Topic: y do we cheat on women and women cheat on us...
Goofball73's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:12 PM

Here's what's coming up next week on Dr Goofball.....


We will discuss horror films, latex fetishes, and gummy bears and how the combination of all three leads to unbelievable sex.

Dodo_David's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:13 PM

Humans are more than biology and evolution.

Having sex with multiple partners when in a supposed committed relationship is a choice, not something out of a person's control.


:thumbsup:

Gossipmpm's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:14 PM


Here's what's coming up next week on Dr Goofball.....


We will discuss horror films, latex fetishes, and gummy bears and how the combination of all three leads to unbelievable sex.




I'M there!!!!!!:heart:

Dodo_David's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:17 PM

We will discuss horror films . . .

Goof, leave my love life out of it.grumble

msharmony's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:19 PM
because we can


seriously, we learn from action and reaction, and when the reaction is unpleasant enough we learn not to repeat the action


but currently, people are too blase about infidelity and sex so there is no real DETERRENT to promiscuity or adultery

RKISIT's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:20 PM

People cheat for many reasons. Let's look at some.

(1). You begin to date someone, and you "think" you like them. So, you become exclusive, think you are happy, but after a couple months you begin to lose interest. You keep telling your partner that you aren't, but the truth is that you are already looking at someone else. You then decide that you don't want to go through the drama of a break up, and so you cheat, and you like it. So, you keep cheating and then your partner finds out. You lie of course, but the truth is out there. You still go through drama, but now it is much more worse than you ever could've imagined. You leave your old partner to go and be with your fling. More then likely, the fling will fizzle out too.

(2). You say you like a person, say all the right things actually. And, before you know it, you are involved with them. You didn't intend for it to happen, but you go along with it. But, what your partner doesn't know is that you are also seeing another (hell, maybe even a couple others) because...well...you just like em all and you feel you can manage this. Oh, but then it comes crashing down. They all find out about each other, and the best you can hope for is to not get murdered.

(3). You are married, and you do love your spouse. But one day, this new person comes along that starts to make you have lustful thoughts. You know it is wrong. You know you love your spouse. And yet, you can't stop thinking about this other person. And so, as luck would have it, you go to the bar and see said new person. A few drinks, a little bit of truth, and next thing you know, lustful fantasy comes true. Moment of weakness? Nah. You simply gave in to your lusts when you knew better.


The point here is this. People cheat for various reasons. Not one clear identifier as to who will cheat. I have a cousin who was dedicated to his wife for years, and he cheated. I asked him why and he admitted that he lost focus on fixing things with his wife and allowed his lust to take over. Since this time, he and his wife have fixed things. Just my thoughts though.

Goof i wanna hold you till the fear in me subsidesflowerforyou

Dodo_David's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:32 PM

but currently, people are too blase about infidelity and sex so there is no real DETERRENT to promiscuity or adultery

. . . and pity the fool who dares suggest that sexual promiscuity may not be a good thing. The person will get raked over the coals.

Gossipmpm's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:37 PM
i am blase about sex......reaaaaallllly open about it also....



but i would never...ever....ever....cheat on my man!!!!!....eva!!!!:heart:

msharmony's photo
Tue 10/05/10 12:38 PM


but currently, people are too blase about infidelity and sex so there is no real DETERRENT to promiscuity or adultery

. . . and pity the fool who dares suggest that sexual promiscuity may not be a good thing. The person will get raked over the coals.



as it goes, tonguelashings dont currently supercede media promotion and reinforcement

TexasScoundrel's photo
Tue 10/05/10 04:31 PM

all u who say cheating is programmed, better rethink this.


Alright, I'm open minded. What are your points that should cause me to rethink my notions of evolutionary psychology?

BTW I never said cheating is programmed. I said the desire to cheat is programmed and I gave reasons that make sense for the long term survival of the genes of the cheaters.

All of our emotions are there to help us either survive or replicate.

Goofball73's photo
Tue 10/05/10 06:37 PM


People cheat for many reasons. Let's look at some.

(1). You begin to date someone, and you "think" you like them. So, you become exclusive, think you are happy, but after a couple months you begin to lose interest. You keep telling your partner that you aren't, but the truth is that you are already looking at someone else. You then decide that you don't want to go through the drama of a break up, and so you cheat, and you like it. So, you keep cheating and then your partner finds out. You lie of course, but the truth is out there. You still go through drama, but now it is much more worse than you ever could've imagined. You leave your old partner to go and be with your fling. More then likely, the fling will fizzle out too.

(2). You say you like a person, say all the right things actually. And, before you know it, you are involved with them. You didn't intend for it to happen, but you go along with it. But, what your partner doesn't know is that you are also seeing another (hell, maybe even a couple others) because...well...you just like em all and you feel you can manage this. Oh, but then it comes crashing down. They all find out about each other, and the best you can hope for is to not get murdered.

(3). You are married, and you do love your spouse. But one day, this new person comes along that starts to make you have lustful thoughts. You know it is wrong. You know you love your spouse. And yet, you can't stop thinking about this other person. And so, as luck would have it, you go to the bar and see said new person. A few drinks, a little bit of truth, and next thing you know, lustful fantasy comes true. Moment of weakness? Nah. You simply gave in to your lusts when you knew better.


The point here is this. People cheat for various reasons. Not one clear identifier as to who will cheat. I have a cousin who was dedicated to his wife for years, and he cheated. I asked him why and he admitted that he lost focus on fixing things with his wife and allowed his lust to take over. Since this time, he and his wife have fixed things. Just my thoughts though.

Goof i wanna hold you till the fear in me subsidesflowerforyou


When you quote Dan Fogelberg (sp?), it makes me melt. flowerforyou laugh

chelsea466's photo
Tue 10/05/10 07:11 PM



Here's what's coming up next week on Dr Goofball.....


We will discuss horror films, latex fetishes, and gummy bears and how the combination of all three leads to unbelievable sex.




I'M there!!!!!!:heart:


I second that!!!!

Teditis's photo
Wed 10/06/10 06:05 PM

the matter wid us is were humans ....our primitive istincts kick in as we try to find da suitable partner...but there will always be conflict for our primitive selfs...da truth is lust is wat makes a man or women do deceit...if ive heard a man love two women..it will never be da same love for both of them...for the woman thought kicks in and makes da man regret...and vice versa for da woman...but y trully do we cheat..is it for looks ...sex...or we still searching for that true love

Big head/lil head... your choice, your rep.

baimbaallie's photo
Thu 10/07/10 06:37 AM
U r kind of right,we cheat out of fear,fear to make d wrong choice,but though we r humans there is something we must learn,unless u go through something or do something,u can never knw how to do it or solve it.Life is all about risks,so,u should risk it and see d outcome.

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 10/07/10 06:41 AM
This is one of those age old questions that no one really knows. If it is going to happen it is going to happen...... At times it is depends on the strength one has within......

I have not cheated but have been cheated on and they never could answer why ............it happens and life goes on. We just have to learn to pick up the pieces and move on....

DTHRomeo's photo
Thu 10/07/10 06:46 AM
Cuz there are azzholes in both genders?

TxsGal3333's photo
Thu 10/07/10 07:06 AM

Cuz there are azzholes in both genders?


Ding ding ding we have a winner.....:thumbsup:

So very true.....

cupidsvenom's photo
Thu 10/07/10 07:22 AM
ha i dunno about that. if u wanan be a cheater go ahead. i couldnt libe with the guilt. i have never cheated and i have beenc heated on more than once. and soon aftwer the apologies and tears start flwoing in once they been caught. i couldnt live with myself

cupidsvenom's photo
Thu 10/07/10 07:22 AM
a holes. no way...no u just have the luck of dating dirtbags

shawneewman's photo
Thu 10/07/10 10:04 AM
There is a lot of very good commentary on here about the topic.

Once I cheated on a girl that I was in a long relationship with. I think I cheated just to see if I could get the "hot chick". It was something stupid like that.

Anyway, my girl found out about it and was crushed!! I never had a woman break-down emotionally like that before and it shocked me.
That was when I realized the impact my actions - my selfish actions - had on another human being. It was a painful lesson.

I am grateful for having learned from it and grown. I have never cheated since.

So there you have it. For me, it was "selfish pride" that made me cheat.