My son is so much like his father, except i Love my son. How do I fix this because i am concerned about his adult life....

I am trying to raise him on my own. Since he is already so old when our divorce occurred I observe he has some traits that are not fond to the general human race....

He is a pre-teen right now so I still have hope...any advice?

what traits?

It is hard..I am trying to raise my 2 own my own.

He is just very nonchalant..passive agressive..sneaky..

That might be the age...Mine is 14 going on 23.

He does alot of crazy shitz.I would not worry to much.Cant be worse than mine.

Hahaha, thanks, my x was very bashful and nonchalant, which shrunk his balls, and turned him into a compulsive liar, because he never had the courage to stand up for anything...so whenever he did something wrong, he just lied about it...even little things, like eating too many candy bars...but all the white lies he got away with convinced him to lie about much bigger issues..

I am not saying my son is a compulsive liar....yet, however I want him to have the courage to admit when he is wrong..or the confidence to step in and do what is right, for ex. if someone is picking on someone else. .don't stand back and observe...have courage. Help out. He has too younger sisters but he is very non agressive...I also want him to have courage in his own doings too, like homework, hahahaha

I try to always encourage my children to be confident in their decisions and their goals even if they seem unattainable.I just hope they are listening.

nonchalant
passive agressive
sneaky

You have the makings of...

..a normal teenager.

They're all like that
AND THEY'RE NEVER, EVER WRONG!!!

Grrrr, you're scaring me...my first born, my precious lil angel, my wubby dubby--AAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH.

Not to say the wrong thing, especially about a child but, He could be a late bloomer and recently "discovered himself". If that is the case and you try to crowd him being motherly or inquisitive you will only alienate him further. Do a little investigative work when he isn't home. Look for adult materials or something he may be using to "assist" in the task. Look under the bathroom sink. Not just inside but inside and up. Look on the very top shelves where you keep the good linnens that are very rarely touched. Look inside his pillowcase. Inside any shoebox or toy box in the closet. Behind the dresser too.

Again, not trying to worry you or say the wrong thing. Atleast this way you can start eliminating things he could be up to. If this is it, PLEASE let him be.

I'm a big fan of passive-aggressive. It infuriates the aggressors, but it's a pretty good tactic. That's what Ghandi, MLK and ropa-dope were all about.

I don't mean to make a joke of your concerns. I don't believe in "The sins of the father are visited on the son", unless we're talking about brain mal-function.

My son is very sensitive, he is cuddly and sensitive to my needs. I just want him to be a little more secure in himself...more confidence. I tend to be a little overly aggressive, but I am also very observant..and cautious of one anothers feeling..I just want him to be a lil more courages and honest.

I'm getting a little nervous here. You're getting closer to describing me.

These are traits that can be channeled to your andvantage.

my daughter is 28
when she was 13 she was going on 20
when she was 13 many people thought she was my son mom or that she was in college

now sometimes im thinking she acting like 18 but then other times she acts way mature than she is

she has 3kids and another on the way

I dont want to mis-represent him....

My son is awesome, he has the kindest heart. I just worry about him...being too sensitive. And in no way is this statement to be reflected in a sexual orientation sense. Clearly meant to be as a sense of courage..amongst his peers. I just love the guy sooo much.

I got that. Isn't it odd that we should feel nervous about describing a boy as "sensitive" without worrying that we are saying he is gay?

Sexy Simone writes:

"My son is very sensitive, he is cuddly and sensitive to my needs. I just want him to be a little more secure in himself...more confidence. I tend to be a little overly aggressive, but I am also very observant..and cautious of one anothers feeling..I just want him to be a lil more courages and honest."

OK, so now we add sensitive to the list?

Sweetness, he is DEFINITELY a teenager. Have you seen a teenager when they get ...

...a...

...a...

pimple?

Oh my God, the world is coming to an end.

Shiki

P.S. The pic of you wearing the blue sweater is super hot. That should be your profile pic.

Babe, he's a normal teenager. Relax.

I dunno. I kinda like that little outfit she's wearing right now.

He is not a teenager, he is only ten. Which is one of my concerns because i am 5'10 my ex 6'4 and so naturally, my son is extremely tall for his age as are both my daughters. People tend to expect or require more out of them as well. My son looks like he's 14 at least.

I think this is why i worry about his confidence. I know he is still young. . but he is also very tall and mature looking.

--ARTLO-- yes you are correct. It is a shame, that i even had to mention that, because i will love my son no matter what he does in life....however i dont think that is even an issue with him...i just dont want readers thinking i may be concerned about whether or not my son is gay....it would be totally off topic on what I am actually discussing. haha

Jeez. You're taller than I am! I agree with all the people who think you should relax. Understood, it's your job to worry about your children. Take the view of objective people who can see the situation from outside your family.

{PS. I can't tell you how in awe I am of a single mom of 3).

-Art

So true, I need to take a chill pill for sure..

You know my book has a piece in it, about how advice is so easy to give but yet so much harder to take....such an azsbackwards mentality. I suffer from it as well....lol

Thanks for the compliment

? not following you here...