My sister and her drunk husband own the place that our Mom lives. My Mom is on social security and only gets 608.00 a month so she doesnt pay rent, but she doesnt have anything left after she buy her groceries and meds and pays her few bills. So here is what happened.

I just moved into my new place and my Moms a/c quit working. So, she calls my sister and she says that they can not get her another a/c until she gets paid, which is the middle of September. I said Ok, and told my Mom to come and stay with me, because she can not handle the heat. Then my sister calls a couple days later and asks me to come over to Moms today and that we will fix the a/c, its a large window unit and it is probly 15 yrs old. I dont think there is any fixing to it, but I said ok. Then yesterday while I am at work she calls and leave me a message on my cell phone that she doesnt want to come and work on the a/c because she is tired and she wants to rest in between her school bus runs. Now I work 12 hour days, but I was willing to go and help them. Then she calls back and says that she is not going to fix the a/c or get her a new one. I was so pissed, I cant afford to get my Mom a new a/c unit. So now I am facing that my Mom may have to move in with me. Which I dont want but will do, because it is my Mom. Here is my question, I dont want my sister on my property and I know when I tell my Mom this she will get upset. What should I do, should I tell my Mom or just tell my sister that she is no longer welcomed at my home no matter what? She is my Moms favorite, so I know that she will not be happy. Any advice will be appreciated.

How much would a new a/c cost?.........

its about 500.00 that I just dont have right now because I just bought a house and I am broke, but they have the money. Thats the part that pisses me off so much. Its really not alot in the long run. If I had it she would already have a new a/c.

First, I would disown this person as my 'sister'. She's not acting very 'sisterly' or 'daughterly' ... As for the AC, I agree that, if it's 15 years old, there's no 'fixing'. At that age, it's a Freon unit and Freon - if you can find it - will set you back at least 50 bucks per can or more, and it's not an 'authorized' refrigerant now. R-134a is. I realize buying a new unit isn't financially feasible, but you may want to check with your local Council on Aging or whatever they call it, or Catholic Charities - there are agencies here that give people in your Mom's situation a FREE air conditioner if they meet the requirements. Check into it and see if that's available in your area. It can make all the difference.

Check within the county you live there is normally programs to help the elderly with purchase of ac units. Or if she goes to a church then ask the pastor if they know of anyone that can help. Might be surprised who in the area may donate their services in order to get it working or even donate a unit.

Also try craigslist I got one for $100 that would have cost me $500. Many times there are other options.

To me the issue with your sister would be my least concern I would focus on your mothers welfare and just be civil to siblings if there is a problem between you too.


There are always solutions to problems if one is willing to find them..

Thank you I will, I havent even thought about those agencies. I know where both of them are at.

Thank you so much, I will try those agencies, I didnt even think about them, and I did look on craigslist in my area and right now no one has any for sale, but I look every day.

Personally disowning your sister would be a very infantile thing to do. As for not allowing her on your property, that could be a choice.

What does the not letting your sister on your property solve?

As to the a/c, I see others have given you the idea of contacting agencies. Human services, Elderly services, Charities, etc...

Thank you for your advice, I just dont want any contact with someone that has so little care for her Mom. I just dont know how to handle it so that my Mom isnt upset with me.

Who says you have to 'own' your sister in the first place?

You answer your sister's calls...therefore you CHOOSE to communicate with her...irrespective of whether it's to do with your Mum...you answer the calls.

I'm a bit rattled by your post...

You don't want your Mum living with you...you are p*ssed off with your sister who gives your mother rent free accomodation, and who has stated she can't afford to fix the air con until Sept...then decided not to...(isn't fall on it's way, then winter?)hmmm...

I hope I am wrong...I hear you don't want any responsibility...just the right to whinge about your 'mum's favourite child'...who has generously provided accomodation for your Mum, that YOU don't want to do...

fascinating, this sibling rivalry thing...

salvage your family relationships,, its worth much more than an AC, after all this 'uncaring' sister has up till now been providing a home for your mother and we shouldnt ASSUME what others have during these times or how much of it they can spend,,,,,

Catty:
Punishing everyone until they agree with you
is not very wise. And perhaps motivated by
not being 'Mom's favorite.'

You could have Mom over while you look for a
way to cool her down.
There are many city agencies that cover things
like this for free, PARTICULARLY right now as
the heat can cause older folks to succumb.

You might try that instead of wasting all your
energy on getting even.

ok first of all, I dont have a problem with my Mom living with me. She has lived with me several times in the last 20 yrs. The other thing is that the place that my Mom stays at is falling down. They refuse to do anything to fix it, all of the windows leak, and the walls are rotting. I have offered in the past to help fix the place but they said that they didnt want to do anything to fix it. I even offered to buy my Mom another moble home to put on their land, but they said that if I did that then it would be theirs, well that is not going to happen, it would have been my Mom. Its not sibling rivalry, it is called doing what is right. My Mom knows that she can stay with me as long as she feels she needs too!!!!!!!

Im not trying to get even. I just dont understand how someone can be so uncaring, and if you could see the place that my Mom lives you would understand. We have plans for her to move to my place, but she refuses to move right now. she doesnt want to move until she cant take care of herself.

Your right I dont want her to move in with me right now, but I would do it in a heart beat because she is my Mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Does your Mum hate it there?...How old is she?...Is she physically or mentally incapacitated?...Does she live independently?...Does she care that the house leaks is old and crumbly?

she likes the property, just not the moble home, she is 66 and is in poor health. she doesnt drive anymore, and she stays in and out of the hospital. we have talked many times about her moving in with me, but she doesnt want to yet. I have to respect that, plus she has 3 dogs, a horse, a pot belly pig, a goat, and a bird, so its not like I can just pack her up and move her. I moved closer to take care of her. She has asked my sister and her husband to fix the leaks or to let me buy her another moble home but they told her that if I did that and put it on their property, that when something happened to her, that the moble home would be theirs, so she told me not to buy her one. there is alot more going on then you know, and I dont have the time to go into it all. But I do have a right to feel the way that I do.

Thankyou for sharing a little more of the story...your OP really didn't shed much light on your Mum's situation...only how cranky you are with your sister...

it just upsets me that she doesnt care. she actually told me that she didnt care if our Mom had to live the rest of her life without a/c. I just didnt want to put everything out on the internet, but oh well.