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Topic: Christian Attitude
msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 08/21/11 06:32 PM Edited by msharmony on Sun 08/21/11 06:33 PM
Concerning broken relationships,,,is it christian 'enough' to not wish the other harm or should we still be 'cheering' them on and wishing them good will I ask, because I am completely numb concerning the ex. I dont wish him harm for certain, but I dont 'cheer' him on anymore either. I Certainly would be happy if he got his life together because he would be a better father for his child. He just feels because I am short with him, that I have an 'unchristian' impatience. I just dont like to lead people on or prolong things unnecessarily and if we dont talk about our child, I just dont have an interest in what he is saying(usually things I have already heard at least a hundred times) ,,,Should I try harder to be his 'friend'(keep in mind he constantly blames me and accuses me of things even now) or is it enough that I wish him well and leave him to live his own life?

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21484	Sun 08/21/11 06:37 PM
Having a "Christian attitude" does not mean you have to leave yourself open to be walked over. Some people will never, "get their lives together". Wish him well and say goodbye.

CowboyGH Joined Mon 10/05/09 Posts: 13651	Sun 08/21/11 06:59 PM
Concerning broken relationships,,,is it christian 'enough' to not wish the other harm or should we still be 'cheering' them on and wishing them good will I ask, because I am completely numb concerning the ex. I dont wish him harm for certain, but I dont 'cheer' him on anymore either. I Certainly would be happy if he got his life together because he would be a better father for his child. He just feels because I am short with him, that I have an 'unchristian' impatience. I just dont like to lead people on or prolong things unnecessarily and if we dont talk about our child, I just dont have an interest in what he is saying(usually things I have already heard at least a hundred times) ,,,Should I try harder to be his 'friend'(keep in mind he constantly blames me and accuses me of things even now) or is it enough that I wish him well and leave him to live his own life? You don't have to like him, you don't have to be his "friend". Think these verses will help your situation. ---------------- Matthew 5:43-45 43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. --------------------- Don't let him get to you MSHarmony. Just let it roll off your shoulders. Things people say or do will only effect you the way you allow them to. Just brush the things he says or does off like they didn't happen, cause they aren't important enough for the time and energy it would take to get upset in anyway over them. Just let him go his way and you go yours. Leave him there, the thoughts of him there, leave everything there where you two depart from one another. Maybe even pray for him, pray that his eyes will be opened to his foul ways.

CowboyGH Joined Mon 10/05/09 Posts: 13651	Sun 08/21/11 07:01 PM
Concerning broken relationships,,,is it christian 'enough' to not wish the other harm or should we still be 'cheering' them on and wishing them good will I ask, because I am completely numb concerning the ex. I dont wish him harm for certain, but I dont 'cheer' him on anymore either. I Certainly would be happy if he got his life together because he would be a better father for his child. He just feels because I am short with him, that I have an 'unchristian' impatience. I just dont like to lead people on or prolong things unnecessarily and if we dont talk about our child, I just dont have an interest in what he is saying(usually things I have already heard at least a hundred times) ,,,Should I try harder to be his 'friend'(keep in mind he constantly blames me and accuses me of things even now) or is it enough that I wish him well and leave him to live his own life? You don't have to like him, you don't have to be his "friend". Think these verses will help your situation. ---------------- Matthew 5:43-45 43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. 44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; 45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. --------------------- Don't let him get to you MSHarmony. Just let it roll off your shoulders. Things people say or do will only effect you the way you allow them to. Just brush the things he says or does off like they didn't happen, cause they aren't important enough for the time and energy it would take to get upset in anyway over them. Just let him go his way and you go yours. Leave him there, the thoughts of him there, leave everything there where you two depart from one another. Maybe even pray for him, pray that his eyes will be opened to his foul ways. Just be nice to him no matter what he may do, keep your cool and patience. This will drive him up the wall that he's not getting to you. His own words will hurt him instead of you if you don't allow them to.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 08/21/11 07:04 PM
ty for the advice, IM taking it all into serious consideration. It makes alot of sense.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 08/21/11 07:37 PM
stop them with kindness, I know it usually works,, just hard to do sometimes,,,

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 08/21/11 07:51 PM
stop them with kindness, I know it usually works,, just hard to do sometimes,,, True. My ex sued me for custody. Im lucky. I told my ex that my lawyer, and the G.A.L.(represents the interest of the child) both recommend that all are communication be limited to email. He complied. And proceeded to provide me with a mountain of evidence (so unable to control himself). I retained custody. I didnt have to lift a finger as he did it all to himself. your guardian ad litem(my mother was one) and attorney were smart people

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Mon 08/22/11 01:17 AM
It is for him to find his own way now. The Christian thing to do is to always be civil and kind but not get in the way of his own growth and process of self-revelation. For him to call you "Un-Christian" because you do not support him enough is manipulative and unworthy. It is not chivalrous or admirable behavior on his part. It is unfair and unkind of him to try to prey upon your natural inclination toward good and kindness to try to get more out of you emotionally and/or financially. As Christ would do - lead by example - but his struggles and choices are his. It is charitable enough to be simply nice to him - you should not advocate and promote him because this can be harmful in that it does not allow him to take responsibility himself for these activities and furthermore it is not in your own best interest - does not advance the greater good and to be truly Christian is to always seek the greater good.

ybcat1 Joined Sat 12/29/07 Posts: 530	Mon 08/22/11 10:26 AM
Having a "Christian attitude" does not mean you have to leave yourself open to be walked over. Some people will never, "get their lives together". Wish him well and say goodbye. I agree.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Mon 08/22/11 02:48 PM
Concerning broken relationships,,,is it christian 'enough' to not wish the other harm or should we still be 'cheering' them on and wishing them good will I ask, because I am completely numb concerning the ex. I dont wish him harm for certain, but I dont 'cheer' him on anymore either. I Certainly would be happy if he got his life together because he would be a better father for his child. He just feels because I am short with him, that I have an 'unchristian' impatience. I just dont like to lead people on or prolong things unnecessarily and if we dont talk about our child, I just dont have an interest in what he is saying(usually things I have already heard at least a hundred times) ,,,Should I try harder to be his 'friend'(keep in mind he constantly blames me and accuses me of things even now) or is it enough that I wish him well and leave him to live his own life? No don't be his friend. Most men don't know how to be friends to their X's. Don't let him con you into that. Be polite as you would any total stranger. It's just business now. Break all unnecessary strings. I know you have children together but that is the only thing and the only string. Anything else is not required.

s1owhand Joined Fri 05/18/07 Posts: 29437	Mon 08/22/11 08:29 PM
Too much Attitude and not enough Christian....

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Mon 08/22/11 08:58 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property.

CowboyGH Joined Mon 10/05/09 Posts: 13651	Mon 08/22/11 09:03 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. The religion did not teach this, the people did this on their own. Using verses to justify their actions, but not taking other verses into consideration. The bible sets it up that the man is the head of the house. But as the head, he is to love and cherish his wife, to take care of her. People would forget about that last part and basically "control" their woman. It's sad.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Mon 08/22/11 09:07 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. The religion did not teach this, the people did this on their own. Using verses to justify their actions, but not taking other verses into consideration. The bible sets it up that the man is the head of the house. But as the head, he is to love and cherish his wife, to take care of her. People would forget about that last part and basically "control" their woman. It's sad. The religions itself repressed women. The Catholic Church comes from the old school and if a man died his wife then became the responsibility of his brother. A woman was seen as someone who needed a husband. At one time the Catholic Church did not even consider women to be human.

CowboyGH Joined Mon 10/05/09 Posts: 13651	Mon 08/22/11 09:13 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. The religion did not teach this, the people did this on their own. Using verses to justify their actions, but not taking other verses into consideration. The bible sets it up that the man is the head of the house. But as the head, he is to love and cherish his wife, to take care of her. People would forget about that last part and basically "control" their woman. It's sad. The religions itself repressed women. The Catholic Church comes from the old school and if a man died his wife then became the responsibility of his brother. A woman was seen as someone who needed a husband. At one time the Catholic Church did not even consider women to be human. Again not the "religions" fault. The religion does not condone to this, this was purely the church's actions, which again were not totally supported by the scriptures.

CowboyGH Joined Mon 10/05/09 Posts: 13651	Mon 08/22/11 09:16 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. The religion did not teach this, the people did this on their own. Using verses to justify their actions, but not taking other verses into consideration. The bible sets it up that the man is the head of the house. But as the head, he is to love and cherish his wife, to take care of her. People would forget about that last part and basically "control" their woman. It's sad. The religions itself repressed women. The Catholic Church comes from the old school and if a man died his wife then became the responsibility of his brother. A woman was seen as someone who needed a husband. At one time the Catholic Church did not even consider women to be human. Again not the "religions" fault. The religion does not condone to this, this was purely the church's actions, which again were not totally supported by the scriptures. This is the scriptures on such an incident. Says nothing about the man's brother, or her having to marry anyone after her husband dies. 1 Corinthians 7:39 39The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

volant7 Joined Thu 06/02/11 Posts: 616	Mon 08/22/11 09:35 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. thats why men are men and wo men are a bit lower but that doesnt mean a man should treat you bad a real christian man should treat you good and you should be happy a good man is the head of the household and should treat you right

CowboyGH Joined Mon 10/05/09 Posts: 13651	Mon 08/22/11 09:44 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. thats why men are men and wo men are a bit lower but that doesnt mean a man should treat you bad a real christian man should treat you good and you should be happy a good man is the head of the household and should treat you right Notice the women have just as much power over the man as the man does over the woman. 1 Corinthians 7:4 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

volant7 Joined Thu 06/02/11 Posts: 616	Mon 08/22/11 11:39 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. thats why men are men and wo men are a bit lower but that doesnt mean a man should treat you bad a real christian man should treat you good and you should be happy a good man is the head of the household and should treat you right Notice the women have just as much power over the man as the man does over the woman. 1 Corinthians 7:4 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. the wife not women when they are married as one they are equal dont let new agers convince you that the woman is head

CowboyGH Joined Mon 10/05/09 Posts: 13651	Mon 08/22/11 11:46 PM
Traditionally, old time Christianity is a male dominated religion that has always treated women like second class citizens or property. thats why men are men and wo men are a bit lower but that doesnt mean a man should treat you bad a real christian man should treat you good and you should be happy a good man is the head of the household and should treat you right Notice the women have just as much power over the man as the man does over the woman. 1 Corinthians 7:4 4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. the wife not women when they are married as one they are equal dont let new agers convince you that the woman is head Can two people drive a car at the same time as sufficient as one? You know the saying "To many chiefs and not enough indians? To keep this from happening it is set up to where the man is in charge of the family. But again, with that job, he has responsibility to love and cherish his wife. To treat her with the utmost respect and care. And yes women are equal, no one ever said they weren't. Just the two different people have two different jobs/obligations in a relationship.