Hello I just got out of an 8 year relationship so im not looking to rush into anything right now just coversation and idk this whole dating thing is out of my comfort zone it feels like it's been forever so idk drop me a line with advice or coversation???? Thanks for reading and goodluck in your ventures..

I hear ya. No hurry. Take your time. I was in a relationship for years and it was out of my comfort zone. I have grown really comfortable being single. It wasn't comfortable at first but neither was the relationship that I had. Stay comfortable and just Mingle here. I have found it to be safe and comfortable.

I know what you're feeling. Mingle is a great place to make some good friends, no pressure. Some very wonderful people here in the forums. Join in and have some fun.

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Be an angel and hopefully that nervous feeling will let up after a while.

Thanks for the reassurence it was much needed... : )

It can be a real anxious time as the whole universe seems indifferent. I just got out of a fourteen year relationship. I tried my best to make it work so I have no regrets and came out of it a better man. The truth is that there are plenty of people who are looking for love and loyalty. You will be loved again. Just takes time to heal. I am in the same boat. One thing is for sure - time heals.

Welcome to the Mingle Playpen. You hopefully will find what I have which is geninely nice people.

You do what is right for you but being a little uncomfortable is normal. You read poems and jokes forums you will find out you are just like the rest of us.

Food for thought when we streach we help ourselves grow. Have a really good first of the week.

I find driving in the car screaming along to Alanis "Jagged Little Pill" helps a lot. It's the small things in life like that which will get you through this.

The whole cd helps a LOT!!!!

So... what you are saying is..the wedding is off!?
... Just kidding. We wont be too hard on ya!

I think a lot of us feel something similar - even drawn to the online community as a way to decompress and withdraw and heal but at the same time, still get to interact. I am always willing to share some conversation. Just a message away... Good luck & welcome to the site

Gynephobia: An abnormal, irrational and persistent fear of women. Sufferers experience anxiety even though they realize they face no threat.

"Gynephobia" is derived from the Greek "gyne" (woman) and "phobos" (fear). Alternate spelling: "gynaephobia." The prefix "gyne-" (or gyn-, gyno-, gynec-, gyneco-, gynaec-, or gynaeco-) enters into a number of biomedical terms.

I get a lot of help from abnormal women who help me with my fear of normal women. Some come to the meetings with Fear of men: An abnormal and persistent fear of men. Sufferers experience anxiety even though they realize they may face no real threat.

Fear of men is termed "androphobia," a word derived from the Greek "andros" (man) and "phobos" (fear). "Andro-" enters into a number of other biomedical terms.

Together we try to sort a lot of stuff out to help us with our fear of normal people. The fear of normal people is so scary that we can't even find a term for it. We just know that when we meet each other for a while it gives us strength to deal with normal people.

I felt that way when my 20 year marriage ended. Dating??? Wait ... what????


I became the anti dater. I just met people and got to know them. No pressure. No expectations. Calling it a date made me feel weird and nervous but meeting potential new friends wasn't threatening.

If there is more than friendship to be explored it will make itself known. It always does ...


Relax and enjoy yourself without a bunch of added pressure.


...and welcome to Mingle

hey pay, when i left my last marraige i took a couple of years just doing guy stuff and stayed away from the pretty ones completely. i found it kinda neat not having to be considerate of the ladies. after those 2 years i think i was more ready than ever before to dive back in but with a difference; now i've found quite a bit of happiness in my bachelorhood and don't feel the pressure to find a gal just to have her around. i can relax and just let it happen if it happens.

Excellent advice. I should have done the same. I finally did starting last year. I had no timeline...I just knew I wasn't going to date for however long I needed to. It's been a little over a year and I am ready to date again. But, with a whole new perspective and without any pressure on myself.

The hard part of any marriage relationship is trying to put the pieces together....and regain strenghth to move on in life or what the situation is. I have been thru alot after trying so much to make the marriage work I just dcided to walk right out..and maybe start a fresh ...who' know Mister Rights just a step away...

Good...you should be nervous about dating...fear is a survival instinct. We all got it.

I like this-

If there is more than friendship to be explored it will make itself known. It always does ...


usually it goes from horizontal to vertical in a few seconds time and is clearly visible beneath the jeans

Well I think rainbow might be on to something here.

Im glad I dont have it.
My life is more like Charlie Sheens. Im getting some at least.

Following the end of my 10 yr relationship, I waited about 6mths before I started dating – and it was strictly dating!

I needed to test the waters and wanted some form of external validation that other men still found me attractive. It took an additional 2 yrs before I seriously dated anyone.

My advice would be along the lines of Rainbow Trout’s...take your time and don’t rush into anything because it won’t last. In my case, I needed time to properly mourn the loss of my best friend and lover and that doesn’t happen overnight.

Good luck!