I've been poor all my life & likewise so have the men I've been in relationships with. Just getting by. Always struggling to make ends meet. Recently I've met a man who treats me great & works 7 days a week putting in 10-12 hour days & brings home good money. Thing is I'm still a simple minded girl & pizza, etc suits me just fine. He likes to go out for steaks, etc. I'm not used to being in a relationship where I don't have to ask for anything. Funny thing is I had no idea he made that kind of money when I met him & it doesn't matter. I still work & although he gives me money & helps with the bills I've never asked him for a dollar bill since we've been together. Money doesn't change who the person is inside. JMHO

"My confidence is taken as aggression and that scares women!"



Has a lady ever said that to you? If not, then I think you should scratch it off.

I'm no expert but I do believe aggression is taken as aggression and THAT...... scares women.
Peoples Insecurities manifest themselves in many ways but anger and aggression dominate. Women sense that!

Question:
If I have attitude.... and you have attitude
I have foul mouth.... You have foul mouth
I wear 300$ Gucci Crocskin shoes.... You wear old school converse.

Who gets the quality girls?























None of us buddy.... We're both foul mouthed with chit attitudes

UMMMM, Yes I have been told that several times. And frankly weak hearts NEVER win. And I have bagged my share of Does with my ratty tennis shoes. On top of that a lot of the advice women have given me paid out for nothing. Advice given top me by my fellow man pig has gotten me a lot farther.

So who should I listen too? Women who give me bogus advice or man pigs who's advice has paid off for me?


HMMMMMMMMMMMM. Who to listen too?

I don't need to rethink anything. I think that because a man isn't "successful" that he wants some support is because I lived it, and I won't do it again.

I have also had dates with "un"successful men, including one who got so agitated that his father hadn't bankrolled him so he could be a millionaire by now that he began to spit when he talked. I spoke to another one on the phone who worked as a part-time groundskeeper for a golf range. He lived with his son who paid the rent. The guy couldn't wait to drive to meet me (he lived about 150 miles away), but didn't know if his car could make it.

Oh, yeah, who would be supporting HIS ***? Not me!

Kudos to your ex brother in law for taking care of his family, but there are probably more factors than money that attract only the crazy women.

because most women are looking for the same guy that doesnt exist....

^^^^^^^^
My Friend!

You know my father spent more time out of work than working. My first real W2 job I got when I was 13. My father got custody of me and my brother and he managed to drain our bank accounts to pay HIS bills. My father robbed me of so many opportunities with his manipulation. I swore NEVER to be like my father. I took after my mother more and she is retired against her will, owns her property outright, and has been traveling a lot! My father? SAME DEAD BEAT LOSER! No life, relies on Social Security, rents his house, owns a beat up crappy van, and lives alone! What you said had me thinking a lot.

Now with that said. I always work. My life has become swallowed by work but this year I am changing that. I would rather loose income than loose having any life at all to placate my responsibilities. people talk about fair and reciprocation but it always degenerates into money and hence my whole argument about self interest. How unfair is it to get om a man who while instead of making money winds up doing things like replacing the engine in his wife's car (and if you have to have that done before you know that is VICIOUSLY expensive!) fixing a bunch of messed up stuff around the house, and manages to at least buy groceries with the paid work he managed to do BUT she is stuck paying the rent and utilities? Now granted a a rebuilt engine can cost about $1000 for small 4 cylinder economy buckets up to $25,000 for premium sports cars but how about the cost of labor? How about the cost of a plumber? How fair is it when a man takes on unpaid labor to save money for the house when the GF or Wife doesn't have to get her hands dirty? Work is work.

Now if the men you were referring to were like my father, but this gets better, my father found religion and became one of the nutty Born Again Christians and Tithed money he didn't have and some of my life savings was tithed against my will as well, so did some of the child support my mother had to pay, all my father did was sit on the couch to the point of giving it and others a butt rut, suck up unemployment, and watch channel 40 (UHF thank you!). I cleaned the house with my brother. I DID ALL OF THE AUTO MECHANICS OF THE HOUSE ON HIS P.O.S. CAR. I did a lot of household repairs. I had a job after school and my father took my $85 I earned every week too to "help the family out." On top of that he didn't want me getting my drivers license until I was 25 becasue "His insurance would go up." My mom left him becasue he was a LOOSER in the fullest of terms. He was so manipulative he suckered my brother and I into thinking he knew what was best for us. Instead he used us to keep his fat *** out of work! Now if you are referring to men who will not work I agree with you because I refuse to date a woman who does not have a job. Sorry but I do not like Cotton Tails. Cotton Tails are men and women who do not work and expect others to support them.

BUT, if a man is taking care of business at home since chores do not do themselves, cars don't fix themselves, and food does not miraculously appear on the table, but he is sacrificing through actual non paid work at home, (clearing my throat) WOMEN HAVE NO RIGHT TO BIITCH AT ALL IF HE CAN'T AFFORD HIS HALF OF THE RENT!

IF GETTING AN ENGINE FIXED COSTS YOU JUST PARTS YOU ARE LUCKY! AT A SHOP A REBUILT $1500 ENGINE WILL BE MARKED UP AT LEAST $1000 AND THEN THE LABOR, ANOTHER $1000 OR MORE! I have done work like this for GFs only to suddenly be treated like a no income looser later. If there is a reciprocal trade off then money should not matter.

Husbands who are always, "Honey, I need more money," are the soft aszed losers I want to beat up and take their money from them. A real man works and isn't afraid to get his hands dirty.

Now if I was so wealthy I didn't have to work, I would own my own fish farm, constantly go on fish safaris looking for rare and new aquarium fish, probably also have my own "pay to view" aquarium, and sideline doing animation.

Rich people who do nothing but party and drugs all day long and indulge their gluttony, well, even losers can be rich too now can't they?

I would have to imagine that if you can look past money and have a house where the line IS being towed by all parties then you have a functional family. Not a slow burning disaster waiting to happen!

Hey, my imaginary guy resents your remark.

"IF GETTING AN ENGINE FIXED COSTS YOU JUST PARTS YOU ARE LUCKY! AT A SHOP A REBUILT $1500 ENGINE WILL BE MARKED UP AT LEAST $1000 AND THEN THE LABOR, ANOTHER $1000 OR MORE! I have done work like this for GFs only to suddenly be treated like a no income looser later. If there is a reciprocal trade off then money should not matter."
..................................................................

You my friend, are all over the map. Alrighty then, let's talk rebuilt motors.

Last time I had to rebuild a motor was.... Let's see ummm NEVER?
Last time I called a plumber was.... Let's see ummm 15 yrs ago? cost me 200$? PLEASE!

People shouldn't confuse the things they know how to do with financial responsibilities around the home...

Mortgage/Rent= Monthly
Utilities & misc= Monthly
Food=Daily

The months add up quickly and All the other chit you brought up comes once in a blue moon...

In a relationship, I hope you aren't saying that mowing the lawn and shoveling snow off the driveway should be bartered and negotiated based on time consumed?
I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be saying that if ye had 3 rug rats running around... I'm thinking to barter that... you'd need to rebuild 10 motors a week!

Sorry you had a rough childhood
Good luck to you sir.

Excuse me, but what a load of crappacious rationalizing.

You sound as if women do NO chores or do not work at jobs outside the home. Let me inform you, child-bearing responsibilities are still largely remain the province of women (and before you men who share those responsibilities jump me, I said "largely"). Hire a babysitter and see how much you would be paying someone to do what she does.

If you are so busy putting an engine in your wife's car and breaking down how much that would cost and/or doing the plumbing, the wife would be doing the rest of the work--you make it sound as if the jobs that are traditionally male oriented are more important than traditional female roles.

If she is cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, mowing the lawn, then she is inputting as much "unpaid" labor as you are. I did ALL of those things in my marriage and sewed not only most of my clothes, but my ex's work shirts.

So it comes down to rent time and HE can't come up with his half because he has been working on the car and SHE can't come up with her half because she has been doing everything else. Looks like they will be out in the street, eh?

By the way, I have never had a husband or boyfriend replace the engine in my car, but I have paid for repairs done on my car.

Perhaps you don't know it, but a marriage or live-in relationship should be a partnership. If you are keeping tabs on how much YOU do and how much you save, then you are making it into a competition.



Huzzah! My sentiments, as well.

Methinks you think it scares women. Just because women back off from you doesn't mean that they are scared: it just means they don't want anything to do with you, and that is based on a variety of reasons.

I know many confident men--including my boyfriend--and their confidence would never be taken as aggression. I have the feeling you come across too strongly in trying to prove that you have confidence.

Its like wearing make-up: if you notice a woman is wearing it, its too much. If your confidence is scaring women away, then it is bluster, bravado, and braggadocio.

you my friend are a suck up. Nice to know you are so privileged to not have to deal with stuff like I have had to deal with. Kudos to you for being so perfect. Can you walk on water too? Since you never had to deal with an engine rebuild or replacement I would suggest you knock on wood or something becasue when the need does come for you I hope your perfect wallet can deal with the cost. And if you are one of those Schmucks who has to have A high end BMW or Benz or Range Rover (FORD! COUGH COUGH) and your engine goes Kaput, well, suck it down buddy! Your wallet is just going to BLEED when the mechanic gets done with you! I suppose you are also one of those fortunate men who can pay for everything under the sun? Well, good for you if you are.

Now as far as me being capricious? Gwendolyn my dear, I have been around a lot more than you might anticipate. I have seen friends of mine have to deal with the afore mentioned BS where they get dragged into being a House Husband becasue of the costs of Child care and the two incomes not being able to cope but since the wife's income was better the role reversal allowed them to save money. Now taking care of kids is a lot more than shoveling snow. So is doing those "Once in a rare while things."

Unfortunately some people here are looking at things in the shallowest and easiest terms to justify their ideals. Well, sh** happens and some of it is bad. Men OR women who rely on excuses and sit on their ***** are worthless. All too often I see men who take on minimum wage jobs becasue that is ALL that is available to keep the money coming in and thy are treated like SH** just the same. It sucks to go from 60K plus a year to 28K a year becasue the job market took a total crap. But a man with a work ethic will do what he can to keep the money coming in.

Like I said if a man is not doing anything of value for the house he is worthless. But if he is taking care of the house as in SHE comes home to a clean house, dinner waiting for her, and she doesn't have to lift a finger at home becasue it is ALL being taken care of then SHUT UP! I am not making excuses. I just don't like hypocrisy! Welcome to the new millennium and equality. Role Reversal is a Biitch isn't it???

I work among very affluent circles and I see a lot of housewives among the group who have House keepers to do the work of keeping the house. In some of these cases the wives work at home and I can tell becasue they are in front of a computer with a pile of paper around them. Some even operate businesses from their houses. Bit a Cottontail is Cottontail and it is BS when women treat a house Husband like dirt unfairly.

I don't see confidence as being aggressive. Perhaps you're coming off as arrogant instead.

I don't see anything wrong with a man being a house husband if that is what the family needs and wouldn't mind supporting my other half if the house were clean, dinner cooked, stuff fixed! However, when the ex bf couldn't keep a job (due to a crappy attitude) it didn't work out that way and I ended up supporting him & bad habits in exchange for a crazed drama king that drove me slap nutts.

and for the record here, he didn't know diddly squat about fixing cars & what he knows now...I taught him...if his dumbazz can remember any of it! He a put up trim boards around my air conditioners that would make my Dad role over in his grave (total lack of carpentry skills here), wired my ceiling fan wrong, half-azzed the fence in the back yard, and whatever crap he fixed around here, either myself or the landlord showed him how to!

My Mom worked right alongside my Dad in his carpentry and remodeling business and my parents taught us to work hard and not depend on anyone else (man, woman, or gov't). Not all success is marked by money either-IMO!

Oddly I have thought about that and oddly when I compare my behavior to others I really am not that arrogant. I admit I am more pessimistic than optimistic but when something goes right I enjoy it a lot better than trying to paint a happy face on everything. Comes with years of the other person failing me more often than doing the right thing.

I also got to agree with Fireflysgirl, a lot of men can't fix squat. Makes it look bad for those of us who can. I have seen women in construction here that pull their weight better than the men sometimes! I have a hard time with helpers because I hate having to hold hands while trying to get something done! That's life I guess!

Just because you don't see yourself as arrogant doesn't mean that others don't.

And yes, you do seem pessimistic a lot of the time here.

Well, frankly two weeks ago I almost died to a tank failure. the job was rushed and I was complaining the whole time safety was being compromised with the rush on the job. The tank was not even tested like it was supposed to be and I personally requested a fill test to insure tank integrity. Had the electrician in the room with me NOT have gotten the electrical panel on the wall when he did I would NOT be having this conversation right now. I have every right to be pessimistic when I see a disaster coming and I almost died for being right! Then again I was standing right next to the tank when it failed and I could have had my legs amputated by a 300 pound piece of sheet plastic that sheared from the back of the tank. Either way I got LUCKY and I hate getting lucky like that because every time you use a luck point you may have them run out on you in life! Sorry but thank God I am in one piece but since I live work right now it is my job to try and not have disasters happen but like I said, I am used to the other guy failing me. The tank failure was the manufacturer's fault and not mine but that failure also reflects on me professionally and I don't like that either!

I am entitled to be pessimistic and happily surprised when things go right. And life goes on and I try not to dwell on the fact I almost met God AGAIN! Sorry but I seem to duck a lot of bullets in my life! it isn't like I am shooting at myself!

This is what I feel like sometimes...



BOBWHITE! BOBWHITE! BOBWHITE CHAKKA KAHN! BOBWHITE!

(That is a reference to a episode of Eek The Cat involving a Quail!)

"you my friend are a suck up. Nice to know you are so privileged to not have to deal with stuff like I have had to deal with. Kudos to you for being so perfect. Can you walk on water too? Since you never had to deal with an engine rebuild or replacement I would suggest you knock on wood or something becasue when the need does come for you I hope your perfect wallet can deal with the cost. And if you are one of those Schmucks who has to have A high end BMW or Benz or Range Rover (FORD! COUGH COUGH) and your engine goes Kaput, well, suck it down buddy! Your wallet is just going to BLEED when the mechanic gets done with you! I suppose you are also one of those fortunate men who can pay for everything under the sun? Well, good for you if you are."




I'm glad we can have this civilized conversation?.... Don't push your luck.

Again, you assume I'm this financial guru who has bills flying out of my arse... why is that?
Would it surprise you to know I've never made more than 45K a year working for myself? My vehicle lease, insurance and tags all get paid by my company. What? That's privileged? Don't think so...

You haven't figured it out yet? smart guy? You Keep working for your boss when you know he makes money off you? He Puts your life at risk to push jobs quicker?

Yeah, a steady paychq to me is privileged & lazy... Keep up the good work! Don't sweat it... there will be another one next week.

Ciao!

While it does suck that you've had to deal with things like that and sure you have the right to be pessimistic, just keep in mind that it's a turn off for many.