Is it ok to be friends with married men if your married? i have had many online friends who r married but in real life is it ok or does the spouse think theres something more to the friendship?i am married i just want to have friends wheater they r men or women.but my husband feels women r trying to talk me into leaving him and he thinks im sleepin with the men so should i just give up on friendships?

I think that is up to the couple involved. My ex and I never had a jealousy or trust issues with the opposite sex. She never complained when I would golf or have lunch with a friend, nor would I have a problem with her with lunches or coffee. There is a line that can be crossed though, we never went there.

Not my place to tell you what to do Honey..that is your bridge to cross.

Personally, My very best friend is a married woman. I am friends with her husband too. I introduced them and was thier best man. The thing is, there i no trust issues and she and I often get a hotel room just to hang out, chit chat and catch u. She also sleeps in my bed and I have slept in hers. There is no sex involved and it is a friendship like it should be. No ulterior motives. Just love and apprecieation.

Sounds like your old man has the "Little dik" Syndrome. Those guys are insecure and view everything as a threat. From what I see...he doesn't want you to have man friends (fear of sex) and you aren't supposd to have women friends (fear that they don't like him)

So....you ain't supposed to have friends....of either sex.....

Sounds like solitary confinement and you are only supposed to talk to your prison guard.

Personally, I don't put up with anyone telling me what I can or cannot do. We are all adults and deserve some respect, faith, trust and a little bit of breathing space to be our own complete and whole person.

Friendships are the best way to go in my opinion. I have a lot of women friends. One of my women friends is giving me her extra eggs because her chickens are laying a lot of eggs. I have met some wonderful men friends through their wives. One of my women friends gave me a television which was okay with her husband because he didn't want to throw it away after they bought their new one and it is out of their way now. I got my boarder through a married man friend who had a extra woman in his house and I became the perfect solution because she needed some where to stay. I have taken some married women to my meetings and it makes it easier for the husbands since they don't have to leave the house. I get my trash taken away for free because his wife has me for a friend. It can work out.

Where I work it's mainly couples and they'll all friends with each other's spouses- they hang out after hours a lot- so it seems to work. I agree with Krupa, your husband has trust issues.

Two thoughts here, the first is when you are out with your male friends is there flirting between you? Some people look like they are flirting even if they do not think they are so you might want to ask someone else who does not know you very well if they think you flirt. That could be a reason for his jealousy.

The other idea is many people who start accusing their spouse of cheating are projecting their own feelings. The accuser might be thinking about cheating but is conflicted and so they take it out on their spouse by accusing them of doing the cheating instead.

Either way this is some thing that I would think that you two need to sit down and talk about, get it worked out before it boils over into something worse. Good Luck

^^this...give up on the man or you will never be happy! I have 2 bffs in my life & have had both of them for 20 yrs now. One is female and the other male (we have also been FWB at several points when we were younger). Neither of us are cheaters and are faithful to our mates and have never had any issues getting along with each others significant others. We still go out and catch up when I am back home & occasionally he comes up here and crashes for a weekend (with or without her). Those 2 friends will always be there regardless of whether I have a man or not so I'll be damned if a man thinks I'd ditch either one of them because he has insecurities!

NO WAY IN HELL, but JMO!

And there you go! I was asked by an ex to give up my friends....hence "the ex"....If someone shows a lack of trust in me, then they simply aren't worth the time. People that truly love you...trust you

You have to judge each situation on it own merit. People can really justify anything they want to justify if they really put a scenario to it. There just is no clear cut correct answer. My question is the friend just a friend that happens to have a pen~s? OR is he a friend because he has one? The physchological aspect says that while platonic friendships are normal and common place, that many, if given the opportunity, will develop into a sexual situation. It's not as if the individual has premeditated openly to having sex with another person, the subconsious has decided so. Are you having troubles in your marriage? Perhaps you are seeking something your relationship is lacking. I would look past whether or not it is technically "OK" The main thing you must ask yourself is why was this person sought out as a friend to begin with? What is it in this person you find appealing. Then you have to judge.
Good Luck

Welcome to the site.....but maybe there are no hidden agendas here...maybe she simply wants friends! I have several male friends and we would never even have a passing sexual thought of one another...we are more like brothers and sisters. People are people and I still say if they don't trust me...they need to go on down the road! My parents chose who my friends were as I grew up...now that I am a big girl, I can handle it all by myself!

Exactly. Most of my friends are men and there's no attraction either side.

there was a guy that i was talking to awhile back
which he plainly stated i was not allowed to talk to any of my old bf if he and i were to get together... you know he found someone else that allowed that. for i wasent going to kick them to the curb because of him.. and yea i have married friends
i have a old bf that i introduced to my bestfriend 26yrs ago
and she has no problem of me talking to her husband
i could talk to him for hours with no problem

I see no crime in that. You're just making friends.

Paranoia is a b****,

I don't think it's at all cut-and-dried. Everybody involved has to be fully informed and allowed in for it to work. There cannot be a hint of secrecy or deceit. Two of my very best friends are a married couple. I started work the same day as her 27 years ago. I fell instantly in love until I noticed her wedding ring. When I met her husband, it was a sure thing that we were going to be best friends. When I later married, I did everything I could to bind everybody together. Even then, there were some tensions between my wife and the other lady. It's not a simple thing.

I didnt hang out with men when I was married, unless we were out with other couples...altogether. I had a ton of female friends which ultimately led him to calling me a lezbien, for what its worth i shouldve just been hanging out with whomever I wanted. But out of respect to our marriage I avoided men. I think you two need to set a barrier amongst yourselves. Hanging out with another man consistently can and often leads to emotional connections you may not be prepared for. If your husband means the world to you and you love him with all your heart, you probably dont need to hang out with other men. .

why cant you go out on double dates and all have a good time?

Yes, it is.

I really don't see what the problem is; it would seem that two adults of the opposite sex would be capable of not jumping into bed with each other- only animals are so primal that they can't control "base urges." I can't imagine only having female friends, I get along with and have more in common with men than I do with women. You don't have the cattiness, the b!tchiness, the competitiveness, the constant talk of babies and children and other mundane crap that doesn't interest me in the slightest.

I work in an office made up of mainly women, and two guys. Who do I talk to the most? One of the guys, who happens to be married. Is there anything creepy or sexual about it? Um, no. He's not into me and I'm not into him and there will never be an issue. If I had a husband/bf who had a problem with that, that would be HIS problem, not mine.