Topic: Looking for a husband
no photo
Sat 08/06/11 07:40 AM




It does seem like an obsession. And there is something a bit.. off about it.


when people don't conform to the "norm" they get criticized. when they conform they get lost in the shuffle. everyone has a different style and comfort zone. she has not found comfort in the zone she is in, so she is looking elsewhere. others as well have not found what they want where they are at, so they are utilizing the internet to reach other places. some are comfortable not posting, others post, some troll, some perv. in all this we all have to be open to what others have to offer. that's cool that you think she should be careful, but if you read what she posts, you might find that she is sure of what she wants, has broadened her search, and is screening those who comment. she isn't so obsessed as to jump on the first cat who want to marry her. just because she is taking an approach that you wouldn't doesn't mean you should be negative towards her


^^ Bump.

It is nice to see a woman at least be up front and know where she is and what she wants in life. Sometimes it seems like people do not know themselves well enough to even understand what type of relationship they are ready for. Best wishes in your search and while your eyes are open, don't forget to follow your heart.


Does a woman have to state that she's searching for a husband in order to seem as though she knows what she wants?


No, but by the same token try to understand some people want to make clear where they are at in life and what they seek.

Some people just want to date, some want to marry, some want to have a family, some want to marry but can't or don't want to have more than that one person. Being clear about who you are and what you seek even in a blunt manor.

I had to choose date because there is not an option for searching for the one... I don't need to date a bunch of women to find her, i just need time to know her.:smile:

no photo
Sat 08/06/11 07:44 AM




It does seem like an obsession. And there is something a bit.. off about it.


when people don't conform to the "norm" they get criticized. when they conform they get lost in the shuffle. everyone has a different style and comfort zone. she has not found comfort in the zone she is in, so she is looking elsewhere. others as well have not found what they want where they are at, so they are utilizing the internet to reach other places. some are comfortable not posting, others post, some troll, some perv. in all this we all have to be open to what others have to offer. that's cool that you think she should be careful, but if you read what she posts, you might find that she is sure of what she wants, has broadened her search, and is screening those who comment. she isn't so obsessed as to jump on the first cat who want to marry her. just because she is taking an approach that you wouldn't doesn't mean you should be negative towards her


^^ Bump.

It is nice to see a woman at least be up front and know where she is and what she wants in life. Sometimes it seems like people do not know themselves well enough to even understand what type of relationship they are ready for. Best wishes in your search and while your eyes are open, don't forget to follow your heart.


Does a woman have to state that she's searching for a husband in order to seem as though she knows what she wants?


Sure she does if that's what she wants. If she disguised it as anything else it would be deceptive. People are tired as you can see by these post of deceptive approaches to how someone feels or what they want. Finding a partner should not have to be a guessing game. What Nice has done is remove the layers of guess work and has stated who she is and what she wants. To many of us that's the real deal and the way we like to operate our lives. We're not saying that everyone has to do this we're just applauding that some has.

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Sat 08/06/11 07:47 AM
Good for you Nicelady, I love this thread!!

Give us more of this mingle. A world with clarity is so refreshing.

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Sat 08/06/11 07:57 AM
I think some of you have misundersood me. I'm all for men and women being upfront and honest about what they're looking for. I prefer it. Honesty is absolutely needed.

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Sat 08/06/11 08:04 AM

I think some of you have misundersood me. I'm all for men and women being upfront and honest about what they're looking for. I prefer it. Honesty is absolutely needed.

If i have misunderstood my apologies. I think if anything this thread is one of those "Don't shoot the messenger Shoot the message" threads.


I don't think sometimes it is about being upfront and honest, it just comes down to putting it out there "hey this is what i seek". For some people they simply do not know themselves, where they are in life, and most importantly exactly what they seek and have to offer.

Niceladyrealy's photo
Sat 08/06/11 10:03 AM





I don't see her as being obsessed, she's straight up about who she is and what she wants, just like you are being. If more people were this way it would make life a lot more pleasant.


one person's obsession is another's trivial pursuit

to advertise in a public forum to the extent that she has not only lacks taste and discretion, it IS obssesive-like in my book


im noht obsesd. Iköwhat iwant and im going for it.and besides this is a dating site where you can date people,where u can find what your looking for in a partner. Im being straight forward honest not playin games and wastn peopls time.some people only want casual sex,some want permanent relations and other want penpals. This is a dating site of course i should be clear what iwant.idont want casual sex with strangrs.iwant a husband a lifetime partner with children.and im not a lesbian and i have nothing againsthe gorgeous woman who are. Im simply stating whatim doing is right.im being clear of what iwant and not hurting any1inthd process.

vivian2981's photo
Sat 08/06/11 12:51 PM






I don't see her as being obsessed, she's straight up about who she is and what she wants, just like you are being. If more people were this way it would make life a lot more pleasant.


one person's obsession is another's trivial pursuit

to advertise in a public forum to the extent that she has not only lacks taste and discretion, it IS obssesive-like in my book


im noht obsesd. Iköwhat iwant and im going for it.and besides this is a dating site where you can date people,where u can find what your looking for in a partner. Im being straight forward honest not playin games and wastn peopls time.some people only want casual sex,some want permanent relations and other want penpals. This is a dating site of course i should be clear what iwant.idont want casual sex with strangrs.iwant a husband a lifetime partner with children.and im not a lesbian and i have nothing againsthe gorgeous woman who are. Im simply stating whatim doing is right.im being clear of what iwant and not hurting any1inthd process.


Good for you...good luck!

burgundybry's photo
Sat 08/06/11 12:56 PM

:smile: I have been following this with some interest.
I agree with mg...the op is being as honest and forthright as she can be. She's not placing an ad for illicit sex..or to become a 'cougar'. She is not from America, so her outlook is different than ours. She is aware of what she wants, she has waited for it to happen and is willing to put herself out there to make it happen. It's refreshing. She's not jaded like we have become. I say "Good Luck" !!


Right on, Viv!:thumbsup:

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Sat 08/06/11 12:57 PM
girl i would tell you to ask vivian for advise, but i think vivian is more into catch and release (ala liz taylor)

oops offtopic

Shy_Emo_chick's photo
Sat 08/06/11 12:59 PM
I think it's only natural that people may have thought it could have been a scam at first, as scams are always over-enthuiastic. I admit i thought it was at first, but she's explained herself, so i won't judge. This may explain why some of the so-called "catches" from the forums don't ever get women chasing them-Said "catch" has sent them emails, but what sort of things are said in those emails? Maybe it's just from experience from me thinking a guy was sweet enough in the forums, but then some started emailing me, and it's a shame we can't post what they type in their emails to us, as it would help show that people aren't who they seem, on public forums. In person, some switch and are callous. So i guess you see people wearing their "game" faces on here as well as in bars. It can be who you know, at times. :shrug: Maybe i don't want to talk to whoever in the forums cos i know what they're like in private. Doesn't take Einstein to know such things occur.

vivian2981's photo
Sat 08/06/11 01:01 PM

girl i would tell you to ask vivian for advise, but i think vivian is more into catch and release (ala liz taylor)

oops offtopic


tongue2 It's not my fault.

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Sat 08/06/11 04:05 PM

I think it's only natural that people may have thought it could have been a scam at first, as scams are always over-enthuiastic. I admit i thought it was at first, but she's explained herself, so i won't judge. This may explain why some of the so-called "catches" from the forums don't ever get women chasing them-Said "catch" has sent them emails, but what sort of things are said in those emails? Maybe it's just from experience from me thinking a guy was sweet enough in the forums, but then some started emailing me, and it's a shame we can't post what they type in their emails to us, as it would help show that people aren't who they seem, on public forums. In person, some switch and are callous. So i guess you see people wearing their "game" faces on here as well as in bars. It can be who you know, at times. :shrug: Maybe i don't want to talk to whoever in the forums cos i know what they're like in private. Doesn't take Einstein to know such things occur.



This is a good post and very true. Another reason why I like mingle as sort of a buffer before anything happens in public. I being a victim of fatal attractions before like getting the chance to have this safety wall built between me and someone else. It allows me to see a lot more of the person before I would take the jump of "in person". In many ways to me mingle is that casual meeting place.

thanks, good post

kaliman1's photo
Sun 08/07/11 10:49 AM
hinoway

Niceladyrealy's photo
Sun 08/07/11 12:44 PM


I live in south africand am willing to relocate anywhere inthe world. Im looking for a kind gentle smart compasionate loving supportive husband that might consider to have children with me within the next four years.


Most of what I've seen you post here is about wanting a husband. Why not try to get to know people first, then see what happens?
i thought to find out which guys are interestd in mariage and kids and geto know them and c if we are comptbl. Idont wanto fal inlove with a guy that never wanto get maried or hav kids. So now i date only guys that wants mariage and a familie.

Niceladyrealy's photo
Sun 08/07/11 12:56 PM

really ,is this true, is this a joke, na this isn't craigslist scam ,or is it, the jury still out on this one.
if you say one more time its a scam iwil report you2the mods. I am spending alot of time trying to find my prince charming and iwill not have you stand inmyway.besides who are you looking for a partner and then state u dont want sum1to take care of? Having a partner is2takecare of each other.

Niceladyrealy's photo
Sun 08/07/11 01:23 PM


I live in south africand am willing to relocate anywhere inthe world. Im looking for a kind gentle smart compasionate loving supportive husband that might consider to have children with me within the next four years.


I like that you are direct, but...
Pick a place and just GO there. Somehow. Some way. Make it happen. The husband & kids thing will follow if/when the universe (or God or whomever you believe in - including yourself) deems it right. Maybe it's now - but maybe you should "jump and grow your wings on the way down."
yes, and i hahve been waiting for a lohng time for god to send me mr perfect.and then i realized we mustop to wait4miracls from the sky and use the miracles god already has givn us2getwhat i want. Today i can be in bed texting on my celphone2thousands of peopl al ovr the world using my creative brain god has given me to go out and find my husband.we cant just sit and wait4god when god has already givn us what we need togive us what we want.

no photo
Sun 08/07/11 01:45 PM



I live in south africand am willing to relocate anywhere inthe world. Im looking for a kind gentle smart compasionate loving supportive husband that might consider to have children with me within the next four years.


I like that you are direct, but...
Pick a place and just GO there. Somehow. Some way. Make it happen. The husband & kids thing will follow if/when the universe (or God or whomever you believe in - including yourself) deems it right. Maybe it's now - but maybe you should "jump and grow your wings on the way down."
yes, and i hahve been waiting for a lohng time for god to send me mr perfect.and then i realized we mustop to wait4miracls from the sky and use the miracles god already has givn us2getwhat i want. Today i can be in bed texting on my celphone2thousands of peopl al ovr the world using my creative brain god has given me to go out and find my husband.we cant just sit and wait4god when god has already givn us what we need togive us what we want.


Way to go Nice! Now people should let your process of meeting people here begin. You have been very gracious toward those who do not know you. You have taken the time to be clear, clear again and clear some more. It's time for those who question you to question themselves.

As many have said up here, "good for you". You are a wonderful example of how to find the man of your dreams. And you will.

Don't forget, I get an invite to the wedding.

no photo
Sun 08/07/11 03:10 PM



I live in south africand am willing to relocate anywhere inthe world. Im looking for a kind gentle smart compasionate loving supportive husband that might consider to have children with me within the next four years.


Most of what I've seen you post here is about wanting a husband. Why not try to get to know people first, then see what happens?
i thought to find out which guys are interestd in mariage and kids and geto know them and c if we are comptbl. Idont wanto fal inlove with a guy that never wanto get maried or hav kids. So now i date only guys that wants mariage and a familie.


You've stated many times that you're willing to relocate anywhere. You've also said that you have no money. How do you plan on relocating for this husband you're looking for?

WolfEyez's photo
Sun 08/07/11 04:08 PM




I live in south africand am willing to relocate anywhere inthe world. Im looking for a kind gentle smart compasionate loving supportive husband that might consider to have children with me within the next four years.


Most of what I've seen you post here is about wanting a husband. Why not try to get to know people first, then see what happens?
i thought to find out which guys are interestd in mariage and kids and geto know them and c if we are comptbl. Idont wanto fal inlove with a guy that never wanto get maried or hav kids. So now i date only guys that wants mariage and a familie.


You've stated many times that you're willing to relocate anywhere. You've also said that you have no money. How do you plan on relocating for this husband you're looking for?


Sing, with all do respect I have not read anywhere where she stated that she had no money.

And I think I am starting to understand her point. She is doing what I'm doing. I want to date but I won't date just anyone. I won't date people who never want kids, or to get married. Even if it's one date I won't do it.

At the same time, I don't want to dive into anything serious right away. Nice has stated that she wants to date but she does not want to bother with anyone who does not want kids or marriage in the future.

I think everyone just needs to accept the fact that we all have different opinions, and personal preferences.

And I don't think the OP is a scammer. There was no mention of a bank. She didn't ask for money.

However, because I am a smart woman, I always keep one or two doubts in the back of my mind. There is a new scam out known as romance scams. So ... in conclusion ... I leave you with this website: romancescam.com

Niceladyrealy's photo
Sun 08/07/11 04:44 PM


I live in south africand am willing to relocate anywhere inthe world. Im looking for a kind gentle smart compasionate loving supportive husband that might consider to have children with me within the next four years.


I like that you are direct, but...
Pick a place and just GO there. Somehow. Some way. Make it happen. The husband & kids thing will follow if/when the universe (or God or whomever you believe in - including yourself) deems it right. Maybe it's now - but maybe you should "jump and grow your wings on the way down."
i did pick a place and wenthere im at mingle, its a perfect place4me2findmyhusband.i am not interested in a south african men and this is the country where im living now, they are boring and abusiv and treat woman like slaves.i prefer a husband from another country.mingle isthe only way i canget intouch with other countries,idont hav excesv funds2gotravel theworldtofind my princharming,hav2fhind him here on mingle.