HAHA I know how this one feels -_-. The trick is to be AWARe, but also be aware of the parnoia spawned from it. Dont let your self become judgmental over the issue but its good to be more cautious. It only means when you find a woman who you honestly believe she wont, she will be that much more special then your x. Dont expect it right away, but you could try maybe express this concern?

To be honest with a woman and show and properly express a fear, shows a woman your in controll of your emotions enough to be rational under stress. I dont think any thing bad "Unless worded wrong" could come from being open about it. :)

Trust is a gift you should bestow upon yourself, not others. You can only control your actions, not theirs. If you trust that you can handle anything, emotional pain included, then the animosity and bitterness you feel towards women in general will fade. Perhaps it isn't the women you mistrust...perhaps it's your feelings that you mistrust. You may say "I was faithful, honest, loving and a good mate to her and I believed that she would be the same to me." She wasn't and now you may be questioning yourself...how can I trust that the next woman won't fool me too?

I personally don't worry about what my partner may or may not do. I invest my all in the relationship and hope for the best knowing that if they hurt me, I will get up, brush off the wound and carry on. Eventually I will find someone that has the same commitment, love, passion and honesty that I give to the relationship. And I trust that I will be enough for that person when I find him.

Good luck in finding what you seek.

^ win

^^ Win X 2

Win, win? Sweet!! What do I win? A new car? A man's heart? A trip to watch the Sox win the World Series this year? Or the Bruins repeat? I'll take any or all of the above, thank you very much!

It was a really good post.... But I'm NOT a miracle worker ya know

Hey now, you can do a little jig and create rain but you can't help a girl out with one or two little wishes? Geez, I underestimated your wonder powers my friend!

A friend of mine works with a company that is putting
on a seminar on relationships and knowing who you can trust
in downtown Cincinnati. I don't know which hotel but I know
you can get 2 free tickets for doing a survey.

I'll get his number and pass it on if anyone is interested.

Very well said. I agree it's our problem to fix. ...But how do we fix it? hmmmm? I've Been burned too.

I pretty much agree with everyone... maybe you just arent ready for a relationship yet... i'm not saying dont go out, date, and have fun... but until you can be with THIS girl without thinking she'll screw up like the LAST girl.. its not fair to them for you to be in a relationship with them...

THIS. I think its so easy in modern 'dating' culture to bypass building friendships and go straight for the goal of having a romance. Its always been what I 'regret' the most. And I always say I will fall in love with my best friend if I ever get a chance to meet them and be their best friend as well.

just appreciate the friendships more.



Exactly! MsHarmony mentioned how some just want to switch to going for the goal, all too quickly. I think that indicates that many mean to say they want sex, rather than love. Well why not just say that then? Cos at the end of the day, it's only your decision that can leave you in limbo. And it would save wasting others time.

In relationships as in dating it is easiest and most convenient for most people if only two people are involved!

Everyone has lost faith, trust in someone.
You can sit on that pile of detritus forever
if you want to.
It is a safe, and protective spot.
No one can get at you, to cheat.
You are surrounded by others, just like you.
Or.
You can assess, come to a conclusion, mourn
and move on.
If you make the new ones pay for what the
old one did, you will sit atop your prison
forever.
Safe.
Indignant.
Alone.
Justified.
The road to true love SHOULD be lined with
those not worthy of you. The ones that make
you see the real one, so well.
Comparisons work.
Use them.
Methinks if you do not invest in trust you
will never get it back.

the lack of ability to commit is a problem tho

negative attitudes toward commitment are a red flag as a fully functional adult should be able to make & keep commitments

and I see nothing wrong with being sensitive to a new partner's needs, including not doing things to make that person jealous - whether or not there is an LTR - just if u r together at all being sensitive to another's feelings > not a huge leap, should be pretty basic unless a person is completely ignorant

yes

you get to be Thread Queen

IMO when u get hurt in a relationship it affects you self esteem,your 'gut feelings'(this can cause anger as is always a ? as to if it is right or not)
Others cannot fill that empty void-you need to be 100% happy with yourself and your life.....that takes time,otherwise it may come across as needy and angry-qualities which make people feel very wary.
I have been married twice and they both cheated-the last with my so called 'best friend'so I know how it feels.
I forgave-after a while as the anger,bitterness etc was destroying me-was like a weight had been removed from me emotionally and physically.
I wish you all the best in your journey

I totally agree with this. Couldn't have said it better. Nothing is ever guaranteed. We might as well learn to live with it.

Either it will manifest itself or it won't. I'd love to be able to say we can't get any lower, but sometimes we really can. Until we can't control our thoughts anymore. Keeping mentally well, is probably a must? Before working on anything else.