but that is still not a reason to blow someone off due to that if they have one. It does not mean that person is not worthy to be with.. A friend of mine, when he is interested in someone, does a background check thru one of the BG Check search engines (BTW it isn't free, in-fact can be quite expensive pending on the options chosen). He went this route to protect himself from potential problems. I don't know and could care less. Should anyone think their credit history is private you better think again...according to him, those companies dish up the whole enchilada. Pending on a prospective mates employment, your credit history could be an issue. Hey, don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger here. I don't necessarily agree with that procedure, but who am I? Regarding the DWI issue. I left out another costly point (unintentional, believe me). That being: Should you just "ONLY" share an apartment or live together, under the same roof (does get technical here) and one of you has a DWI all persons in that residence are subject to the increased insurance cost. AND that is "EXPENSIVE". In New York State there is a device convicted DWI drivers are required to have installed on their vehicle, an approved ANTI-START control, At their own expense at that. BTW, should there be any other vehicles registered at the same address (even if not registered to the DWI driver) ALL VEHICALS will have same type, yet separate devices installed.Each unit is COSTLY as all get out. So what starts on 1 coast soon makes it to the other. You still think you don't need to know? As far as the DWI conviction my son has one and lived under my roof and still carries my address on all his mail ect... I live in Texas his conviction does not effect my insurance in any way shape or form.. In Texas I know you can sign a waiver that states they are not covered under your Vehicle insurance therefore it does not effect you just cause they live there. As far as the device for DWI convictions that is for them only at least in Texas it is not for everyone in the house. But for every vehicle that person drives. Yes my son had one of those as well... As far as finding out info on another person it is not that hard to do many things you can google and find out.. No one said that the information can not be found I have myself found out many things on those I have talked to on the internet without them knowing. All I'm saying is you can do all the background checks ect. you want to do on a person and in the end it does not tell you how that person truly is. JMO |
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Excellent,  This is where it's all heading. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNJl9EEcsoE&feature=youtube_gdata_player |
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TxsGal3333,
what I'm stating regarding the DWI's is what's going on here in NYS at the present time. From what I've observed in the recent years is what takes place and has managed to become accepted elsewhere soon becomes the law of the land. In NYS it's all about the $$$ and power and those in power are gonna squeeze the rest of us for all the $$$ they can. No disagreement from me on your last statement "...how that person truly is..." It just might be costly, that's all. What is or does "JMO" mean? |
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TxsGal3333, what I'm stating regarding the DWI's is what's going on here in NYS at the present time. From what I've observed in the recent years is what takes place and has managed to become accepted elsewhere soon becomes the law of the land. In NYS it's all about the $$$ and power and those in power are gonna squeeze the rest of us for all the $$$ they can. No disagreement from me on your last statement "...how that person truly is..." It just might be costly, that's all. What is or does "JMO" mean? I do understand what your saying and getting at. That is something that each person needs to look at and make sure they can deal with the issues another person brings into the situation... But just saying it should not be grounds to not get to know the person more..... JMO = Just my opinion~~~~ 
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The only thing I do is try to share my philosophy project.
I never held anyone to even reading anything, and none actually did, so I never actually made it a must. I figured I was just lucky enough to find someone. But now, with a screwed past, screwed present, and dim future, I just do my best to send them on their way, by being honest. If that does not frighten them, well then, they are doing something I don't, drugs. |
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Should I bring up the time served in a Turkish prison? Even if it was all just a huge misunderstanding... You too??? Hey, we mighta been there at the same time! 
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