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Topic: Asexuality
Totage's photo
Mon 06/06/11 06:09 PM

Overview
An asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. Unlike celibacy, which people choose, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who we are. Asexuality does not make our lives any worse or any better, we just face a different set of challenges than most sexual people. There is considerable diversity among the asexual community; each asexual person experiences things like relationships, attraction, and arousal somewhat differently. Asexuality is just beginning to be the subject of scientific research.

Relationships
Asexual people have the same emotional needs as anyone else, and like in the sexual community we vary widely in how we fulfill those needs. Some asexual people are happier on their own, others are happiest with a group of close friends. Other asexual people have a desire to form more intimate romantic relationships, and will date and seek long-term partnerships. Asexual people are just as likely to date sexual people as we are to date each other.

Sexual or nonsexual, all relationships are made up of the same basic stuff. Communication, closeness, fun, humor, excitement and trust all happen just as much in sexual relationships as in nonsexual ones. Unlike sexual people, asexual people are given few expectations about the way that our intimate relationships will work. Figuring out how to flirt, to be intimate, or to be monogamous in a nonsexual relationships can be challenging, but free of sexual expectations we can form relationships in ways that are grounded in our individual needs and desires.

Attraction
Many asexual people experience attraction, but we feel no need to act out that attraction sexually. Instead we feel a desire to get to know someone, to get close to them in whatever way works best for us. Asexual people who experience attraction will often be attracted to a particular gender, and will identify as lesbian, gay, bi, or straight.

Arousal
For some sexual arousal is a fairly regular occurrence, though it is not associated with a desire to find a sexual partner or partners. Some will occasionally masturbate, but feel no desire for partnered sexuality. Other asexual people experience little or no arousal. Because we don’t care about sex, asexual people generally do not see a lack of sexual arousal as a problem to be corrected, and focus their energy on enjoying other types of arousal and pleasure.

Note: People do not need sexual arousal to be healthy, but in a minority of cases a lack of arousal can be the symptom of a more serious medical condition. If you do not experience sexual arousal or if you suddenly lose interest in sex you should probably check with a doctor just to be safe.

Identity
Most people on AVEN have been asexual for our entire lives. Just as people will rarely and unexpectedly go from being straight to gay, asexual people will rarely and unexpectedly become sexual or vice versa. Another small minority will think of themselves as asexual for a brief period of time while exploring and questioning their own sexuality.

There is no litmus test to determine if someone is asexual. Asexuality is like any other identity- at its core, it’s just a word that people use to help figure themselves out. If at any point someone finds the word asexual useful to describe themselves, we encourage them to use it for as long as it makes sense to do so.

http://www.asexuality.org/home/overview.html

What do you think?

FearandLoathing's photo
Mon 06/06/11 06:15 PM
I've been told I'm asexual, I'm indifferent...Couldn't really care either way, honestly.

The way I see it, who cares? Unless it directly affects you personally, no point in wondering what is over the hill if you will never actually be on the other side.

Totage's photo
Mon 06/06/11 06:18 PM
I wonder if I am asexual. I want to say that I am so that I can feel like I belong somewhere, but I'm not sure if it's just because I feel misplaced, or if I actually am asexual. I do find it interesting though.

msharmony's photo
Mon 06/06/11 06:56 PM
hmmmm

asexual, devoid of sexuality

sexuality, c : expression of sexual receptivity or interest


Id think being asexual is neither good nor bad

kind of like not being 'christian'

different people find spirituality in different ways, likewise people find fulfillment and intimacy in different ways

and I firmly believe not everyone has a need for sex to be a part of that...



no photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:04 PM
WHAT???noway surprised

Totage's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:17 PM

different people find spirituality in different ways, likewise people find fulfillment and intimacy in different ways

and I firmly believe not everyone has a need for sex to be a part of that...





I agree.

no photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:17 PM

What do you think?


I think this has celibate, and asexual confused.

I think asexual has more to do with not having the proper organs, than it does with being, (as mentioned) celibate.

Totage's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:19 PM


What do you think?


I think this has celibate, and asexual confused.

I think asexual has more to do with not having the proper organs, than it does with being, (as mentioned) celibate.


I think that's a different asexual.

markc48's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:20 PM
Well asexual and celibate women can leave me alone. Thanks in advance

lionsbrew's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:24 PM
I am if you put a space between A and sexual.laugh

Swimforrealsgirl's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:29 PM
Asexuality? Why? We're all going to the same place anyway....and as far as I know, NOBODY has gotten off this planet alive!!!

That's like starving to death and holding your breath because you can. ill

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:29 PM

WHAT???noway surprised


haha, I know, Im confused. it sayd they can be aroused through emotional attraction? I mean isnt that part of being aroused...if someone is a jerk im not turned on anyways, even if they have a "handsome" look.

Totage's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:32 PM
I think there's a difference between emotional attraction and sexual attraction.

vmr30's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:36 PM
I had heard people call themselves asexual before but didn't know what it meant. Thanks for sharing the information.

Ladylid2012's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:37 PM

I think there's a difference between emotional attraction and sexual attraction.


for women the emotional attraction is a big part of the arousal...
is what i think she is saying there


humuh's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:39 PM

Well asexual and celibate women can leave me alone. Thanks in advance
If all is well,organs,mind,health then why take a chance better they leave me alone too

donthatoneguy's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:42 PM

Asexuality? Why? We're all going to the same place anyway....and as far as I know, NOBODY has gotten off this planet alive!!!


Astronauts. ;) Most of 'em came back too.

FearandLoathing's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:47 PM

Asexuality? Why? We're all going to the same place anyway....and as far as I know, NOBODY has gotten off this planet alive!!!

That's like starving to death and holding your breath because you can. ill


Why not?

The same question applies and yet I'm still left thinking 'who gives a damn' I mean, it is my own life, my own choice and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Swimforrealsgirl's photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:48 PM


Asexuality? Why? We're all going to the same place anyway....and as far as I know, NOBODY has gotten off this planet alive!!!


Astronauts. ;) Most of 'em came back too.


Most people aren't intelligent enough to be astronauts. And eventually, they succumbed to "Natural Cause", or got a visit from the Grim Reaper-JUST like all theIR PREDECESSORS.think

no photo
Mon 06/06/11 07:48 PM


Asexuality? Why? We're all going to the same place anyway....and as far as I know, NOBODY has gotten off this planet alive!!!


Astronauts. ;) Most of 'em came back too.


WIN!

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