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| Topic: Deal Breakers | |
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Agree. I'm unconscionably superficial and I'm OK with it. As for "extensive," I suppose it depends on one's perspective. A lot of people have deal-breakers based on smoking and tattoos and income and all that sort of thing, and none of that means anything to me one way or the other. But I won't have anything to do with a parent or a drinker. Priorities. Ya'know Lex, I don't see you as at all superficial. I've read your profile (not recently though), and all of your deal-breakers seem reasonably well thought-out and logical to me. Issues like not wanting kids are incredibly important to establish at the beginning, for the future happiness of both parties. Superficial (to me anyway) would be saying something like "I won't date anyone with brown hair". I think establishing deal-breakers (and making sure your potential mate knows about them) is very important. I'd rather know NOW if someone hates dogs (for example), then find out the first time I invite him over. The reason I will sometimes classify myself as superficial is because I've reached the point where I've accepted that I really can't get interested in somebody if there isn't some kind of physical attraction. This came about because I was noticing that there were 18.2 billion women who put "Looks don't matter" and "It's what's on the inside that counts" in their profiles, but they wouldn't date anyone who wasn't at least Brad Pitt-level attractive. From this, I realized that these women were probably just putting things in their profiles because they wanted to avoid being ostracized for coming across as "shallow" and "superficial," which maybe they thought would happen if they said "I won't get involved with anyone who isn't a perfect male specimen" or whatever. It occurred to me that this sort of thing would only serve to hamper relationships from starting up -- if guys read the profiles and thought, "Hey, here's a women who's willing to give an average guy a chance," when she really wasn't, it would just make life more difficult for both of them. OK, so I decided I would just come right out and admit that I'm not attracted to everybody. In fact, I'm almost never attracted to anybody, outside of Billie Piper and that one girl at the anime store. Maybe it's not exactly the "usual" superficial, but that's OK. I'm not pretending about what I like or don't like.... |
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IT would probably be easier to say what ISN'T A DEAL BREAKER,,,,lol
For their are many things that could make me turn and walk away, and I"M EASY,,,,,,  drugs. playing around with another(always flirting BAD, while with me) sex with another Talks much,,but never cares what I have to say. TELLING ME always, what,when,where? Ordering me always,,as never nicely suggesting. untruthful,,, cares about her and her family but the hell with you and yours. Never wanting to have sex when you want to,,just her needs? Her job is felt by her,,more than YOU should care about yours? aways bitccccccching,,never happy.. Expect everything and anything,,but she never gives these would break any relationship,,and many on going dates! |
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No culture fetishes (some people love women from a specific culture).
He should not be hyper and be able to stay still for periods of time. |
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Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. But I have deal-breakers. Hell, I've been married, I've dated, I know what I just can't be okay with. I'm a little curious if other people agree/disagree or just want to offer their perspective. So, without further adieu, my list of deal breakers (in no particular order) - The "Little Man Complex." Don't misinterpret this to mean that I have a height requirement. I don't. At all (how horrible of a person that would make me, at only 5'1", ha!). What I have a problem with, is men who have to prove something because THEY are uncomfortable with their height. Take my ex: at 5'7", he would offer to 'beat someone up' who was no threat at all to him or I, but just as proof (apparently to me) that he was capable. However, when push came to shove and it was time to step up and grow a real backbone, he was unable. This is a guy who drove a lifted, modified, big, black SUV with "USMC" stickers all over the place. Best part? I met him in the military... the Air Force. OMG. I married the idiot (bad on me). On the other side of that coin is a friend that I have now (who I care for deeply, but who has told me that he has no interest in a relationship-- don't ask, long story). This one is 5'6" but couldn't be more secure. He's older, more than 10 years older than I am, but I do adore him. I've seen him get between two men, each twice his size, to deter a fight. I knew it wasn't to impress me, back in his rugby days he's taken far bigger injuries, this would have been minor. - Video Games. I don't feel the need to elaborate on this one. - "Me Man, You Woman" attitude. Yeah, I'm a girl, but if I'd rather have a beer at a pub with friends, than meet up with the other moms on the block, that should be quite alright. I find that I have little in common with the suburban mom's in my area. I don't bake, have little patience/talent for crafting, and well, I'm totally ok with that. - Picky eaters. Man up. Grow up. Eat. If you whine because there are pieces of tomato in your marinara that aren't unrecognizable to your sensitive palate, then you're a nuisance and I seriously will not go out with you again. Sounds harsh, I know. Personal pet-peeve. What can I say, I'm jaded in weird ways. - Invertebrates. Please grow one. Stand up to me. I can be a bit aggressive at times, but I usually mean it with good intentions and just come off in ways that I don't see, unless you tell me. And if you're compensating, your attitude will probably mirror that of the first pet-peeve (see above). - Grammar/Spelling. Yeah, I know, it really shouldn't matter. But it does. I edit for a living. You may as well go on a date with your High School English Teacher. I send text messages in full sentences, and WITH punctuation (shocking, I know). Do I screw up periodically? Of course. I'm forgiving, I just appreciate effort. Curious what people think. Bad list? What are your deal breakers? Yew shuur gots a lodda stuph u don liek. As far as the invertebrates comment...my penis has a knuckle so I feel that should count for something. :) Ps....what other kind of marinara is there? If it aint tomato...it's alfredo. |
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My ex used to complain that the chunks of tomato in the sauce made him want to vomit. It was annoying. And embarrassing when he asks the waiter if there are vegetables/fruit in each entree. I'd rather eat alone.
I don't think it's a lot, Krupa. I'm pretty firm on those, but very chill/lax in every other area. Just be cool with me and who I am, and I'll do the same for you... Easy! 
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I guess where I am is I look at dealbreakers and preferences as different things. I do have some preferences - but they have more to do with values than tangibles - but few dealbreakers - only firm ones- there must be an attraction - I cannot put my intimacy out there otherwise (there's a not nice name for that)
drugs and bisexuality would be dealbreakers for intimacy but I have bisexual freinds - no issue there I do have some prefernces eg -don't care for smoking and I'm not a pet person, but those are not dealbreakers |
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As long as she is not too full of herself, brings her own smokes, buys a round once in a while, and has nice legs, I'm in.
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