Topic: Social Anxiety Disorder - How Do You Meet People?
Ky4giraffe's photo
Tue 06/21/11 08:46 PM
I have social anxiety disorder. I was formally diagnosed not even a year ago but I always knew I had it. I'm not taking anything for it because I don't like taking meds everyday.
Anyways, fellow S.A.D. people, how do you meet people?
I go to school but I have a hard time just going up and randomly talking to people, even just participating in class makes my heart race and gives me a puky feeling.
Any advice?

74Drew's photo
Tue 06/21/11 11:39 PM

I have social anxiety disorder. I was formally diagnosed not even a year ago but I always knew I had it. I'm not taking anything for it because I don't like taking meds everyday.
Anyways, fellow S.A.D. people, how do you meet people?
I go to school but I have a hard time just going up and randomly talking to people, even just participating in class makes my heart race and gives me a puky feeling.
Any advice?

definitely feel you on this one. find something that you like to do that's a social type activity and force yourself to do it. for me, i like karaoke, so i found a place and even though i didn't know anybody i forced myself to get up and sing a song. then i started doing it regularly. eventually most of the anxiety went away. i don't think it ever all goes away. i still won't approach a girl though.



. . .

Totage's photo
Wed 06/22/11 12:05 AM

I have social anxiety disorder. I was formally diagnosed not even a year ago but I always knew I had it. I'm not taking anything for it because I don't like taking meds everyday.
Anyways, fellow S.A.D. people, how do you meet people?
I go to school but I have a hard time just going up and randomly talking to people, even just participating in class makes my heart race and gives me a puky feeling.
Any advice?


I have high anxiety, I just take things a little at a time. At first I do avoid physical contact, but as things progress, I do make attempts to be more open. I'm upfront about my issues as well. I can come off as uninterested and cold, but I let them know why that is. Try to get out of your comfort zone a little at a time, don't jump into the deep end though, just take it a little at a time, as much as you can handle.

no photo
Wed 06/22/11 11:13 AM
I think it's best to take it slowly with something like this. Don't let any dr or therapist force you into getting better before you're ready to. As i know it can happen.

Teditis's photo
Wed 06/22/11 11:15 AM

I have social anxiety disorder. I was formally diagnosed not even a year ago but I always knew I had it. I'm not taking anything for it because I don't like taking meds everyday.
Anyways, fellow S.A.D. people, how do you meet people?
I go to school but I have a hard time just going up and randomly talking to people, even just participating in class makes my heart race and gives me a puky feeling.
Any advice?

No advice... but hope good things for you. flowerforyou

no photo
Wed 06/22/11 12:43 PM
I always say. In my life, people come, and people go.

I have never approaced anybody in my life. But I have more friends, then anybody.

And these days, just as many female friends.

I talk to people, if I have a question to ask them about something. Or if I'm helping them with a problem of their own.

Do I suffer from anxiety? Yes, I do, quiet a lot. The more comfortable, that I feel, with people I know, the much more better, I am.

I hope you feel better in time! happy flowerforyou

misty_57's photo
Wed 06/22/11 01:07 PM
Have you tried social anxiety forums?

lalalove's photo
Wed 06/22/11 03:08 PM
i think what you are doing now is a good step..get out there any way you feel comfortable (basically i agree with totage) :)

Ky4giraffe's photo
Wed 06/22/11 08:24 PM
Thank you everyone.
May 2010 I graduated from High School and I lost all my high school friends.
I am now in college but I feel awkward randomly talking to people, or well talking at all.
My first semester was spring 2010 and I did make two friends, however, one is no longer going to my school and the other one I don't talk to out of class.
I go crazy without talking to people, I seriously feel like my social skills are just dropping.
I would love to make good friendships but have no idea how to even begin! I ended up befriending the first two people because they happened to sit next to me and are both social people.

no photo
Thu 06/23/11 06:09 AM

Thank you everyone.
May 2010 I graduated from High School and I lost all my high school friends.
I am now in college but I feel awkward randomly talking to people, or well talking at all.
My first semester was spring 2010 and I did make two friends, however, one is no longer going to my school and the other one I don't talk to out of class.
I go crazy without talking to people, I seriously feel like my social skills are just dropping.
I would love to make good friendships but have no idea how to even begin! I ended up befriending the first two people because they happened to sit next to me and are both social people.


Sorry to hear that :(

When I left high school, I had the exact same problem. All my friends moved on, and I was left alone.

I always seem to make a friend or two whereever I go. But they always end up going away.

Do you have any brothers, or sisters to talk too?

I make a habit of talking to my brother everyday, he's as good as any friend. But the best thing is, he's there every minite, of every day for me.

I also go out shopping with him everyday, and that's also good.

I know it's not quiet the same thing. But if you ever want to talk to me, then message me, and I will get back to you happy flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 06/23/11 09:46 AM
Edited by Bushidobillyclub on Thu 06/23/11 09:53 AM
The plasticity of the brain allows for progressive changes to the anxiety responses often felt in low impact social disorders.

It is like any other fear, you must work to desensitize the fear.

I myself went from being as shy as someone could imagine to being completely care free and even went to college for acting/theater and stage performance.

Lots of consistent baby steps. However if you do not push the so called envelope and actually induce the anxiety response then you will not actually make progress. The caveat is that you want to induce the response, but on a low end of the scale, keep doing so until the response barely occurs with that same stimulus and then slowly ramp up the pressure to induce the response again. You slowly increase the level of stimulus until really no amount of stimulus induces the response.

One way to induce social stress that allows you to speak to strangers is to use a socially acceptable way to engage people, that way the stress response is low, but enough to induce a small amount of anxiety.

Some say you should take public speaking classes. I think that is probably a moderate stimulus however for someone who has a problem in such regards.

I remember gaining confidence by doing survey work. You create a small questionnaire, with just 4-5 questions something anyone can complete in 2-3 minutes of there time and you grab a clip board and go to small public gatherings of people. You only engage 1-2 people at a time so the pressure is low, you explain you have a survey that legitimizes the interaction putting low amounts of stress on you, you have a script to read from reducing the stress of misspeaking, all in all it allows you to create a ritual that is easy quick and low stress.

The best part is if you actually have a social science class, you can really do good work and feel proud of the survey work you do which also tends to help you reinforce the good behind your progress.

soufiehere's photo
Thu 06/23/11 10:57 AM
Mingle2 is quite the support group
for socializing with people.
You are doing fine so far, enjoy :-)

Sharris's photo
Fri 06/24/11 09:26 AM

Mingle2 is quite the support group
for socializing with people.
You are doing fine so far, enjoy :-)

I agree.