OK peoples I want some help here, I am wondering what topics are things that shouldnt be mentioned until theres a good flow going?
What things should be left best to just talk about in person?
What things if mentioned or asked about puts up red flags?

I have had some conversations with random people and the conversation is good until I get the to the one word response phase and it feels like I am the only one willing to add to the conversation... maybe i have asked something to personal, or the person is shy?
I know jokes are a good why to get out of that bubble maybe there are other ways too?.

I have lost my discomfort with any and all topics and can pretty much talk about anything and I am armed with over a million things that I wanna know about the person I get interested in.

I dont wanna seem to pushy or like im prying for information like some slueth from another country looking for war secrets, nor do i wanna come across like im desperate for thier attentions or affections. I have found I have grown more comfortable with starting conversations.
I want feed back esspecially since its an online conversation, i hope that makes sense?

Any suggestions on things i should try and get to know?, what topics seem to get more of a discussion that lets you get a better feel for the person, or something that just gets a person talking when it seems the conversation has died but still liking the person?

Just be yourself and talk about whatever you feel is right. If the other person gets offended by anything they probably aren't the right person for you.

Dont expect everyone to be able to hold a decent conversation with you, because many people aren't capable of it. If your only getting one word replies just move on.

You're over thinking this way too much. If you're chatting with someone new on here, read their profile first. Comment on something that interests you. Otherwise, just talk about what you're comfortable talking about and see how it goes.

I got an IM from a new person here last night, and she asked me what I wanted to know about her.

I told her, "Whatever you want to tell me, I'm not here to interrogate you."

She seemed a little surprised at first, as if she had been expecting a standardized checklist of questions, but after that she just started telling me about her life, her work, etc.

I don't think there has to be a pre-made template for this sort of thing. People have their own timetables for when they want to open up about this or that or whatever. It's not my job to extract information. But I'm a good listener, and I think that's a first step.

I get what you're saying here. Although i like talking about many things here, i sometimes feel as if i'm not welcome, or slightly intimidated. Not all the time. Just every now and then. Just talk about what you want really. Just don't joke about death. You can talk about mainly anything on here.

I agree with this, if the conversation is dragging it probably isn't worth it. You shouldn't feel like you're working just to maintain conversation.

Some of us yack so much we wouldn't know a lull
in the conversation if the earth stopped spinning
as the poles realigned.

If you see someone interesting, and want to get
some idea of who they are, you can go back and
look at everything they have ever written. Click
on "Posts"# beneath their forum picture.
It can be a real eye-opener.

As for thread suggestions, the weirder the better,
everything else has been done to death :-)
Pose any unique angle on anything interesting to
you. Threads aimed solely at getting attention
usually get..mixed attention.

As for taboo conversation subjects, I would avoid
being overly affectionate just out of the gate.
She wants your interest, not necessarily your paws.

I try to remember that =I know some peopel dont have very advance conversational skills eg. "how are you?" answers "good". but no response or inquiry. Mind that I usually ask this from friends and such. online dating convos are more a continuation left off from previous conversations after going to bed for the night.



Im not meaning to over think it or make it appear that way, i just want opions from those who have experienced the same issues and in what ways these things were worked through. I am comfortable with all topics and am not sure how to find out the boundries without watching for an expression or body language. Online makes it a lil more complicated that way.



Thanks! thats actually pretty good I'll try to remember to keep that in mind.



I understand that works on this site but not all of dating sites work quite like this one. would topic headlines for a first message work for your "wierder the better" view? I like threads that give me a look in to how people percieve things the mixed attention of agreed or disagreed. its interesting as I like to learn new ways to see the world.
what are taboo subjects? I dont really know how affection works through messaging can you give me a few examples?

You should read through Dating&Relationships,
the threads in there have a lot of answers
to the same questions.

To answer your query, the worst thing you
can do in early emails, is come on too strong.
Seriously, it is worse than disappearing.
"I love you" "You're so beautiful" "I know
you're the one" you can't sell that in a can.
The gals on Mingle get way too much attention
to pay any attention to the over-amorous.

Be you.
And don't conform to anything anyone else says :-)

No hey baby/sexy/honey/sweetie/whatever. Don't talk about sex in the first email or ask them out immediately. Giving a compliment is fine, but overdoing it is not.

Just relax and like others have said, be yourself.

Yeah I know over all to be myself. the person I am has changed alot within these last few years because i have grown within myself, by implimenting others perspectives into my own ways of thinking and concidering how things i say and do are percieved by others and how it may not show who i really am or show too much. learning dos and donts that have worked or been experienced by others has led things to my favor into accomplishing my goals.

if you get to the one word response phase, and it lasts more than just a couple messages, move on! I usually feel bad telling someone "i just dont want to talk to you" and thats when i slip into one word responses...

I have tried with success on one occasion "I want to continue talking, but I do not know how to respond to that." I will remember to move on from those that keep up with it afterwards though now

Dude...topics are a crapshoot....

I have seen plenty of them that should have gone on forever but, nose dived immediatly.

I have seen crap ones roll on endlessly.

Step up to the plate....put yo stuff in everyones faces and take the chance.....there are plenty of regulars who just screw the pooch with every attempt. Wing it out there and hope for the best cause there is no magic phrase that will ensure the thread will fly.

So what if a topic flounders? Nothing ventured...nothing gained.

haha i like that way of putting things so all or none kinda thing?

As Douglass Adams put it...Life the Universe and Everything.

Pillows.

Soft, fluffy pillows.

They are always a comfortable topic. And they are fun, too.

You can throw them at your partner/friend/spouse/lover/kids. If you do it just right, you can whomp a big busty blonde in skimpy nightwear and *poof* ... big cloud of feathers. In slow motion.

Hey, it can happen, I've seen it in plenty of teen angst movies.

And comfortable. Don't forget that, too. At night, you can lay your head on one and it's almost like laying your head on a cloud. Yes. Your own little cloud carrying you off to dreamland. (insert lullabye music)

Ok, you can wake up now.

Well, there's your comfortable topic.

Next?

that made me lol, ok i will totally bring that up nest chat session :) just for fun

Actually, I kinda got depressed thinking of how many times I have humped my pillows. Though my pillows still tell me "I love you"