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| Topic: Communicating With The Uncommunicative | |
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One of my ex's favorite ways to get me to talk when I didn't want to talk was just go out of her way to piss me off. I have tried this with working with residents and it didn't work well for me. I was wondering if others have better ways of dealing with the uncommunicative to try to get them out of their shell of if you as a person would just rather them to stay in the shell.
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Who are we to try and change somebody else?
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Actually, I've been in work situations where a coworker or employee would hide in a shell of silence. Because no one really knew the person, and only knew the person's actions, people would become very uncomfortable around this worker.
So, my method was to slowly open communication by asking for an opinion or advice with something. That way the person felt respected. Then I would follow through with some of the advice to help build trust. Eventually, I would learn snippets of info about the person through ultra-brief conversation as the person would open up a tiny bit. From that, I would learn what really interested the person. In the end, I could find a common interest that got the person to come completely out the shell and talk openly. Only after I did that would the person open up to others, and even then only to people that earned respect first. It works, but it takes time. Sometimes a person just wants to be left alone, but other times the person just feels looked down upon. Either way, trust has to be built. That doesn't happen overnight. |
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Who are we to try and change somebody else? Good question and it answers itself for me. 
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Edited by
msharmony
on
Thu 07/21/11 02:26 PM
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One of my ex's favorite ways to get me to talk when I didn't want to talk was just go out of her way to piss me off. I have tried this with working with residents and it didn't work well for me. I was wondering if others have better ways of dealing with the uncommunicative to try to get them out of their shell of if you as a person would just rather them to stay in the shell. when someone shows you who they are ...believe them if they dont wish to talk, why should they have to? and then there are those who play cat and mouse games and pretend not to want to talk so that you will worry and work harder to get their attention probably best to ignore them too,, lol |
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Actually, I've been in work situations where a coworker or employee would hide in a shell of silence. Because no one really knew the person, and only knew the person's actions, people would become very uncomfortable around this worker. So, my method was to slowly open communication by asking for an opinion or advice with something. That way the person felt respected. Then I would follow through with some of the advice to help build trust. Eventually, I would learn snippets of info about the person through ultra-brief conversation as the person would open up a tiny bit. From that, I would learn what really interested the person. In the end, I could find a common interest that got the person to come completely out the shell and talk openly. Only after I did that would the person open up to others, and even then only to people that earned respect first. It works, but it takes time. Sometimes a person just wants to be left alone, but other times the person just feels looked down upon. Either way, trust has to be built. That doesn't happen overnight. Good advice. And I have had to do that to try to help residents and workers at work. It is a good friendship technique. Thanks for responding.
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One of my ex's favorite ways to get me to talk when I didn't want to talk was just go out of her way to piss me off. I have tried this with working with residents and it didn't work well for me. I was wondering if others have better ways of dealing with the uncommunicative to try to get them out of their shell of if you as a person would just rather them to stay in the shell. when someone shows you who they are ...believe them if they dont wish to talk, why should they have to? and then there are those who play cat and mouse games and pretend not to want to talk so that you will worry and work harder to get their attention probably best to ignore them too,, lol I have noticed these actions of residents at work. We just had a CNA meeting after the regular in-service. We have communicated to the RN supervisor that we have bills to pay and that we feel that we have already earned our check and need to take of our families like we do the residents. Because of that we have had faster communicative meetings. We feel that our time is valuable, too. It was a nice vacation. Too bad I had to go back to work.
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One of my ex's favorite ways to get me to talk when I didn't want to talk was just go out of her way to piss me off. I have tried this with working with residents and it didn't work well for me. I was wondering if others have better ways of dealing with the uncommunicative to try to get them out of their shell of if you as a person would just rather them to stay in the shell. 
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People withdraw into a shell for a reason.
Find the reason. |
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Laughter is good medicine and I try to use it at work as well in a lot of places. I have been told that some people don't understand my humor but trying to explain it some times to those who don't understand it has been a challenge sometimes.
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People withdraw into a shell for a reason. Find the reason. Good one. Sometimes I have had to ask before just a simple, "Is something wrong or troubling you and if there is is there some way I can help?" I have gotten fast answers with that question. Some answers though haven't always been so nice.
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Are there ways that you have found to be less intimidating? I have had to work on being less intimidating in my work.
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The intimidating factor is a constant struggle for me. In a restaurant kitchen, sometimes being a d**k is the only way to get someone to just listen and do. It's not something I like. On the other hand, I also tend to feel strongly about a number of beliefs. I can come off too strong, whether it be emotion or just stress. That's when I need to have time to step back, take a deep breath, clear my head, and approach things from a different angle or tact.
Problem is, I'm not always given the time to do so. That's why I often tell people when I'm upset or angry, the best thing to do is leave me alone: I'll eventually calm down, and then be able to speak rationally. Most people don't listen though. |
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The intimidating factor is a constant struggle for me. In a restaurant kitchen, sometimes being a d**k is the only way to get someone to just listen and do. It's not something I like. On the other hand, I also tend to feel strongly about a number of beliefs. I can come off too strong, whether it be emotion or just stress. That's when I need to have time to step back, take a deep breath, clear my head, and approach things from a different angle or tact. Problem is, I'm not always given the time to do so. That's why I often tell people when I'm upset or angry, the best thing to do is leave me alone: I'll eventually calm down, and then be able to speak rationally. Most people don't listen though. That is one nice thing I have found out about working with the Alzheimer in my unit. They will give you a second chance. All I have to do is walk out of the room and it is like I am talking to someone new. And I get a lot of second opinions that way. |
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It is disturbing though at times when you come back to talk to people and you say lets start over and they say what?
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if they dont wish to talk, why should they have to? Yes. |
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adjust their neurotransmitters?
 Fluoxetine (also known by the tradenames Prozac, Sarafem, Fontex) is an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class. It is manufactured and marketed by Eli Lilly and Company. In combination with olanzapine it is known as Symbyax. Fluoxetine is approved for the treatment of major depression (including pediatric depression), obsessive-compulsive disorder (in both adult and pediatric populations), bulimia nervosa, panic disorder and premenstrual dysphoric disorder.[1] Despite the availability of newer agents, fluoxetine remains extremely popular. Over 22.2 million prescriptions for generic formulations of fluoxetine were filled in the United States in 2007,[2] making it the third most prescribed antidepressant after sertraline (SSRI that became generic in 2006) and escitalopram (non-generic SSRI).[2][3]
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if they dont wish to talk, why should they have to? Yes. I can see your point there. I chose anti-socialistic behavior at one time.
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adjust their neurotransmitters? Fluoxetine (also known by the tradenames Prozac, Sarafem, Fontex) is an antidepressant of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) class. It is manufactured and marketed by Eli Lilly and Company. In combination with olanzapine it is known as Symbyax. Fluoxetine is approved for the treatment of major depression (including pediatric depression), obsessive-compulsive disorder (in both adult and pediatric populations), bulimia nervosa, panic disorder and premenstrual dysphoric disorder.[1] Despite the availability of newer agents, fluoxetine remains extremely popular. Over 22.2 million prescriptions for generic formulations of fluoxetine were filled in the United States in 2007,[2] making it the third most prescribed antidepressant after sertraline (SSRI that became generic in 2006) and escitalopram (non-generic SSRI).[2][3] Yeah. The ex got addicted to Prozac at one time. Of course trying to quit it became depressing. I have noticed a lot of stuff commercialized as far as narcotics side effects has become big business for lawyers on television. At one time the FDA was more concerned about the side effects of medications but I can understand how it could be counter-capitalistic. |
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If your a boss sometimes it's helpful to take a course in body language. It helps you when you need to read someone. Sometimes it's not what you say that speaks but what you do. All depends on the other person and trying to see things through their eyes.
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