Thank you very much!

"Why do you think they're not getting a "bite" because they're being open and honest?"

Basically I see that the US has some what of a higher "superficial code" to relationships that I don't see in many other countries that I visit. When I talk to both girl and guy friends here and I hear them talk about meeting someone, they talk one way when talking to me about it, and when they are out in a crowd a game face comes on and they talk as if they were a completely different person "their dating game face".

I've referred to the "2 week hustle" before. That's when people meet wearing their dating game face start seeing each other based on that face and about 2 weeks later stop communicating. In my field of work I call this "burn in". It's the time it takes something to settle before you can see the real picture of the vibrations. In the US we are so use to seeing people with their DGF on that when we hear someone that is past that we judge them as desperate or being to forward. But I say why would we want to stay in DGF longer than we absolutely have to. In fact why wear it at all?

This is no joke, both of my wives said to me "I want you" right from day one. They were honest sincere and got what they wanted. If either one of them would have done the "let me get to know you over drinks" thing we never would have been together. Let me tell you ladies what meeting over drinks means to most guys. The game is on. I'm walking into a meat market to meet meat and if that doesn't work there are plenty of other pieces to look at while I'm here. Women (I don't know) could maybe have a bar where just only women meet. Men have Clubs. Clubs to men are places where we don't think about women (unless it's a strip club). Their bigger versions of a man cave. Mixed bars are meat markets. You meet a man in a bar and the chances are slim that you are going to see him in the real light of who he is, unless he "is" a bar fly. The light is dim the music is playing and there are more sexual vibes floating around the place than a well covered bathroom stall wall. After 2 drinks things start taking on that diferent look. Let me ask myself. Michael, have you ever hung out in a bar and not got laid? No never, unless I had so many numbers that I couldn't decide who. Or unless the bar was in Ohio (sorry an inside joke). Now I consider myself a pretty nice guy and if I'm telling you that this is what I thought and did you can guess what the guys that are not so gentlemanly are thinking. And let me add, even if a guy you are with is not thinking these thoughts most of the other guys are and if you are hot are checking you out, which for most guys creates a whole new issue.

I girl asks me out to a bar to get to know her and I tell her I already do, no thanks or in my wild days cleaned my sheets and made sure there were matches by the candles and my choice of music on the stereo before I went out.

The guys I see on here that are great husband material might meet at a bar but they would take the time to let you know how bars work before you went and tell you that there may be better ways to get to know them, unless you and they are both partiers. Partiers have their own rules. The guys up here that are good husband material shoot very straight with their answers. They from what I have seen have intellect with a mix of humor. And quite frankly I am shocked that they have not been snatched with all the women that say they are looking.

Yes, I do think that straight up honest and open guys do get over looked. I get a kick out of it when I see another nice guy thread as if they are not here. Hello, again my hat is off to nicelady for being upfront. Who knows she might even have her man by now.

"Why do you think they're not getting a "bite" because they're being open and honest?"

Basically I see that the US has some what of a higher "superficial code" to relationships that I don't see in many other countries that I visit. When I talk to both girl and guy friends here and I hear them talk about meeting someone, they talk one way when talking to me about it, and when they are out in a crowd a game face comes on and they talk as if they were a completely different person "their dating game face".

I've referred to the "2 week hustle" before. That's when people meet wearing their dating game face start seeing each other based on that face and about 2 weeks later stop communicating. In my field of work I call this "burn in". It's the time it takes something to settle before you can see the real picture of the vibrations. In the US we are so use to seeing people with their DGF on that when we hear someone that is past that we judge them as desperate or being to forward. But I say why would we want to stay in DGF longer than we absolutely have to. In fact why wear it at all?

This is no joke, both of my wives said to me "I want you" right from day one. They were honest sincere and got what they wanted. If either one of them would have done the "let me get to know you over drinks" thing we never would have been together. Let me tell you ladies what meeting over drinks means to most guys. The game is on. I'm walking into a meat market to meet meat and if that doesn't work there are plenty of other pieces to look at while I'm here. Women (I don't know) could maybe have a bar where just only women meet. Men have Clubs. Clubs to men are places where we don't think about women (unless it's a strip club). Their bigger versions of a man cave. Mixed bars are meat markets. You meet a man in a bar and the chances are slim that you are going to see him in the real light of who he is, unless he "is" a bar fly. The light is dim the music is playing and there are more sexual vibes floating around the place than a well covered bathroom stall wall. After 2 drinks things start taking on that diferent look. Let me ask myself. Michael, have you ever hung out in a bar and not got laid? No never, unless I had so many numbers that I couldn't decide who. Or unless the bar was in Ohio (sorry an inside joke). Now I consider myself a pretty nice guy and if I'm telling you that this is what I thought and did you can guess what the guys that are not so gentlemanly are thinking. And let me add, even if a guy you are with is not thinking these thoughts most of the other guys are and if you are hot are checking you out, which for most guys creates a whole new issue.

I girl asks me out to a bar to get to know her and I tell her I already do, no thanks or in my wild days cleaned my sheets and made sure there were matches by the candles and my choice of music on the stereo before I went out.

The guys I see on here that are great husband material might meet at a bar but they would take the time to let you know how bars work before you went and tell you that there may be better ways to get to know them, unless you and they are both partiers. Partiers have their own rules. The guys up here that are good husband material shoot very straight with their answers. They from what I have seen have intellect with a mix of humor. And quite frankly I am shocked that they have not been snatched with all the women that say they are looking.

Yes, I do think that straight up honest and open guys do get over looked. I get a kick out of it when I see another nice guy thread as if they are not here. Hello, again my hat is off to nicelady for being upfront. Who knows she might even have her man by now.

"Why do you think they're not getting a "bite" because they're being open and honest?"

Who knows she might even have her man by now.

You seemed to have been out with many women who weren't themselves when you met. At least that's what I've gotten from what you've said here. Just because some women are like that, it doesn't mean all will be like that. I act no differently in the first 2 weeks of dating than I would later on.



You have a low opinion of women who go to bars. I'm guessing that's because you said you always got laid at bars. Do you think all women at bars are as easy as the women you went for? Is that what the issue is?



YOu haven't given much information on the men you're talking about. What is great husband material?

I'm not too paranoid about meeting people at a bar for a drink. It gives us a chance to sit and chat a bit. Most places around here have live music of some sort during the week or on the weekend as well. So, that's another plus. It doesn't work for everyone and that's cool. And if someone doesn't want to do that, I have no problem with it. I'm not going to look down on them just because that's not what they wanted to do.

One day, maybe you'll realize that not all women who step into a bar are like the one's you've dealt with in the past.

Hi Sweet,

In my statements there was a little of me but a lot of my friends sharing their experiences too.

Yes, it has been mine and my friends experience that the bar scene is a meat market. Even my girls that go to a bar with me have fun looking at guys trying to pick up girls and girls sitting there to be picked up. Even though there are other actives going on much of it is focused on the "bar shuffle".

I'm not sure if it is a low opinion as much as it is a predictable one. Almost all guys have a low opinion of bar girls. If you heard their talk to each other before going you might be shocked. Getting laid was never one of my goals in life but when you have a little wine and there are 30 girls hitting on you, well you get the rest of the picture. I'm sure this is different for everyone, but a bar is not someplace I would volunteer to meet someone. In fact I would only go to a bar if I knew that me and her were just going to be friends.

I'd be happy to give more info on good husband material. Any time I can be a part of good people hooking up I'm hip. Want me to start a thread on this?

"One day, maybe you'll realize that not all women who step into a bar are like the one's you've dealt with in the past."

A little over stated. I'm probably one of the most opened minded people on this forum most would tell you. But at this same time I appreciate your thoughts.

So basically you are, or were, the bar fly that you're turned off by now. What you've been saying says just as much about yourself as it does about the women you're not into anymore. I can understand why you're not into bars now, though.

We all have different preferences.

Let me know if you wouldnt mind getting with someone my age! (: i wouldn't mind being your husBand hun