if you had a physical or mental health problem,how soon would you tell someone you had been chatting to and got along really well with? Would you tell them at all or leave it to a much later time?

I think physical and mental problems should be discussed upfront. Not in the first conversation, necessarily, it shouldnt define who you are,

but as soon as mutual interest in something more than chat becomes clear.

I put my physical disability in my profile (ESRD), it scares them off.

Msharmony I agree totally with your post.Sometimes people can make negative judgments without actually getting to know the person beyond the disability. Do people feel that there ought to be a status that would include this?or a status for people to exclude people with a disability?

I put mine in my profile.

Ruth I have had a peek at your profile and must say you look stunning. Sometimes people's ignorance of certain problems makes them afraid as they do not truly understand what it means/entails to live with it.I have problems but do tell people about them when have been chatting - is then up to them if they would like to continue to get to know me further or not. I haven't put it in my profile as sometimes that can be the main focus as to what's wrong rather than who are you. the people I shave chatted with and told have mainly still wanted to continue chatting.

these is just the best way, they will know, accept and love you for who you are.

Well good question and i must admire u for that,
This is a question that many others out there would like to hear the awnser to.

There is a lot of people who just dont care and would make hell for the sick ones,
But there also is alot that do care and im one that likes to talk
a friend is a friend and often the sick need a friend evan more,
I know what its like for i to once walked that path of loney feet
through illness, Mental illness is hard to over come but can be cured
I cured myself being in illness for 4 years tablets and injections
evan electric shocks did nothing for me,
I learned to tap into my own mind resorces and this was the start of recovery.
I stopped all medication and used self hypnossis and sure behold after only short time i found getting better to this day i remain good,
If your a friend of mine then your a good friend regardless of health problems.
Gee x

I think everyone has..areas where their
capacities are limited.
Some are on the outside, and you can see them.
Others are inside, where you can't.

Were it I, I would put EVERYthing out there
that anyone might consider negative.
Because it seems to me it may be far less
painful, losing the ones I never met, than
to lose someone after they discovered it.

I also think personality can outweigh
perceived flaws..I would not waste myself
on people who cannot see the forest
for the trees.

now I do not have any diagnosed disabilities

but I have numerous quirks and potential personality defects (depending upon the opinion of the receiver)

including a tendency to be a little bit bossy

I prefer to allow these items to unfold gradually

but I do not try to hide them in my communications

I don't describe my mental health issues as a problem. In fact, they're more of an asset for this inventor. I did, however chose to go back on a substandard dose of lithium for at least until the baby's born. As for health issues and relationships in general, it's best not to keep secrets.

I guess I think a lot of that depends on to whom you are talking. One man I was dating from another site was always annoyed with me (or so it seemed) because I was not more "revealing" - he took my tendency to be a private person as an affront (oh well....)

whereas a man I was talking to on here I felt comfortable telling anything....

I think it's just chemistry of the personalities...

but with the first man - I simply was not that interested in a continued relationship ... so I think what we are "willing" to discuss can be a measure of our interest in someone....or whether it's a passing friendship or a more serious interest

just my .02

The issue with my Lupus wasn't that guys weren't interested in me because of it. The problem arose because they underestimated the disease. They didn't realize how much it would affect THEM. Because I don't "look" sick, they think it will not be that bad. But, it is. It's very disappointing to make plans and then have to constantly cancel them. Or not make plans at all for simple things like going out with friends or taking a weekend getaway.

There's actually a website called ButYouDon'tLookSick.com

Because that's the problem. I don't look sick. So, guys think it won't be any big deal.

I think that it's good that you are upfront about it, though, and let people know from the very beginning.

Being honest is key.

but does it mean you have to shut down any potential relationships before the guy even has a chance to experience you? having to break plans doesn't have to be the end of the world. why can't plans just change. let's get on a motorcycle and ride out to airport to catch the next skydiving plane out, can change to lets just lie down and rest for the afternoon. i'd say that 99% of life is "boring" with a 1% "omg can you believe that chit"

Yes, it does mean that. Because, if I am honest, I will have to admit that at the end of the day I have no energy to put into a relationship. None. After work and the children, there is nothing left. And, that's just not fair.

yet being with someone would take some of that off your shoulders, just saying. plus a gentleman would think it's fair when it's for someone he loved

It sounds nice. But, it doesn't play out that way in reality. It's okay...I am very happy. I am not "giving up" or feeling sorry for myself. I know it probably sounds that way, but if you knew me in real life you would know that I am very happy with my life, my friends and my family.