I swear I think guys who are 41 to 45 hit this like magical age where they are old enough to appreciate a good relationship and still agile enough to have A REALLY GOOD TIME.....

I must of missed that age.

lol, I guess it depends upon where you live

plenty of forty something men clinging to their twenties and still looking to be 'excited' and entertained

harder for those to truly appreciate a 'good' relationship because they are more focused on a 'good' time,,,,

I couldn’t agree with you more MsH, It IS like dating someone in their 20’s...all instant gratification and immaturity but with a truckloads of baggage (that they don’t acknowledge).

I have found that men in their 30's are more mature than men in their 40's...and yes, I'm aware that I'm generalising!

maybe that 'midlife' thing?


however, I do find the op statement to be true of most WOMEN,,,,lol

probably the whole mother thing we often go through by that age,,,causing an inner tendency to 'grow up'..lol

That depends on your idea of a "good" relationship. What is a good relationship to you?

one with a strong friendship, common shared goals, honesty, passion, and responsibility towards each other,,,

Most (not all) of the men I meet in their 40's are looking for women in their 20's and 30's.

yes, that midlife thing,,,,,

And that doesn't involve excitement and entertainment?

I do get a lot of men in their 40s sending me messages. And in their 50s as well. I prefer the younger men.

those would fall under 'passion'

Ah, ok. I was asking because this part of your previous post made it sound like that wasn't part of a good relationship:

"plenty of forty something men clinging to their twenties and still looking to be 'excited' and entertained"

apologies, that should read 'looking to JUST be excited and entertained'

You know I have to say I so do not relate to most of the women on Mingle. I have had so many beyond incredibly wonderful amazing men in my life as friends that English is such an ugly language does not even begin to express their fine details and beautiful intricacy. I often wonder how their girlfriends are so blind, deaf and dumb to what I see in them. And it's real. It's there.

You can take THE NICEST GUY ON EARTH. Be a complete insensitive biotch to him, get a complete b*stard back.

All these women saying there are no good guys. HA. Then why do I know minions of them? But I do not set them up usually because I do not want to be responsible for if she hurts him.

And all this "guys do not want to commit". That's cr*p. They want to commit to someone who treats them well. Not someone he is a just a vibrator/bank account to them. I have said that over and over. Guys feel something when have sex too emotionally. Whether they let on or not.

And a lot of guys do not use the word "love" because it's overused or has been abused but show it every way 'til Tuesday through their actions.

And the things I have seen done in the name of pseudo feminism. "I DON'T NEED YOU!! I AM AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN...."

Really?? How would you feel if he said that to you?? That he didn't need you. And you can argue with me all you want and you are lying out your azz if you say that if a man you loved pulled that cr*p, it wouldn't hurt. Maybe you don't need him financially. Maybe you do not need him to make your life whole, etc. But maybe he makes your life so wonderful that YOU DO NEED HIM around because losing the happiness he brings you WOULD HURT.

I know my **** is going to get jumped over this post and I really don't care. Because the people who would jump me over this are the ones plowing over some really wonderful guys. And they don't see those guys and they don't understand what I am saying either in reality so their opinions don't mean that much.

Well, it's not easy for the rest of us mortals to be like you, Tea.

But, I do know a lot of great guys. I will think of them now....

Married
Married
Taken
Gay
Married
Married
Lives in Canada


Well....you see my dilemma. When I said the guys I knew I were after younger women, I was talking about the very few at my age who are actually available and in the country.

I dunno maybe I should ask the last three women whose sofas I fell asleep on. A couple still call me!

Ya know, that is mean to call me something other than a mere mortal. I am probably the MOST human nature driven person you could come across.

But I am not so busy running through life that I plow past everything.

I mean I drive the 101 and PCH all the time. Not for the destination but for the journey along the way. I am enjoying the scenery, the weather, the music on the radio, the fact that my music is so loud in my cheap car that the mirrors are bouncing, etc. I see people speeding down these same freeways enjoying nothing. I am in one the most gorgeous places in the world. And they are busy thinking about the end point.

In life, you have nothing but the present moment. PERIOD. I take that to heart. When I am with a friend, MALE OR FEMALE, and he or she is telling me something, I listen. People always wonder how I know so much about so many subjects. Because I was paying attention because someone felt it important enough to put it in to words. And ya, I know physicists and welfare moms. I learn something from all of them.

You're right and I apologize.