my 15 yr old has a bf, her 1st proper bf, she sensible girl, and being a responsible dad i given the relationship sex talk yrs ago. so now i thinkin, is it time to put her on pill, any advice would be welcome, my eldest daughter says "yeah dad put er on it just in case"..

Put her on the Pill, the Ring, the Shot, the UVI, the Patch and stuff her bag with condoms and day after pills!

She will do it anyway, better safe than being a teen mom and ending her teen life so young...

no, I think its the same as giving consent and it does not protect against disease


stress to her the importance of PROTECTION(not contraception) and all the things that can happen with unprotected sex because you do not want her to DIE,,,that will drive home the significance of that choice should she choose to make it

I'm not a parent, but I think my parents had a good strategy when it came to this. They didn't throw it at me. They said that if I asked they'd get me all set up with birth control pills, no questions asked, especially since there are other benefits to them like helping with acne and regulating periods and whatnot. It felt like they trusted me to be responsible and that was pretty nice.

Thanks for your input everyone, The joys of being a parent huh.

I have an 18 year old, so I know how you feel. You can still find chastity belts on line. LOL Talk to her, often. The safest birth control is still the condom. If she is going to be active tell her to make sure that her BF uses them. The other methods don't protect against STDS. If you know she is going to be active give them to her. Putting her on the pill won't protect against disease. Good Luck

I am not a parent, obviously. But when my mom found out I was thinking about becoming sexually active, she set me up with an appointment at a local place called, 'Planned Parenthood', which stressed to me the importance of not just the pill, but condoms!

If you really think you should start her on the pill, don't forget condoms as well. Because actually there is a percentage of women that the pill doesn't work on, and you don't find out until you get pregnant. So, the use of the pill (or other birth control) needs to be also packaged with condoms.

Also, see what works for her, as well. Anyways, that's my two cents.

Putting her on birth control now may help to get the idea of focusing on making her life right before she makes any new lives, which can be good get an education, follow your dreams and figure out who you are, get a good career, etc. (I've known a number of people from their teen years and who have now"grown up" with parents or older siblings who have been understanding and supportive of teenage sex lives and this was the route they almost all inevitably followed)

However, it is a green light for promiscuity especially considering social trends in acceptance of this type of behavior in increasingly younger women(some aspect of the feminist movement gone awry) and it does not protect against STDs which ironically have also increased in frequency and occurrence.

Ultimately it comes down to your families' values and beliefs, I would say get on the pill but stress the importance of condoms (get graphic it seems to be a better bet in being receptive to the warnings) It is better to be safe than sorry, but having and open and supportive relationship with your child as they get closer to becoming an adult is so much more important...when things go wrong in the respect of teenagers the hardest thing to do is go to your parents and ask for advice or help.

Keep this in mind they don't know what the are doing or the risks they are taking and normally they don't care...if they want to do it they will find a way better to know you've done your best to ensure they are informed before they "step off the deep end"

for one "you" can not put her on the pill.. she is 15.. growing up. here is what i did..
i talked to my daughter.. when i seen her getting serious. and let her know that i noticed and that i was not verifying that it is ok to have sex but that i knew i was her age once and when it came to that i knew it was my choice rather my parents told me not to. that sex is an adult act and if you are going to be deciding to be "adult" that she would need to come talk to me about it when the time came. because of the fact that if she was doing that she needed to be adult enough to also think about her future... to my shock..a month later she had her bf over and says mom "we need to talk to you" oh yea omg! i was so embarrassed! it was a talk between the three of us!.. i guess no more embarrassed as they were... i had insurance for her.. but this is how i dealt.. " so as adults doing adult things what do you both think should be done?" " well we were thinking i need to get on birth control" "ok then.. so do you feel i should be paying for you guys having sex?" when i do not believe you should be doing that?". they said" humm gross no! they decided in front of me to split the cost.. for the birth control< as adults> and pay the 5 dollar copay at the time.. also that he would drive her to get her shot.... now i never put that in their heads.. this was when my daughter was 15 as well.. he was 17. i just said again ok.. i think you guys have a good plan as adults.. "still........ not saying that i approve of it.. rather that i am not that stupid and you all are gonna do what you choose to do".. hey that is the reality teens will do what they want to do and listen to what they want to listen to facts are is they are growing up.. and branching out to be individuals..

ill say this.. she is nearly 28 now..hes 30 and they have a 1 yr old.. yes they have been together 13 yrs best of luck to you

I think it is time to have another talk with her, ask her what she wants to do. Another thing I would suggest is to get a box of condoms for her, do you want to take the chance of the guy she is with to have an old expired condom that he has been carrying around in his wallet? I am sure you already have her set up with her own gyno? If not then this would be the time... Good Luck and remember that the best time to clean your guns is when her date is picking her up...lol

but why should dad pay for the condoms? he is no part of her sexual life.. still i say old enough to have sex old enough to take care of things... i dont think a dad or mom should be paying for their child having sex at any age lol! JMO

also this i do have 3 children... middle is a boy... he just kid of got it.. he is almost 25.. no kids.. and then a third child daughter 7 yrs younger than my oldest daughter.. well i kept my kids close though obviously different fathers they do not call each other half... and my youngest daughter i had talks with but she did go to her bigger sister.. so if you have a older daughter that works too.. its easier talking to your sis.... of course older sis told me lol! however younger sis had to call me for some info still and it was obvious and she knew it.. at least she felt comfortable calling.. i think condoms alone dont cut it these days.. you need both for a daughter...which btw i did also press the point...

I agree with msharmony.

What about other consequences?

I didn't allow my daughters to date until
they went to their senior proms.

Yeah, I know it sounds too strick.

From my personal experience, I know
these young people get confused when they are dating
and going out with teen suitors.

There are no rules in most cases...
only nonverbal at times and very nontraditional when spoken.

I was looking out for their futures!!!

It was like trying to catch a tiger by its tail!!!

In the meantime I drilled them on the ins and outs
of relationships. How to take charge of their own well-being.

They experienced a lot of peer pressure.

My girls witnessed some of their friends fall by the wayside.

Once they get that first relationship ,
Sex sneakily becomes a form of expression
even when one is trying not to engage.

One or the other wants to do it.

In spite of their environment and things that were going on
in their social realm...
I kept them busy with activities in the home and outside.

Against all odds my daughters are highly educated.
And are great moms with daughters of their own.

It was a battle worth fighting.

They tell me often how grateful they are
that I made them wait.

OMG !

No , no , no no no no !!!

I think that would only invite the idea that it's ok

to sleep around.

"It's ok , my dad got me the pill , let's have sex on his bed , he won't be home from work till 5 ..."

i have to agree with msharmony...

i'm not opposed to sex, only sex before a person is truly emotionally and physically ready for it. in my personal experience, that's probably not fifteen.

i wouldn't choose a hormonal method of birth control unless absolutely necessary, because their bodies and brains aren't completely developed yet. toss in that the pill MUST be taken at the same time to be truly effective, and you're setting yourself up for failure. most teens can't manage that daily.

condoms and spermicide. heavy stress on waiting until it's right for YOU, and not just right for him.

i also put a program on my daughter's phone that tracks her cycle. she can clearly see when she's fertile, as well as knowing when to carry monthly protection.

I would suggest having a serious conversation with BOTH teens...stress the important of dual responsibility..the difference between having sex and making love, etc....since they are a couple it would not be inapropriate to speak to them together

what she said..especially since it was years ago that you gave the relationship sex talk...

if i were to go that route, i'd get the other parent involved, as well.

i'd be furious if someone were to have such a talk with MY children, especially if they gave misinformation.

good-luck in geting the other parent involved...does not always work that way

but I do understand what you mean about the misinformation...not furious but worried and concerned