I like to think I've accomplished quite a bit and really turned my life around for the better, but it never seems good enough. I can't help but feel like I'm still failing, and I really don't know why. Because of this I'm constantly asking myself why I even bother trying, and it's like I have this little voice in the back of my head telling me that misery is all I'll ever know... Happiness is something I don't deserve. My phone never rings, people who claim to be my friends never seem to be there when I need them most.

Has anyone else ever felt like this? How do you deal with it? How do you wake up every day and deal with the feeling of being completely alone? How do you tell yourself it will get better? How do you make it better? How do you keep the will to live when you sometimes wonder if you're even supposed to?

I've come here because at this point I feel like I don't have anyone in my life I can talk to about this... I've posted on this board in the past and there are people here who honestly seem to care about others... I'm hoping this time is no different.

I feel like that all the time. I don't have much advice because I'm in the same boat and all I can say is just keep swimming - Dora on Finding Nemo. I just usually hope someday it will get better or I will be better off alone somehow. If you want to chat let me know.

Well, it sucks that you feel this way too. Knowing what I feel and think every day, I don't wish this on anyone. At the same time, though, it helps knowing that I'm not the only one (please don't take that the wrong way). It makes me think that because other people go through this, maybe there's someone out there that understands this enough that I may be able to talk to. Thanks for your honesty, thanks for the offer.

I wish I had a helpful answer for you. The fact is, I AM completely alone, and have been for quite some time now. I deal with it because there's really no other option.



I don't. I don't know if it will get better or not. I suppose the upside is that it can't really get any worse.



If I had any clue as to how to make it better, I would have done so long ago. The truth is, I haven't got any idea. Nothing I've tried has worked, so I stopped trying. I write books, and that's what I do, and that's enough.



I don't think in those terms. "Supposed to" never even enters into the equation. I'm here, there's no "supposed to."



There ARE people here who really do care about others -- I could tell you some personal stories to prove it. That's why I've been on this site for 4 years.

But on line and real life are two different things. And I've resigned myself to the idea that, in real life at least, I'm just going to have to accept being alone.

I feel like that right now.



I'm just gonna take a hot shower and go to bed.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.



Stay positive, we'll get through it. You're not alone!

On a side note I have no idea how you do that.... Showers wake me up... If you can sleep after a shower more power to you!

Also, thanks for reminding all of us that we're not alone.

When I got divorced 16 years age all the people that I called friends disappeared along with her. I thought if that's all they were then they weren't worth it. I still don't have any friends so I know how you feel.

I strongly believe in the law of attraction. One gets to attract the things that he/she thinks most. If one thinks he/she will fail, he/she almost certainly will. If one thinks he/she'd be miserable, he/she will be miserable in no time at all. But if one thinks of being happy in life, one will find the happiness right at his/her doorstep soon enough for him/her to enjoy life. Happiness and the people/things who will make us happy are everywhere around us all. Sometimes we only have to change our dispositions in life and we'll get to find out that what we're looking for is right with us. Everything that passes by in our lives has reasons for being there, we have to learn to be grateful we experienced them no matter what this brought us.

Please be happy as our Creator has given us everything that will lead us to be...you guys are not alone and has never been alone even once in your lifetime...

I don't think I will meet anyone but I don't think about being alone. I think that the only person that can make life worth living is me. I wake up everyday happy that I have my health, a home, food in my stomach, and a nice home to live in. Rather than be sad about being alone; I am happy with what life has to offer. We all need to deal with being alone in our own way. I keep myself busy and have joined a dozen different clubs just to get out and enjoy myself with the new friends I made. Like the Op; my so called friends don't call me which is why I am out meeting new friends.

@ OP:

I've felt like that before. I just try to keep my mind occupied with positive and constructive things. Positive thoughts tend to manifest in positive outcomes in life. Dale Carnegie and Napoleon Hill both emphasized positive thinking, so try that. Just my $.02.

There is much I want to say on this, but its hard to without getting too personal. Ive been there alone and hopeless and I am sure there are many out there that feel the same. I will tell you a story that may make me sound crazy, but I swear to you this is the truth. I do not do drugs nor do I even drink anymore nor did I drink during this time.

I was alone in the barracks, the walls were closing in on me. There was a heavy sick feeling in my gut. My brain felt light disconnected and the feeling of loneliness was so overwhelming that I cried in hopelessness and self pity. I don't know why but I got out of bed and knelt down in the middle of the room. It was like my body moved on its own volition. Nothing occupied my mind nothing in my thoughts or feelings I just knelt there unsure why and how I was there.

My mind, my soul, my spirit I don't which, but something inside me screamed and I jerked away and stumbled up. That's when I felt it the tendrils leaving my head and gut. It moved slowly I could feel it trying to move itself back into my head and stomach. I shrugged it off of me and looked at the empty space in front of me. I heard a hiss and it was gone.

I was only going to tell that in my experience I find that the feeling disappears when I am around people however I've kept this inside me too long. I know what people think of this sort of thing and I know what I felt that day. I wish there were easy answers in this world. My advice is to be around people talk to people in real life or in cyberspace. We were not meant to be alone in this world.

Many religious people will tell you we are not truly alone and there is truth in this, but we all ache for something more physical as well as spiritual. I wish you well in this world and hope you endure this journey called life...endure and share the wisdom and compassion you gain from this trial and time. You are not alone.

Cast not your pearls before swine lest they trample on it -Timothy

My best friend said the same things to me about the friends he had in his life. It was kind of funny when I saw that passage from the bible because his name is Tim...

SecretAsianMan75,

Thanks for your post. And there aren't enough thank yous in the world to show my appreciation for what you do for this country. I tried it and got a medical discharge, but if I could I'd be in that uniform too.

There were times when I wasn't always proud to wear that uniform. Power trips and politics can beat a man's pride down, but after living that life my heart will always be with the military especially the infantry. Ive been out for about 5 years now and that picture is about 6 years old. That's my best friend Tim in the middle there.

Most of the people I knew in the infantry came from broken homes, from broken lives. I wanted to do what I could for them and I feel as if I failed them somehow. I still remember their dreams and hopes they were such simple things love, family, friendship. Nothing grand, those dreams the dreams of the dead still haunt me. I still hear their voices sometimes they whisper to me to tell our story.

I need to write their stories and in doing so I need to cope with my own failings. It's not an easy thing to do to detach yourself and look at yourself through the eyes of others to see your faults, your vulnerability, and at times your pettiness. My old team leader said hello to me at the gym in Afghanistan. I was so full of vitriol and hate I just gave him a dirty look. He died a week later in one the villages on the Mazar Shariff. Thats the foolishness I have to deal with in telling their stories...my own failings as a man...

You are the captain of your ship.
You run it, no one else.
People can help you along the way,
but you man the controls.

Each day is new, different and in
your hands. It starts when you awaken.
It follows where you lead.

I have never felt hopeless.
Because it would mean I had no say
in my own life..that somehow it is
predetermined. The good and the bad.

EVERYone has both.
Everyone has the potential to change
what they do not like.
Aloneness, surroundings, friends, jobs,
all can be re-routed.
You need only to want to, bad enough.

The strangers you meet in here can
become friends. They do care.
Sometimes it is easier to emote with
a stranger than someone closer.

Identifying your issues is a first step.
The things you can speak of, tend to
fester less.

Of course it will get better.
It is in your hands.

Guess I was luck while serving as I was proud every day to wear the uniform and I am still proud to wear it. I came from a broken home too but the military quickly adapted me into their family. I think the strength I gained has made being alone alot easier to cope with.

I love the military, and I was proud to wear that uniform when I could. When I had those ACU's on I felt like I was complete, like I knew what I was supposed to do. It was the greatest experience of my life. I only regret that I couldn't stay in.

I agree. I don't feel complete now that I am not serving on a full time basis. Feel like I am missing a part of my life.

A therapist once told me I felt this way because as a child I was not given the opportunity to complete a task... so for example you graduate high school...well on to college...you finish college...well find a job...you find a job...so get a promotion...you get a promotion..so blah blah blah

Never feeling a sense of accomplishment because I was constantly pushed to achieve more.

This rang true for me. It didn't solve my problem. But it did provide some comfort and when I really feel hopelessly lost it helps me to remember to stop and look at what I have accomplished instead of dwelling on what I have yet to do.

Hope you can find some comfort in this as well....keep talking to people around you who provide encouragement..

**cliche warning**
Life is too short to spend it in regret and wanting. Be happy right now with what you have.

I feel like that sometimes too.
But we need to remember that God is always there and He will never fail nor disappoint us.
Now ,whenever I feel like that again I open my Bible in Jeremiah 29:11
you could try it too.

Don't lose hope

I have spent the last 8 months feeling exactly that. I'm slowly starting to come out of it though. Ive finally (for the most part)managed to sleep again after having months of insomnia.

I think time is the only way it can be fixed. For a while, I spent almost every day of the week drinking because I couldn't understand things I felt I NEEDED and DESERVED to know (life questions and things). I'm actually a bit embarrassed to be admitting to that but whatever. I, myself have very few friends and a lot of the times I feel like I can't even relate to them or vice verse. But they are always there if I need them.

I sometimes think I have the worst luck in the world. It always seem to be one thing after another... like I accomplish something only to have something bigger than my accomplishment go wrong.

I can't give you solutions but you can try the things I did. I learned I was too negative and did my best to think of one positive thought each morning. I also tried to talk to more positive people. Something that got me through my worst days was a line I repeated in my head constantly: "God will take care of me. I believe that." And if you believe, try it. It actually seemed to work and keep me above water.

When the weather was warm out, I decided to occupy my mind more so I stopped thinking as much. I started going to the park and walking trails. I did as much walking as I could... anything with scenery so I had something else to think about.

I started sleeping again after I repeatedly tried to sleep with music on (done it all my life but stopped the habit for 8 months). After I found the right cd to sleep too (usually slow and sad music .. lol) I was able to sleep again. Every now and then I have a bad night.

I also picked one really good friend and constantly vented and cried. I think in the long run it might have helped also since i tend to bottle things .. which was probably the reason why i stopped sleeping for so long.

It helps to have someone really cool to hang out with. For some unknown reason I became really close with this guy I've known off and on for years. We are strictly friends (for complicated reasons)but I know we like each other. He voluntarily cooks for me once a week, he takes me out to dinner and other places. And he never lets me pay for any of it. We share a lot of laughs and have some really awesome conversations. His company is helping me feel a whole of a lot better .. just knowing there's a guy I can really trust to not have a hidden agenda but actually likes to hangout with me .. makes me feel good. I hope you'll be able to find someone cool like that.

I do wish you and everyone else who is going through something similar .. the best. If anyone ever needs to talk .. just mail me. I'll write you back as soon as I get it.