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| Topic: teen daughter, has new bf, the pill or not? | |
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I think it is time to have another talk with her, ask her what she wants to do. Another thing I would suggest is to get a box of condoms for her, do you want to take the chance of the guy she is with to have an old expired condom that he has been carrying around in his wallet? I am sure you already have her set up with her own gyno? If not then this would be the time... Good Luck and remember that the best time to clean your guns is when her date is picking her up...lol |
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I think it is time to have another talk with her, ask her what she wants to do. Another thing I would suggest is to get a box of condoms for her, do you want to take the chance of the guy she is with to have an old expired condom that he has been carrying around in his wallet? I am sure you already have her set up with her own gyno? If not then this would be the time... Good Luck and remember that the best time to clean your guns is when her date is picking her up...lol LoL!...go back to when you were 15 or 16 |
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Edited by
s1owhand
on
Sat 03/05/11 03:45 AM
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my 15 yr old has a bf, her 1st proper bf, she sensible girl, and being a responsible dad i given the relationship sex talk yrs ago. so now i thinkin, is it time to put her on pill, any advice would be welcome, my eldest daughter says "yeah dad put er on it just in case".. Give her the talk again. Describe when and how one can make a good decision about becoming sexually active. Go over all the STDs one by one and how you can guard against each. Get her the Gardasil vaccine if you haven't already. Discuss the consequences of pregnancy and the biology of it. Then after all that let her know that you support her and will respect her decision when she is going to become sexually active and how much you want her to get off on the right foot in life and how much you want her to be safe and protected. That she should come to parents for help before she becomes sexually active. Thank goodness I don't have to deal with this for several more years... 
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Are you going to supply the bed too? I think IF you put your daughter on the pill, you are giving her permission to have sex. Just like when you buy your son's condoms...here go ahead and have sex, you are protected now.
You actually need to sit down and have a LONG talk with your daughter and do not promote having sex or putting her on the pill. Promote waiting UNTIL she is out of high school and she is with someone for a long time. I truly believe that parents think their child will have sex anyway so why not protect them....WHY NOT TALK TO THEM ABOUT WAITING. My Mom talked to us about waiting and every one of us were over 18. NO birth control pills!!!!! |
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Edited by
comptech1
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Sat 03/05/11 09:06 AM
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OK ,
I feel as I need to chime in again here . I do not want to sound like a bible thumping idiot but there are lots of very good reasons outlined in the bible why it is not a good idea to have sex before marriage. Not to mention (non biblical) rules of common- sense and self-dignity. Yes , even today people save themselves for marriage. Even in todays world Marriage is no guarantee that things will work out. Any marriage or relationship that is not based on the Word of God is doomed from the start. To have sex before marriage is like stealing something sacred from somebody. God wants to protect our hearts , not promote broken family's and broken hearts. Look around at all the teenage pregnancies , abortions , and suicide because of uneducated fly by night relationships. And where do the kids learn this behavior ? From you the parent . The parent who is broken hearted , alone, or in a dysfunctional relationship. But do not take all the blame , it seem society as a whole has lost it's moral values .. (so since everybody else is doing it , it must be ok ) No , just the opposite . This value system that society has adopted is destroying the human soul , one by one ... This is very serious stuff , I suggest you do some very serious soul searching before it's too late . |
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my 15 yr old has a bf, her 1st proper bf, she sensible girl, and being a responsible dad i given the relationship sex talk yrs ago. so now i thinkin, is it time to put her on pill, any advice would be welcome, my eldest daughter says "yeah dad put er on it just in case".. then u are wanting to give permission to be sexually active. I would ask her what she wants, and be prepared for just about anything as an answer you cannot force her to take the pill, but if that is the decision that you and she make together, that's another thing 15 seems quite young |
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OK , I feel as I need to chime in again here . I do not want to sound like a bible thumping idiot but there are lots of very good reasons outlined in the bible why it is not a good idea to have sex before marriage. Not to mention (non biblical) rules of common- sense and self-dignity. Yes , even today people save themselves for marriage. Even in todays world Marriage is no guarantee that things will work out. Any marriage or relationship that is not based on the Word of God is doomed from the start. To have sex before marriage is like stealing something sacred from somebody. God wants to protect our hearts , not promote broken family's and broken hearts. Look around at all the teenage pregnancies , abortions , and suicide because of uneducated fly by night relationships. And where do the kids learn this behavior ? From you the parent . The parent who is broken hearted , alone, or in a dysfunctional relationship. But do not take all the blame , it seem society as a whole has lost it's moral values .. (so since everybody else is doing it , it must be ok ) No , just the opposite . This value system that society has adopted is destroying the human soul , one by one ... This is very serious stuff , I suggest you do some very serious soul searching before it's too late . I like what you've said here.  |
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I think it is time to have another talk with her, ask her what she wants to do. Another thing I would suggest is to get a box of condoms for her, do you want to take the chance of the guy she is with to have an old expired condom that he has been carrying around in his wallet? I am sure you already have her set up with her own gyno? If not then this would be the time... Good Luck and remember that the best time to clean your guns is when her date is picking her up...lol LoL!...go back to when you were 15 or 16 |
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I think if I knew of a mother in my neighborhood who was providing condoms to CHILDREN under 18 I'd report that to authorities and my children would not be permitted to go there - tho hers wuld be welcome at my house
and I'd prolly end up raising them....which is fine been there done that Let's not forget that these are children. I think the OP has to be very careful to remember that his message to his daughter will be a very powerful one and influential to the way she behaves for a long time to come. I am trying to leave religion out of my response - not because I don't think it's important - but because I think it there are also many non religious justifications for caution here and the religious ones apply to those who value them |
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Not sure if right or wrong, but I took my daughter to her first gyn exam when she was 14. Beforehand, I spoke with the doctor and said that I would like her to suggest the pill to regulate and control cramps. I didn't say anything. She and the doctor decided she should start taking them. Please note: they do not do an invasion exam at that age. Sometime after that (don't remember exact timing, I spoke to her about sex again and made a point of stressing that when she was ready, there is no age restriction on the purchase of condoms and the importance of preventing pregnancy and disease.
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have you watched "Teen Mom" or "16 & Pregnant"...I would definitely put her on the pill...she will have sex either way you look at it...at least on the pill she won't be getting pregnant which will totally change her life and path forever
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Talk to your Dr. and your daughter and do what feels right.
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I think it is time to have another talk with her, ask her what she wants to do. Another thing I would suggest is to get a box of condoms for her, do you want to take the chance of the guy she is with to have an old expired condom that he has been carrying around in his wallet? I am sure you already have her set up with her own gyno? If not then this would be the time... Good Luck and remember that the best time to clean your guns is when her date is picking her up...lol LoL!...go back to when you were 15 or 16 I promise you that I would be chatting with that lady and warning her NOT to provide my son with condoms! I feel like she might as well sit out the alcohol just in case the kids decide to drink IF they stay at the house!!! Some people just don't have a clue!!! |
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I think it is time to have another talk with her, ask her what she wants to do. Another thing I would suggest is to get a box of condoms for her, do you want to take the chance of the guy she is with to have an old expired condom that he has been carrying around in his wallet? I am sure you already have her set up with her own gyno? If not then this would be the time... Good Luck and remember that the best time to clean your guns is when her date is picking her up...lol LoL!...go back to when you were 15 or 16 I promise you that I would be chatting with that lady and warning her NOT to provide my son with condoms! I feel like she might as well sit out the alcohol just in case the kids decide to drink IF they stay at the house!!! Some people just don't have a clue!!! |
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..i'm thinking more along the line of a shot gun sitting by the door,when he comes over... 
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..i'm thinking more along the line of a shot gun sitting by the door,when he comes over... Our children are a precious gift to us... ...and a serious responsibility, until they reach their adulthood.  |
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My honest opinion is its better to be safe then sorry in that situation.you know that shes responsible but you should make the responsible decision to and take the extra precaution as a responsible parent. Lets say her feelings start to grow for the kid and they do decide to take the relationship abit further, do you really want to take that risk? Plus the pill could even beefit your daughter in other ways also, its not just a birth control pill..if im not mistaken it does also help to keep the users monthlie cycles regular and keeps the pain to a smãller scale. Research othe beefits too, not just the sex side of it.
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birth control doesnt stop STD's
people talk of pregnancy as if its the WORST ending to such a decision each person is different and should do what works for them and their children talk more to children about WHY its so important for them to wait, talk to them about how much you value them, talk to them about the potential for not just pregnancy but DEATH when they make such a decision, talk to them about all the other things they can do with that 'person' who claims to love them that dont involve risking their life in such a way, talk to them about what it means to truly have someone LOVE you, talk, talk, talk, and show by example I think it works better than the cop out of 'they will do it anyway' expect more from them and you perhaps teach them to expect more from themself as I said, for those who choose to provide bc or condoms, if it works in your situation, go for it, it takes a parent to know THEIR child with MY children, I use communication and example and thats what works for us |
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I agree! We were rebellious teens at one time, it's better to be prepared for the worst than to underestimate our children and expect the best. They are human and want to experiment and unfortunately we can't follow them and keep a close eye on them every second of the day. When I am in your situation, (which I anticipate will be in about 5 to 6 years) I will take her over to planned parenthood and definitely educate her on what's out there. Good luck to you in whatever your decision is, I'm sure you will make the best one for your child.
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