Lynx....you did well from the getgo...


I have a question for you....when you think of your past love....do you think kindly of her?...experience a portion of what was once overwhelming?...want only good things for her?

That's love...selfless love....you describe what you know to be real.


No expectations....no obligations...love without condition.


It's a really amazing gift, isn't it?

From the time I was 8 years old, I thought I was going to marry her. But I ruined that in high school because of age difference. She was in 8th grade when I was in 12th. I felt really bad about how I treated her over stupid high school bulls**t. I wanted to take her to my prom, but was afraid of how people would react. Point is, she was my best friend for so long....I knew her longer than almost everyone else. I always kicked myself for not sucking it up and just asking her. If I had done that, and she accepted....then it would have meant forgiveness for my previous stupidity. That's why I couldn't go to her wedding: because I would have told her all this.

After I graduated high school, her family constantly reminded me of the promise I made to her as a child. I had promised to marry her someday. They were using it to mock me, but I really did intend to marry her. She was all I ever wanted. I was the only one that thought she was pretty. She was 6 ft tall at age 14. She had a long, Roman nose and a flat chest. She was very smart (I helped tutor her when she was younger). We did everything together. In fact, I wouldn't be the same person today if not for the things I learned from her too. I should have taken her to the prom....it was the sacrifice that would have changed everything. And yet, to this day, she doesn't know I wanted to.

I get a little choked up thinking about it....But I now know I have to keep my silence. I thought about writing her, or emailing her. I thought about telling her parents. I can't do that. She's happy with her husband. She has two children now. She has her own pediatric practice. She's living her dream right now. It's what she always wanted. She decided she wanted to be a pediatrician by age 7. She enjoyed helping people, especially other kids. She always knew that she wanted a family soon after finishing med school too. I can't ruin that. Just like I couldn't ruin her wedding day. I finally made a sacrifice for her....and she doesn't even know I did it. But this sacrifice hurt more than the ones I shouldn't have passed over.

So yes, I do want good things for her. And if that means shoving a dagger in my heart so she can have them, then I have already done that for her. It hurts, but she is happy. I can survive....have survived. When I found out about her engagement, that was when I stopped dating for 10 years.

Now I have a new opportunity....one I wouldn't have had before....one I never expected....one that makes me feel the same things I did with Jennifer. Funny how life is like that.

It's kinda funny....I still remember Jen's birthday after all these years: January 3rd, 1975.

I can't believe I forgot to buy her a gift one year, but I had half of a container of Tic-Tacs in my pocket. So I gave her them. It was a stupid move, but I felt bad. I was only maybe 9 years old....I wanted to give her something.



I was such an idiot.

from diary of a mad black woman (actor shemar moore as Orlando)

Orlando: I'm just sittin' here, tryin' to think of a way to say this to you.
[pauses]
Orlando: I'm in love with you.
Helen: How do you know that?
Orlando: I don't know how to explain it to you.
Helen: Try.
Orlando: Helen, if I'm away from you for more than an hour, I can't stop thinking about you. I carry you in my spirit. I pray for you more than I pray for myself. I've got it so bad for you I'd... I'd go to the grocery store and buy your feminine products, I swear I would.
[Helen and Orlando laugh]
Orlando: And see? And that... that... That smile. Helen, when you smile like that, my world... It's all right.
[pauses]
Orlando: I am in love with you.



that sums it up for me,,,,lol

Yup. That's my present situation. Although I could explain more than that. It's just hard to sum up everything that goes into it.

A person can love someone for many things: beauty, intelligence, personality, and so on and so forth. I believe you truly love someone when you don't need to have a reason to love them.

It's finding your other half the person who you can relax with, you can curl up and not speak for hours but just be content because they are there.
Knowing that they need you as much as you need them, Being one but still seperate.
Having someone who can make you feel safe even if the world is falling down around you.
Its having someone to share your thoughts and dreams, your heartbreak and joy.
Being able to share your secrets without being judged,

For me it'shaving no doubts, no fear, No second thoughts, no worrying that he might be upset, no having to walk around on eggshells. Its just knowing that it's right.

How do you always do that???

You reach in my head, pull out all these confused thoughts and feelings and put them in a nice neat order anyone can understand. Are you reading my mind???

There no such thing as love :) love is just a word !!

Yeah - A 4 letter word too!!!

why jess, i had no idea. thanks

I just know it hurts like hell when they leave

i'm still here

My sister & I were summing this up after splitting from our SOs last year and came up with..."Love is the most uncomfortable feeling to have to endure, it makes you feel crazy, weak, and dumb!

Crazy I can handle...weak & dumb are feelings I dislike

Nah I'm unjumbling it, so I can understand it easier.

Lovaria

SYMPTOMS :-

1. The face keeps on coming in front of your eyes . Doesn't even vanish on closing your eyes. Your concentration breaks and you start thinking of the person suddenly in the middle of your work.

2. You go to bed , lay down , switch off the lights but sleep.... Oh!!! miles away................
And when it comes , brings with it dreams of someone you have been thinking all day.

3. When you feel that you can sacrifice your happiness for the other person's wish. When you start caring for someone more than yourself.

CURE :-

When you are in love , have the courage to say it . I know its difficult but not at all impossible. At least you will not repent few years hence thinking over it . May be you get rejected but if you really love someone it doesn't go in vain.By the way love is about happiness of the other person. You may have an urge for getting that person. But if you don't thats not the end of it. To see your loved one happy is also a satisfaction. Its easy to say although its tough to do.

When you see someone caring for emotions , sentiments and everything , be sure that she/he is in love with you.
Always love that person who loves you and don't run after someone whom you love.
If you really feel what love is... try to love a person who loves you.

Its really a gr8 feeling to fall in love my friend....

Love is like an orgasm.
If you have to ask if you
are having one, you're not.

Ha, be careful saying that, the idealists will eat you alive.

Very funny....!!!