I would love to hear some opinions.
**What is the difference between unconditional love and obsession?**
So if you continue to forgive ppl who have really done you wrong, and then try to get past the pain and treat them the way you want them to treat you, hence the "unconditional" part. Why do other ppl think you just can't get over someone and are obsessed? Isn't obsession when you do negative things to someone, or when you intrude, and are not wanted there?


HELP ME UNDERSTAND!!

I reserve my unconditional love for my child, my family. I can't get unconditional love to a significant other, that love may not always last for life. I can love a S/O very deeply, but not unconditionally. If you screw me over or hurt me, my love will fade for him, But it will never fade for my family. It only gets stronger.

Basically my love for a man does come with conditions, and IMO it should. The conditions are he loves me back and treats me with the respect I deserve. There's nothing my child can do to make me not love her. That's unconditional.
If you feel you are bordering on being obsessed with a man, you probably are.

Well put Jill.

I could not have said it any better.

This is me standing up and applauding....

Truer words have never been spoken.

Actually, I stepped in here about to go off on a few personal angles of this topic (I often do) and after reading Jill's simple perspective....had to change a few of my own perspectives. Sometimes it is simple statements of the obvious are the ones that sink in with me....this is a good thing.

Furthermore, unconditional love does not contain harmful behavior. Consider this. What constitutes harmful behavior? If you cannot "get over" or "move past" someone, isn't that a form of harmful behavior? By not letting go, you will tend to alienate the object of your affection. Furthermore, you do emotional and psychological damage to yourself which may take years for you overcome (keyword is may). Think about the mental aspects and how they can harm YOU, rather than thinking about Fatal Attraction. That is what people mean by obsessing over someone.

Progression: Lust > Obsession > Stalking

Love, let alone Unconditional Love, is right out.

Well said Jill

I think that the true definition of unconditional love, is allowing an individual space to be who they are. now that doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to subject yourself to the things that are the subject of your unconditional love, such as , anger and rage, physical ,verbal, mental, abuse, you get the picture. People, who return to the scene of the crime so to speak, really need to look from a different perspective.
I think that what we are all subconsciously and consciously looking for would be classified as perfect love. Perfect love goes directly to the uniqueness of the individual and meets them where they are at, it is honest to a fault but, the furthest thing from selfish you can get. It is intimacy at it’s highest level.
For instance if I am involved in a persons life and some of the things they are doing I don’t agree with, then I have a choice to either separate myself from that person or continue to hang around them because I like them, I just don’t like some of the things that they do. That is unconditional love.
On the other hand perfect love would give a viable option to the person in order that the person could change to make themselves better without placing the expectation on them to take their advice.

Unconditional love can lead to self-sacrifice, but it does not lead to harming another person.

Obsession can lead to self-sacrifice, too, but it can also lead to harming another person.

Parents do have unconditional love for their children. But, as time goes by, and a child starts to live his or her own life, the things the child does will test that love. The child can strain the love with the parent. Or, even in some cases, the parent can choose to not love the child. I have seen it happen. And, while that is terribly sad, it is truth. The parent will always love the child, but they can also distance themselves from the child.

Uncondtional love is, to a point, a love that will always be there. You can love a child, a family member, and a lover with this kind of love. In fact, I believe that if you truly fall in love with someone, that it should be unconditional. You can't fall for someone half assed. Yes, they can hurt you emotionally and even physically. But so can family members. But that is the risk you take. It's the price of love. You take it on belief, or faith, that this person will always love you. And while the are going to disappoint you at some point, they will always try to make it right.

unconditional love means giving your love without requiring anything in return

this is not the same as loving despite abusive treatment or obsession
no doormat, no compulsion necessary

Thank you David. This is what I thought.

Thank you for your perspective on this question.
I don't want to debate my intent, I just wanted ppl's opinion on the differences.
I don't think I am obsessing. I just have learned how to forgive completely and put it in the past. This is not a current partner of mine. But family and friends think, once an assho!e always... I have a problem with judging ppl this way. Maybe it's just me, but if everyone I knew, knew EVERYthing about my behavior in the past, I might loose a friend or two!

I agree! Love and ask for nothing in return. It's kind of like an anonymous donation that changes someones chances to be happier.

I would love to hear your perspective. As I do appreciate Jill's, I would like to hear what you though before reading her reply.

BTW I think ppl are a bit confused about the topic. I would like the differences between the two. And for the record...I do not seek out this person, I simply do not turn my back on them when they need to talk. It's just that simple.

Unconditional love and obsession; What is the difference? Good question. Really, hmm. Whats the difference? Maybe after the infatuation runs its course we may return to normal? Maybe then we may discovered what we were infatuated with them to begin with? Was it truly love or just some facsimile thereof? Did we really care for the person or were we just obsessed with them? Are they replaceable? If they are is it love we are obsessed with or something else? In the final evaluation are they just a phase we went through? Did we learn something in the process about them or ourself? What caused us to be obsessed with them and is unconditional love even possible? Makes one wonder the possibility of unconditional obsession. After making contact with them do we resort back to as if they never happened or did they make an impression on us? Can love be obsessive? Was it all just chemistry over which we had no control? Were we just addicted to them?

My friendship with my dog is improving. I can tolerate the cat at times. I gave up on trying to grow a plant. Nature does that fine on its own. I made breakfast for myself and my boarder. I am glad I am not obsessed with anything or anyone today. Its been real peaceful.

There are conditions on love for family......I only reserve unconditional love for my children......not my family.....but forgive everyone..........just do not continue to associate with them