I have been doing renos in the house over a few years. I get offers from boyfriends, or just male friends to help me. I accept it but the guy cancels or doesn't show up. In one incident; I waited three weeks for a shelf to be put up by a guy that was living with me. So, I ended up doing it myself. Then the guy gets mad at me and says he was going to do it. So what seems to be the problem? Why make a promise to help if you don't intend to help and then get mad when we do things ourselves? Opinions please.

I have the same problem only it's with my kids.

My thinking is if you want it done right do it yourself. Waiting for other to come through with their promises, is like waiting for death to come.

Because they gave you empty promise, and they dislike like it because you found them out. JMO.

Easy!

The guys in question are lazy.

Some people are workers....some ain't.

I deal with that at my plant all the time. I tell em straight up..."I got no use for whatever excuse is about to pop out of your mouth but, if you really wanna pissme off say the words "I was gonna""

Turtles are awesome......Just saying.

I learned years ago that if you want something done.......I don't even ask anymore, I simply do it. Of course, being alone now, I have no other choice, but life just seems simpler if I know it's taken care of. I think most guys get upsety by this because somehow, they feel you have wounded their masculinity....God forbid a woman be able to do a man's job

To me if you say your going to do it then do it within a reasonable time or I will do it. If they ask why I tell them straight out that I got tired of waiting and figured if I wanted it done then I would do it.

If they get butt hurt then so be it...

Hmm, never thought of it that way. Thanks for the insight.

Oh yeah? Go pee your name in the snow. hehehehehehehe

There is some truth to that statement. I just get frustrated when my life is inconvenienced by promises; ie: my clothes being in bins while I was waiting for my closet to be repaired, so again did it myself.

Yep, that is exactly why I only rely on myself.

IF someone jumps in to help me, then I am grateful, and alot of times guys at my plant will, because I am always the first one to jump in to lend a hand without ever asking or being asked.

Took a lot of work Krupa....but I did it!!!!!

Yeah a male friend of mine told me that it hurts a man's ego when you do things yourself as it makes him feel like he is not needed. I just do it myself as I just want it done before I collect old age pension.

Hahahahahaha You are a good sport honey!


Did you look like a sand crab as you squat scuttled around?

Some guys are lazy or flaky, but still want to feel needed. So when they're too lazy or flake out on what they promised to do, they get upset when you do it because it makes them feel as if you don't need them. And when they feel like they are not needed, it makes them feel less manly.

..Oh, the visuals!!

I understand that completely. But how long do you wait for him to stop being lazy or flaky to do what he promised? I think three weeks to put up a shelf or now a month to fix a light is a bit much. I have a basement light that is out and its very dangerous as I have had a few falls because its so dark. Been waiting a month for a friend to help but still no help so I am pulling it out today. If I can't fix it; then I will hire an electrician. If it hurts his manhood; then he brought this on himself.

we'll do it....in our own time

That is why we do it ourselves or call the local handyman. I just contacted an electrician to fix my light. Its a real safety hazard when you can't see where you are going. Not work risking injury waiting for a man to do it in his own time.