Community > Dating & Relationships

Previous 1 2 3 4 Next

Topic: Devastated By Son's Marriage - Opinions Please
SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 08:52 AM Edited by SexiLuvinGirl on Sun 08/29/10 09:43 AM
Just wondering what you do? I became aware that my oldest son is gettin' married; he never even told me. I learned through my sisters and mom. He's gettin' married October 10th. He's already sent out invitations but didn't invite me to his wedding. I'm devastated. Saw him on FaceBook today and asked him if he was getting married. He said "yes". I let him know that I was hurt that he never told me; nor did he invite me. His response was, "I'd thought about inviting you for a year; and, wasn't sure you'd come?" Are you kiddin' me? Then, he preceded to continue saying that he'd told everyone he wanted me at his wedding. NOW, he invited me. As a mother, I am SO hurt. To top it off; my sister's never told me they'd gotten their invitations. Called one of my sister's today; her response was, "Well, I waiting to see if you got one." So? My question is this: "Would you go after NOT being invited initially?" My opinion is that he should have invited me; I shouldn't have had to bring it up. Otherwise, it's like inviting myself to his wedding, which obviously he didn't want me at to begin with. I am SO upset right now. With my son; my sisters. As some requested the rest of the story: The divorce between his Dad and I wasn't good. My son holds it against me; always did. David, my son, and I have NEVER had any issues other than living in different States. We aren't close; true. But, I'm his mother. And, family is the most precious thing that we have in life.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 08/29/10 08:54 AM
Go, we have one family,,,,,he invited you (whether it was when you wanted him to or not)

SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 08:55 AM
Go, we have one family,,,,,he invited you (whether it was when you wanted him to or not) I am so upset right now. I feel like I invited myself; and, don't feel right going at this point.

venusenvy Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 2984	Sun 08/29/10 09:01 AM
Gosh sometimes I think the only reason we have children is to experience a broken heart. They can do it like no other huh...sounds like hes in need of a good ear twist. Go to the wedding, enjoy yourself. If you dont you will eat yourself alive over it. Im sending you a big mom to mom hug in my heart

Teditis Joined Sun 03/07/10 Posts: 3597	Sun 08/29/10 09:03 AM Edited by Teditis on Sun 08/29/10 09:31 AM
To me (and not meaning to be critical), it sounds like there might be some underlying issues between you and your son. You might wanna investigate what those might be... But as to going to the wedding... I'd encourage you to go. However, I'd also recommend that any investigation of the issues be done before or after the wedding... not during. Keep it drama-free.

shoesmonkey Joined Sat 01/19/08 Posts: 7088	Sun 08/29/10 09:06 AM
Just wondering what you do? I became aware that my oldest son is gettin' married; he never even told me. I learned through my sisters and mom. He's gettin' married October 10th. He's already sent out invitations but didn't invite me to his wedding. I'm devastated. Saw him on FaceBook today and asked him if he was getting married. He said "yes". I let him know that I was hurt that he never told me; nor did he invite me. His response was, "I'd thought about inviting you for a year; and, wasn't sure you'd come?" Are you kiddin' me? Then, he preceded to continue saying that he'd told everyone he wanted me at his wedding. NOW, he invited me. As a mother, I am SO hurt. To top it off; my sister's never told me they'd gotten their invitations. Called one of my sister's today; her response was, "Well, I waiting to see if you got one." So? My question is this: "Would you go after NOT being invited initially?" My opinion is that he should have invited me; I shouldn't have had to bring it up. Otherwise, it's like inviting myself to his wedding, which obviously he didn't want me at to begin with. I am SO upset right now. With my son; my sisters. Sounds to me like you don't have a good relationship and, if you want to start having one, shut your trap and be polite. I KNOW this is RUDE but ....try to take it in.

Ted14621 Joined Mon 01/07/08 Posts: 2173	Sun 08/29/10 09:23 AM
To me (and not meaning to be critical), it sounds like there might be some underlying issues between you and your son. So, what is the rest of the story. Have you two been estranged?

MisKim323 Joined Sat 06/28/08 Posts: 14563	Sun 08/29/10 09:26 AM
Go....give him a big hug...keep the broken heart a secret and be the bigger person. A mother endures heartache, heartbreak, disappointment and fear all of their lives and must always show their strength to their children. I have five...I learned of my daughter's engagement through a text message....it was sad...but I accepted it.....just another "kid thing". Hope the wounds heal quickly.

SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 09:35 AM
To me (and not meaning to be critical), it sounds like there might be some underlying issues between you and your son. So, what is the rest of the story. Have you two been estranged? We live in different states. I don't see him a lot. He has held resentment towards me about the divorce between his dad and I. We talked about that today as well.

Dragoness Joined Wed 10/17/07 Posts: 23320	Sun 08/29/10 09:35 AM
Just wondering what you do? I became aware that my oldest son is gettin' married; he never even told me. I learned through my sisters and mom. He's gettin' married October 10th. He's already sent out invitations but didn't invite me to his wedding. I'm devastated. Saw him on FaceBook today and asked him if he was getting married. He said "yes". I let him know that I was hurt that he never told me; nor did he invite me. His response was, "I'd thought about inviting you for a year; and, wasn't sure you'd come?" Are you kiddin' me? Then, he preceded to continue saying that he'd told everyone he wanted me at his wedding. NOW, he invited me. As a mother, I am SO hurt. To top it off; my sister's never told me they'd gotten their invitations. Called one of my sister's today; her response was, "Well, I waiting to see if you got one." So? My question is this: "Would you go after NOT being invited initially?" My opinion is that he should have invited me; I shouldn't have had to bring it up. Otherwise, it's like inviting myself to his wedding, which obviously he didn't want me at to begin with. I am SO upset right now. With my son; my sisters. Obviously there are underlying issues here if he felt you wouldn't go. And thought about it for a year. So without knowing the whole story, no need to share, I would say that miscommunication between the two of you shouldn't mean that you cannot attend the wedding. Obviously you want to.

SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 09:36 AM Edited by SexiLuvinGirl on Sun 08/29/10 09:41 AM
To me (and not meaning to be critical), it sounds like there might be some underlying issues between you and your son. You might wanna investigate what those might be... But as to going to the wedding... I'd encourage you to go. However, I'd also recommend that any investigation of the issues be done before or after the wedding... not during. Keep it drama-free. He (we) do have. The divorce between his Dad and I; but, David, my son, didn't know that his Dad and I still talk; but, he realized that today.

PJMB123 Joined Mon 08/23/10 Posts: 1	Sun 08/29/10 09:37 AM
You need to go and be as charing and pleasant as you can be to everyone that you see! If you want and need your son in your life go to the wedding and work out the issue after the honeymoon. Your family had probably not told you so that you would not be hurt any more than you already have been. Good Luck, Hang tough and go to the wedding with smiles and good intentions.

SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 09:37 AM
Just wondering what you do? I became aware that my oldest son is gettin' married; he never even told me. I learned through my sisters and mom. He's gettin' married October 10th. He's already sent out invitations but didn't invite me to his wedding. I'm devastated. Saw him on FaceBook today and asked him if he was getting married. He said "yes". I let him know that I was hurt that he never told me; nor did he invite me. His response was, "I'd thought about inviting you for a year; and, wasn't sure you'd come?" Are you kiddin' me? Then, he preceded to continue saying that he'd told everyone he wanted me at his wedding. NOW, he invited me. As a mother, I am SO hurt. To top it off; my sister's never told me they'd gotten their invitations. Called one of my sister's today; her response was, "Well, I waiting to see if you got one." So? My question is this: "Would you go after NOT being invited initially?" My opinion is that he should have invited me; I shouldn't have had to bring it up. Otherwise, it's like inviting myself to his wedding, which obviously he didn't want me at to begin with. I am SO upset right now. With my son; my sisters. Obviously there are underlying issues here if he felt you wouldn't go. And thought about it for a year. So without knowing the whole story, no need to share, I would say that miscommunication between the two of you shouldn't mean that you cannot attend the wedding. Obviously you want to. We haven't been close; but, as I told him. I met my real mother once in my entire life. I invited her because it was the right thing to do. She was my mother. She didn't attend; but, at least I gave her the opportunity to make that decision on her own; and, didn't leave her out.

SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 09:38 AM
Just wondering what you do? I became aware that my oldest son is gettin' married; he never even told me. I learned through my sisters and mom. He's gettin' married October 10th. He's already sent out invitations but didn't invite me to his wedding. I'm devastated. Saw him on FaceBook today and asked him if he was getting married. He said "yes". I let him know that I was hurt that he never told me; nor did he invite me. His response was, "I'd thought about inviting you for a year; and, wasn't sure you'd come?" Are you kiddin' me? Then, he preceded to continue saying that he'd told everyone he wanted me at his wedding. NOW, he invited me. As a mother, I am SO hurt. To top it off; my sister's never told me they'd gotten their invitations. Called one of my sister's today; her response was, "Well, I waiting to see if you got one." So? My question is this: "Would you go after NOT being invited initially?" My opinion is that he should have invited me; I shouldn't have had to bring it up. Otherwise, it's like inviting myself to his wedding, which obviously he didn't want me at to begin with. I am SO upset right now. With my son; my sisters. Sounds to me like you don't have a good relationship and, if you want to start having one, shut your trap and be polite. I KNOW this is RUDE but ....try to take it in. There's never been any bad words spoken between my son and I. His father and I get along now. We were together for 10 years; ended badly; but, that's over. There's no resentment between his father and I at this point.

soufiehere Joined Sat 10/24/09 Posts: 45349	Sun 08/29/10 10:26 AM
Hun. I think you need to get over yourself. His wedding. His choice. He invited you already. You are waiting for blood. Why not make that his gift.. the pleasure of his day.

donnahenderson Joined Mon 05/25/09 Posts: 3	Sun 08/29/10 10:48 AM
The most important and basic need of a male is admiration and approval and he obviously thought you would disaprove. You must have voiced that about his new wife. So his response will be to stay away from you..even after the grandkids unless you sign on to accept his choices and be happy for him. As a mother of 3 sons who have chosen their life partners and had children...if you want to lose a son, reject his wife and if you want to enjoy your son and his children, accept his choice unconditionally and embrace her but I would try to meet with them beforehand to work that out so that you can really enjoy the wedding. Put your pride away and think of his feelings first. If he is making a wrong choice he will pay for it later but he needs you to be on his side now.

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Sun 08/29/10 10:49 AM
Obviously you wanted to be invite and go, otherwise, you wouldn't have asked him about his wedding. So go and wish the couple the best.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 08/29/10 10:51 AM
Just wondering what you do? I became aware that my oldest son is gettin' married; he never even told me. I learned through my sisters and mom. He's gettin' married October 10th. He's already sent out invitations but didn't invite me to his wedding. I'm devastated. Saw him on FaceBook today and asked him if he was getting married. He said "yes". I let him know that I was hurt that he never told me; nor did he invite me. His response was, "I'd thought about inviting you for a year; and, wasn't sure you'd come?" Are you kiddin' me? Then, he preceded to continue saying that he'd told everyone he wanted me at his wedding. NOW, he invited me. As a mother, I am SO hurt. To top it off; my sister's never told me they'd gotten their invitations. Called one of my sister's today; her response was, "Well, I waiting to see if you got one." So? My question is this: "Would you go after NOT being invited initially?" My opinion is that he should have invited me; I shouldn't have had to bring it up. Otherwise, it's like inviting myself to his wedding, which obviously he didn't want me at to begin with. I am SO upset right now. With my son; my sisters. As some requested the rest of the story: The divorce between his Dad and I wasn't good. My son holds it against me; always did. David, my son, and I have NEVER had any issues other than living in different States. We aren't close; true. But, I'm his mother. And, family is the most precious thing that we have in life. It sounds like there are issues here with your son that you have not been aware of. Or at least the depth of these issues. If I were you, I would stop being mad and hurt and go to the wedding and begin the repair work that obviously needs to be done here.

SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 10:55 AM
The most important and basic need of a male is admiration and approval and he obviously thought you would disaprove. You must have voiced that about his new wife. So his response will be to stay away from you..even after the grandkids unless you sign on to accept his choices and be happy for him. As a mother of 3 sons who have chosen their life partners and had children...if you want to lose a son, reject his wife and if you want to enjoy your son and his children, accept his choice unconditionally and embrace her but I would try to meet with them beforehand to work that out so that you can really enjoy the wedding. Put your pride away and think of his feelings first. If he is making a wrong choice he will pay for it later but he needs you to be on his side now. I'd never met her; and, neither has the rest of my family.

SexiLuvinGirl Joined Sat 07/31/10 Posts: 97	Sun 08/29/10 10:57 AM
Hun. I think you need to get over yourself. His wedding. His choice. He invited you already. You are waiting for blood. Why not make that his gift.. the pleasure of his day. Get over myself? What I find a little odd, is when people reach out for opinions when they're hurting, they get responses such as "get over yourself?".... Granted that is your opinion; but, people in general can be so cruel rather than offering a soft hearted and kind comment, it comes off as negative. I asked because I was having a difficult time; not because I wanted to hear this kind of response. Your right; your opinion. Guess that's all that matters.