100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Christian Attitude | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
Ladylid, normally I would agree.....but when relationships end, it is normal to go thru all kinds of mixed emotions(before one is able to love the ex partner unconditionally yet) , ranging from apathy to pain, to feeling ok for awhile, back to pain, to anger, to hurt, to feeling okay for awhile again.... etc. etc. etc... The best way to heal is just allow the pain, and go thru all the strange cycles of emotions first...knowing that eventually full healing will come......and THEN that is the time when one can eventually love the ex unconditionally ,as Christ would have one love the ex partner........but UNTIL that time comes, one should not get under self condemnation, because he/she is not there yet. 
Healing from a broken relationship TAKES TIME......AND will bring on all kinds of emotional madness... 
allow all the mixed emotions..cause the end will surely come....leaving behind, perfect peace 
gee, thanks for filling me in on what heartbreak is like.... 
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
MorningSong
on
Tue 09/06/11 11:39 AM
|
|
Ladylid, my post was in response to what you wrote,
but was actually directed towards christians. I should have made it clearer. (and it was not that I thought you did not know what heartbreak was).
You wrote: "No, it's not christian enough to just not wish harm on others.
We should ALL be cheering each other on and wishing ALL good will. It's the human thing to do, has nothing to do with religion at all. If one is a pest, throwing their issues on us, becoming a pain in the ***...wouldn't it make sense to wish them well, pray for them, WANT them to be happy?!?! A happy person wouldn't be a pain in your ***...don't ya think?!?! You can do that without having to deal with their crap." Ladylid, CHRISTIANS may feel, that just because they ARE christians, they are SUPPOSED to still love the ex partner unconditionally WHILE going THRU a breakup... INSTEAD of JUST ALLOWING themselves FIRST, to go thru the MIXED EMOTIONS that WILL come...which is all a NORMAL part of healing. That's all that was meant. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
thats like arguing that blacks have lower standards because mostly blacks are in jail sure it is. but you're the one whose argueing that christians have higher standards because they are christians. neither your point nor mine is relevant is it? there are MANY demographic reasons behind the incarceration statistics which have little to do with values in general
of course. but you didn't seem to consider demographic reasons when you stated that in general christians have a higher standard of ethics. i'm simply throwing your argument logic right back atcha. Its not 'selfish' to follow the golden rule, its realistic
as UNTIL I interact and do something WRONG to someone else, I have no way to know how they would wish to be done (unless I ask permission before whatever I say or do, which I doubt anyone including atheists do) its more realistic to use a gauge that I actually KNOW(like how I wish to be treated) when trying to appropriate my own actions and words with other people realistic for you perhaps and i'd agree realistic for most christians. but not realistic to me. of course you have no way to know what someone would wish done upon them until you get to know them so why would you do upon them what you'd do upon you? that makes it all about you, no? selfish. as far as standards of ethics, my observation has been the mainstream ethic seems to be that if something doesnt HARM someone else, its ok to do it, that its 'personal'
that's one ethical standard, i agree. but i go out of my way as much as anybody to not harm others as do my secular friends but i cannot say that about all of my christian friends. you claimed your experience, i'm simply claiming mine. Christian ethics makes very few decisions mere 'personal' ones and has us more connected in our responsibility towards others, towards family, towards community,
tell that to the kkk who are all christians. this is a much higher standard, in my opinion, if your friends believe in it thats great, but thats not the general consensus I am witnessing amongst most of the secular world during this lifetime,,,
i used the kkk as an example of lower ethical standards. can you give an example of a secular group who lives an ethical standard below yours? and the religios standards requires or demands no thought argument has gotten old,,,, as old as any other argument that tries to state that merely following a (man made)law is indicative of not THINKING
one and the same. both man made and biblical laws are designed to require no thought. you obey or else. unless you don't get caught of course. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I dont think it has to be classified. I do so because my experience has been that 'society' (human beings in general) seem to accept a much lower standard of ethics than 'christians'
msharmony, I would be interested to know how you arrived at this conclusion. I mean perhaps there are a lot of people who just claim to be Christians when it is convenient for them. I know they seem to talk a good game. But do all Christians walk the walk? I doubt it.... Are the large majority of secular non-Christians less ethical or have less personal standards? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
thats like arguing that blacks have lower standards because mostly blacks are in jail sure it is. but you're the one whose argueing that christians have higher standards because they are christians. neither your point nor mine is relevant is it? there are MANY demographic reasons behind the incarceration statistics which have little to do with values in general
of course. but you didn't seem to consider demographic reasons when you stated that in general christians have a higher standard of ethics. i'm simply throwing your argument logic right back atcha. Its not 'selfish' to follow the golden rule, its realistic
as UNTIL I interact and do something WRONG to someone else, I have no way to know how they would wish to be done (unless I ask permission before whatever I say or do, which I doubt anyone including atheists do) its more realistic to use a gauge that I actually KNOW(like how I wish to be treated) when trying to appropriate my own actions and words with other people realistic for you perhaps and i'd agree realistic for most christians. but not realistic to me. of course you have no way to know what someone would wish done upon them until you get to know them so why would you do upon them what you'd do upon you? that makes it all about you, no? selfish. as far as standards of ethics, my observation has been the mainstream ethic seems to be that if something doesnt HARM someone else, its ok to do it, that its 'personal'
that's one ethical standard, i agree. but i go out of my way as much as anybody to not harm others as do my secular friends but i cannot say that about all of my christian friends. you claimed your experience, i'm simply claiming mine. Christian ethics makes very few decisions mere 'personal' ones and has us more connected in our responsibility towards others, towards family, towards community,
tell that to the kkk who are all christians. this is a much higher standard, in my opinion, if your friends believe in it thats great, but thats not the general consensus I am witnessing amongst most of the secular world during this lifetime,,,
i used the kkk as an example of lower ethical standards. can you give an example of a secular group who lives an ethical standard below yours? and the religios standards requires or demands no thought argument has gotten old,,,, as old as any other argument that tries to state that merely following a (man made)law is indicative of not THINKING
one and the same. both man made and biblical laws are designed to require no thought. you obey or else. unless you don't get caught of course. a mischaracterization of what I said which was ' my experience has been that 'society' (human beings in general) seem to accept a much lower standard of ethics than 'christians' NOTICE THE DISCLAIMER of 'my experience has been' of course someone running for a marathon is going to train a bit harder than someone merely trying to stay fit likewise, someone who is concerned with the guidelines for healthy SPIRITUAL living is more likely to study and train a bit harder than those who just feel it will work itself out without the same effort,,, as far as following rules requiring no thought,, that is another misnomer by those who have some issue with rules EVEN if they make sense people choose all the time what rules they will follow, including christians, so the idea they give no thought before they act in concordance or in rebellion is nonsensical at best |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
msharmony
on
Tue 09/06/11 05:04 PM
|
|
I dont think it has to be classified. I do so because my experience has been that 'society' (human beings in general) seem to accept a much lower standard of ethics than 'christians'
msharmony, I would be interested to know how you arrived at this conclusion. I mean perhaps there are a lot of people who just claim to be Christians when it is convenient for them. I know they seem to talk a good game. But do all Christians walk the walk? I doubt it.... Are the large majority of secular non-Christians less ethical or have less personal standards? My conclusion comes from my experiences and conversations in christian circles as compared to those of the general public or mainstream forums like these the underlying standard for the latter , in my experience, seems to lie in the idea that very few things are harmful to anyone unless they cause some immediate and personal physical harm, and therefore very few things should be considered 'wrong' , or even 'illegal' In christian circles, there has been (again, in my experience) more of a focus on a GREATER PURPOSE for humankind as a group and human spirits (as opposed to just the flesh) which leads to there being concern for far more than just what causes 'physical' harm,,,,or what seems to have some IMMEDIATE negative impact in christian circles , people seem to be more convinced of a design for things, in mainstream circles people seem to be convinced that we all just randomly follow our own self made designs,,,, When I ask something of a christian or christians, I am generally expecting/wanting an opinion of how that thing fits in with Gods design for us, it makes sense from a standpoint of someone who believes in such a thing myself to seek advice from others who are familiar and likewise interested in such a goal anyone not believing in Gods design(as stated in the bible, that is) is not likely to take what IM asking seriously or is not likely to give me an answer in line with the information I am seeking(information from a biblical standpoint) |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The religions itself repressed women. The Catholic Church comes from the old school and if a man died his wife then became the responsibility of his brother. Repressed women? Gee I dunno, I like the idea of the brother thing if you marry a guy with a handsome and likeable brother! Seriously though, I think that women should be civil to their spouses. I was lucky enough to divorce without a battle. We just wanted to close the chapter and move on after so many years. Both of us had flaws and both realized that it takes two to tango. Most divorces are as a result of 50/50 flawing, immaturity, disrespectfulness, or whatever you want to call it, even though it's hard to admit that at first. I think it' particularly important for women who have children to maintain at least "reasonably polite" contact with their spouses, although though they may often have to use the phrase, "well guess we'll just have to agree to disagree" (which you may even consider using when he says you have an unchristian attitude.) Often that phrase stops arguments from going further, especially if you quickly change the subject afterward. Plain and simply, no two people will ever agree on everything all the time anyway. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The religions itself repressed women. The Catholic Church comes from the old school and if a man died his wife then became the responsibility of his brother. Repressed women? Gee I dunno, I like the idea of the brother thing if you marry a guy with a handsome and likeable brother! Seriously though, I think that women should be civil to their spouses. I was lucky enough to divorce without a battle. We just wanted to close the chapter and move on after so many years. Both of us had flaws and both realized that it takes two to tango. Most divorces are as a result of 50/50 flawing, immaturity, disrespectfulness, or whatever you want to call it, even though it's hard to admit that at first. I think it' particularly important for women who have children to maintain at least "reasonably polite" contact with their spouses, although though they may often have to use the phrase, "well guess we'll just have to agree to disagree" (which you may even consider using when he says you have an unchristian attitude.) Often that phrase stops arguments from going further, especially if you quickly change the subject afterward. Plain and simply, no two people will ever agree on everything all the time anyway, and when there are kids in the marriage, it's a lot of stress relief for them when parents are civil. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The religions itself repressed women. The Catholic Church comes from the old school and if a man died his wife then became the responsibility of his brother. Repressed women? Gee I dunno, I like the idea of the brother thing if you marry a guy with a handsome and likeable brother! Seriously though, I think that women should be civil to their spouses. I was lucky enough to divorce without a battle. We just wanted to close the chapter and move on after so many years. Both of us had flaws and both realized that it takes two to tango. Most divorces are as a result of 50/50 flawing, immaturity, disrespectfulness, or whatever you want to call it, even though it's hard to admit that at first. I think it' particularly important for women who have children to maintain at least "reasonably polite" contact with their spouses, although though they may often have to use the phrase, "well guess we'll just have to agree to disagree" (which you may even consider using when he says you have an unchristian attitude.) Often that phrase stops arguments from going further, especially if you quickly change the subject afterward. Plain and simply, no two people will ever agree on everything all the time anyway, and when there are kids in the marriage, it's a lot of stress relief for them when parents are civil. I agree completely. It may not have been a bad idea for SOMEONE else to be there to fill in for what he abandoned instead of having to struggle alone, or deal with a society that rates me as second class for having to do so, actually. I think the OLD RULES may have been on to something. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I dont think it has to be classified. I do so because my experience has been that 'society' (human beings in general) seem to accept a much lower standard of ethics than 'christians'
msharmony, I would be interested to know how you arrived at this conclusion. I mean perhaps there are a lot of people who just claim to be Christians when it is convenient for them. I know they seem to talk a good game. But do all Christians walk the walk? I doubt it.... Are the large majority of secular non-Christians less ethical or have less personal standards? My conclusion comes from my experiences and conversations in christian circles as compared to those of the general public or mainstream forums like these the underlying standard for the latter , in my experience, seems to lie in the idea that very few things are harmful to anyone unless they cause some immediate and personal physical harm, and therefore very few things should be considered 'wrong' , or even 'illegal' In christian circles, there has been (again, in my experience) more of a focus on a GREATER PURPOSE for humankind as a group and human spirits (as opposed to just the flesh) which leads to there being concern for far more than just what causes 'physical' harm,,,,or what seems to have some IMMEDIATE negative impact in christian circles , people seem to be more convinced of a design for things, in mainstream circles people seem to be convinced that we all just randomly follow our own self made designs,,,, When I ask something of a christian or christians, I am generally expecting/wanting an opinion of how that thing fits in with Gods design for us, it makes sense from a standpoint of someone who believes in such a thing myself to seek advice from others who are familiar and likewise interested in such a goal anyone not believing in Gods design(as stated in the bible, that is) is not likely to take what IM asking seriously or is not likely to give me an answer in line with the information I am seeking(information from a biblical standpoint) I have to admit that I have received a great deal of warmth and friendliness from most Christians even when they discover that I am not one of them. There are exceptions of course. I have no doubt that if I walked into any Church here in town that I could easily make many friends. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I dont think it has to be classified. I do so because my experience has been that 'society' (human beings in general) seem to accept a much lower standard of ethics than 'christians'
msharmony, I would be interested to know how you arrived at this conclusion. I mean perhaps there are a lot of people who just claim to be Christians when it is convenient for them. I know they seem to talk a good game. But do all Christians walk the walk? I doubt it.... Are the large majority of secular non-Christians less ethical or have less personal standards? My conclusion comes from my experiences and conversations in christian circles as compared to those of the general public or mainstream forums like these the underlying standard for the latter , in my experience, seems to lie in the idea that very few things are harmful to anyone unless they cause some immediate and personal physical harm, and therefore very few things should be considered 'wrong' , or even 'illegal' In christian circles, there has been (again, in my experience) more of a focus on a GREATER PURPOSE for humankind as a group and human spirits (as opposed to just the flesh) which leads to there being concern for far more than just what causes 'physical' harm,,,,or what seems to have some IMMEDIATE negative impact in christian circles , people seem to be more convinced of a design for things, in mainstream circles people seem to be convinced that we all just randomly follow our own self made designs,,,, When I ask something of a christian or christians, I am generally expecting/wanting an opinion of how that thing fits in with Gods design for us, it makes sense from a standpoint of someone who believes in such a thing myself to seek advice from others who are familiar and likewise interested in such a goal anyone not believing in Gods design(as stated in the bible, that is) is not likely to take what IM asking seriously or is not likely to give me an answer in line with the information I am seeking(information from a biblical standpoint) I have to admit that I have received a great deal of warmth and friendliness from most Christians even when they discover that I am not one of them. There are exceptions of course. I have no doubt that if I walked into any Church here in town that I could easily make many friends. I think you get back what you put out Jeannie,, warmth begets warmth
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think you get back what you put out Jeannie,, warmth begets warmth
That is a universal truth!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
a mischaracterization of what I said which was ' my experience has been that 'society' (human beings in general) seem to accept a much lower standard of ethics than 'christians' NOTICE THE DISCLAIMER of 'my experience has been' i understood well that it was simply your experience. i simply related my own, quit different experience. of course someone running for a marathon is going to train a bit harder than someone merely trying to stay fit
likewise, someone who is concerned with the guidelines for healthy SPIRITUAL living is more likely to study and train a bit harder than those who just feel it will work itself out without the same effort,,, but one need not rely on a god to train morally. and of course not knowing what 'spiritual living' is i obviously would not bother training for it. as far as following rules requiring no thought,, that is another misnomer by those who have some issue with rules EVEN if they make sense
make senese to whom? i see the bible as nonsense so i've constructed my own rules for living an ethical life. doing so required a lot more thought than simply reading a bible and listening to ministers to form a moral compass. people choose all the time what rules they will follow, including christians, so the idea they give no thought before they act in concordance or in rebellion is nonsensical at best
i understand your thinking. i think differently. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
a mischaracterization of what I said which was ' my experience has been that 'society' (human beings in general) seem to accept a much lower standard of ethics than 'christians' NOTICE THE DISCLAIMER of 'my experience has been' i understood well that it was simply your experience. i simply related my own, quit different experience. of course someone running for a marathon is going to train a bit harder than someone merely trying to stay fit
likewise, someone who is concerned with the guidelines for healthy SPIRITUAL living is more likely to study and train a bit harder than those who just feel it will work itself out without the same effort,,, but one need not rely on a god to train morally. and of course not knowing what 'spiritual living' is i obviously would not bother training for it. as far as following rules requiring no thought,, that is another misnomer by those who have some issue with rules EVEN if they make sense
make senese to whom? i see the bible as nonsense so i've constructed my own rules for living an ethical life. doing so required a lot more thought than simply reading a bible and listening to ministers to form a moral compass. people choose all the time what rules they will follow, including christians, so the idea they give no thought before they act in concordance or in rebellion is nonsensical at best
i understand your thinking. i think differently. completely my point,, thinking differently does not equate to one thinking and the other not,,, 
By all means, people choose their moral compass, but it comes from their own experiences,,whatever those are, and if those experiences come from the Bible and LIFE, they involve as much thought(to come to a decision) as it does to come to a decision from LIFE and anything else.... my question was a reflection not that everyone else has to abide by 'christian' values, or that 'christian' values have to be present for anyones decisions,,merely FOR ME,,,living according to 'christian' values is important, so I naturally ask advise from others for whom such 'values' are also important... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I see this originally got posted a little while ago, but actually this isn't really specific to religion. So I can throw in my view
If you're being verbally or physically abused, or the (ex)partner is fooling around with somebody else. Going out of their way to cause harm/distress to others, then they deserve what they get. When things are mutual and simply not working anymore (just arguing a lot), the best thing is to sit down and talk about the issues. Rekindle the romance if it's not too late. Some people can't do this and use marriage councellors to intervene. I'm not Christian, but I'm a believer of equal rights. At first I hated the fact that my ex has started dating other guys, after our 6 1/2 year relationship, even though I ended it and came back to England. Then afterwards I realised, it doesn't concern me anymore, it's her life now. It's just a human response to hate something that meant so much to you, then afterwards you can sit back and realise, actually it's for the better. Just remember, if it's not going to work out, you can't change a person. So only after you've both tried a lot to talk things out, if it's still not working. Then say that. Normally this is the wakeup call, when a partner says this isn't working. It can normally open their eyes and realise they or you haven't actually been working on the relationship. That's my 2 pence 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well put,, u are on a roll,,,lol
|
|
|
|
|
