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| Topic: Evidence against evolution. | |
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Gotta love "The Onion" and people who take things way to seriously.
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well, the dna for man and chimps is 99% the same...with orangutans, its about 98% the same... God made us this way, to trick us into believing in evolution. Its another test of our Faith. We can prove how loyal we are to God by accepting his Word and denying the evidence. 
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(Pssssst ... hey ... people ... the OP is SATIRE ... it's not real ... ) That's what Satan wants you to think! 
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Dick Cheney in USA and Stephen Harper in Canada. No way they are naturally evolved or designed intelligently.
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Edited by
wux
on
Thu 07/08/10 10:03 PM
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I'd love to see some sources to back up that claim about the 'fifty times higher' suicide rate ... that's like sayin' the suicide rate in the Seattle area from six months of rain 'n fog 'n stuff is the highest in the country ... or that the dental profession has the highest suicide rate 'cuz they can't deal with constantly inflicting pain on people ... Got some links ... ? Oh - no - not those 'Little Sizzler' sausage links ... I got no links. My shrink told me this in 1983. I had said to him, "so big deal, in Canada the suicide rate is 2 per 100,000 people, in Hungary it is 3 or 4. Big deal." He replied, "Bugger it, if it's 2 in a random part of the world, then it's 50 to 100 in Hungary. Google is your friend. In two tries you will get the real numbers. I was winging it. True as I stand here right now. Theories abound about high rates of suicide due to climate, daylight hours, profession (like dentists), etc. Incidentally, the lowest suicide rate of any profession is the President of the United States of America, and the second lowest profession is executioners. Hungarians and Finns are enigmatic. They are happy peoples. They are resilient people. Their depression rates, or clinical depression rates, are no higher than those of any other peoples, on the average. Their car accident rates correspond to their locale in Europe. Alcoholism, gambling and crime rates are the same. Their suicide rates are 50 times the world norm. Child abuse among the clergy is about fair. (Figure of exact multiple stands to be corrected.) No theories exist to explain this anomaly. Old theories have been tested and shot down. A personality trait that is associated with high rates of suicide is bigotry. Hungarians are no more racists than Ukrainians, Slovaks, Austrians or Voivodinians. |
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and i don't think god will send you to hell for believing in evolution... True. I just spoke to Darwin, and he told me that during Sunday Tea he sits on the right of God. (The right hand side of God is two million miles long, there is room for everybody.) D emailed me a few snapshots of the divine polo game on Easter Sunday -- $100000 apiece if anyone wants a copy. Prepaid to a numbered Swiss bank account. |
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Hey, hey, hey!! If God is omnipresent, as He truly says, then there IS NO RIGHT HAND SIDE OF GOD, just like it's ludicrous to say "the right hand side of space".
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Hey, hey, hey!! If God is omnipresent, as He truly says, then there IS NO RIGHT HAND SIDE OF GOD, just like it's ludicrous to say "the right hand side of space". God's an amputee ... ? Dang ... |
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ALBUQUERQUE, NM—The process of evolution, through which single-celled organisms slowly developed over billions of years into exponentially more sophisticated forms of life, has inexplicably culminated in local Albuquerque resident Mitch Szabo, leading evolutionary biologists reported Monday.
According to baffled sources within the scientific community, the exact same mechanisms responsible for some of nature's most spectacularly ingenious adaptations have apparently also produced a 35-year-old office assistant who has only worn pants that actually fit him a total of five times in his adult life. "The identical processes that have given us the remarkable camouflage of the stick insect and the magnificent plumage of the bird-of-paradise have, it would seem, also given us a man who cannot scramble an egg," University of Pennsylvania biologist Ann Goldwyn-Ross said. "Despite evolution's emphasis on the inheritance and replication of advantageous traits, a man walks among us today who sweats profusely in any temperature and went to see Anger Management in theaters twice." "Mitch poses a real challenge to the whole notion of survival of the fittest," Goldwyn-Ross added in reference to the biological triumph who has never held a full-time job for longer than seven months. "He's turning evolutionary theory on its head." Enlarge Image Cosmic dust spent eons coalescing into galaxies in a complex process that had the unlikely outcome of Mitch. Indeed, scientists said Mitch is perplexing on multiple fronts. For instance, in studying his weird, asymmetrical gait, researchers have been unable to discern any particular locomotive advantage he has over the more effective and less stigmatizing forms of self-propulsion exhibited by other bipeds. Researchers have also failed to determine how the development of the nuanced communication system of language, itself a product of humanity's unique capacity for abstract thought, ultimately led to Mitch's strong preference for the term "exsqueeze me" over "excuse me." Some have reportedly even begun to wonder if the phenomenon of Mitch necessitates a modification of accepted evolutionary theory. "It's a given that natural selection, mutation, and genetic drift have interacted in some elegant way to create this man who smacks his lips pretty much constantly and still listens to Papa Roach," Professor Dan Robbins of Yale University said. "And yet, paradoxically, that seems impossible considering all the undesirable qualities evolution is supposed to filter out." Added Robbins: "I mean, did you guys see his new haircut?" Despite initial efforts to understand how the Albuquerque native came into being, one researcher told reporters that even a modification of Darwinian theory might be insufficient to account for Mitch. "I know this is controversial, but we have to consider the possibility that Darwin was wrong, " said Victor Siles, a geneticist at the University of California–Berkeley. "Nothing we currently know about DNA, no fully mapped genome, can account for the presence of someone whose apartment smells that much like Chef Boyardee." Creationists, meanwhile, have been surprisingly muted in their celebration of a man whose existence would seem to disprove so much of evolutionary theory. "It's great that Mitch has been so disruptive to the evolutionist camp," Jim Moore of the Colorado Springs–based Genesis Ministries said. "But quite honestly, there's no way we can explain him in terms of a perfect or loving God, either." "We're just going to sit this one out," Moore added. When approached for comment, Mitch himself shrugged and asked if he'd be getting any money for this interview. Technically everything we base our life on could be wrong......including the bible we accept what we are told....we accept the only correct answer mathematically Parenthases Exponents Multiplication Division Addition Subtraction, E=MC squared, economically, colors words.....etc. all theories and names invented and written for and by by the humans.......you got any definitive proof for me.....don't think so.....Darwin's explanation of evolution could definitely be wrong.....but all species evolve eventually.....who thought of using a pencil or pen to write.....who started the first fire and figured out oxygen, sparks, and dried forrest matter could cook food? Just because you see does not mean existence.....as sight in science is reflection of light........ |
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evolution is always at work, you just don't see it because your blinded by "faith". What are you going on about here, Moe? Were you talking to Kings_Knight? Your post followed his, and you didn't address anyone. Have you read the OP? thats what satan wants me to think, and i'm ok with that Lets try this again. You made a comment, in which you addressed someone. That is, you used the word 'you'. Who were you addressing? it was you... your answer to everything is "thats what satan wants you to think" i know you have your beliefs, and i respect that, but my beliefe is that if your blinded by your faith, your missing a beautiful world around you. Hey, this almost resembles a conversation! In that: I asked you a direct question, and finally you answered it. You still haven't indicated whether you've read the OP, nor whether you had read the comments in sequence before reaching your conclusions regarding my beliefs Compare the diction and sentence structure of my first three posts (after the OP) with the 4th and fifth, and remember that this is the internet and you must compensate for the lack of intonation. What do you really think I believe? Satire is an illusive beast... somewhat like bigfoot. Those who see him do not know what he is thinking. |
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Off topic but, still in the genre of your post. If man evolved from the apes, why are there STILL apes? Should they have not also evolved?? Is evolution so particular in its species as to which ones move up the line? Do some have to lag on the evolutionary ladder? Man did not evolve from apes. Humans and apes share a common primate ancestor. It is possible for one species to split into two (say, geographic isolation) and for one of those two species to undergo many changes, and the other to undergo little change. This would result in a situation where one species 'evolves from' another species, while that ancestral species is still around. As far as 'up the line' and 'lagging', these sound like ideas of hierarchy and advancement which are not part of the true evolutionary perspective. In terms of evolution, one species is not 'better' than another - only 'better adapted for survival in some particular niche'. man evolved from what now is called a marmoset, a raccoon looking thing in africa, and all evolution comes from splitting of another species. zebra's and horses, bears - raccoons - wolverines,the lists goes on. they are finding new breeds of animals all the time that are offshoots from other animals. they even think they know how the dna changes from mother to child, a mutation caused by certain particles from the sun. if anyone wants references, just let me know, i will get them for you. as a matter of fact, here's on now. http://www.asylum.com/2010/04/23/ninja-slug-and-a-lungless-frog-discovered-in-borneo/ |
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ALBUQUERQUE, NM—The process of evolution, through which single-celled organisms slowly developed over billions of years into exponentially more sophisticated forms of life, has inexplicably culminated in local Albuquerque resident Mitch Szabo, leading evolutionary biologists reported Monday.
According to baffled sources within the scientific community, the exact same mechanisms responsible for some of nature's most spectacularly ingenious adaptations have apparently also produced a 35-year-old office assistant who has only worn pants that actually fit him a total of five times in his adult life. "The identical processes that have given us the remarkable camouflage of the stick insect and the magnificent plumage of the bird-of-paradise have, it would seem, also given us a man who cannot scramble an egg," University of Pennsylvania biologist Ann Goldwyn-Ross said. "Despite evolution's emphasis on the inheritance and replication of advantageous traits, a man walks among us today who sweats profusely in any temperature and went to see Anger Management in theaters twice." "Mitch poses a real challenge to the whole notion of survival of the fittest," Goldwyn-Ross added in reference to the biological triumph who has never held a full-time job for longer than seven months. "He's turning evolutionary theory on its head." Enlarge Image Cosmic dust spent eons coalescing into galaxies in a complex process that had the unlikely outcome of Mitch. Indeed, scientists said Mitch is perplexing on multiple fronts. For instance, in studying his weird, asymmetrical gait, researchers have been unable to discern any particular locomotive advantage he has over the more effective and less stigmatizing forms of self-propulsion exhibited by other bipeds. Researchers have also failed to determine how the development of the nuanced communication system of language, itself a product of humanity's unique capacity for abstract thought, ultimately led to Mitch's strong preference for the term "exsqueeze me" over "excuse me." Some have reportedly even begun to wonder if the phenomenon of Mitch necessitates a modification of accepted evolutionary theory. "It's a given that natural selection, mutation, and genetic drift have interacted in some elegant way to create this man who smacks his lips pretty much constantly and still listens to Papa Roach," Professor Dan Robbins of Yale University said. "And yet, paradoxically, that seems impossible considering all the undesirable qualities evolution is supposed to filter out." Added Robbins: "I mean, did you guys see his new haircut?" Despite initial efforts to understand how the Albuquerque native came into being, one researcher told reporters that even a modification of Darwinian theory might be insufficient to account for Mitch. "I know this is controversial, but we have to consider the possibility that Darwin was wrong, " said Victor Siles, a geneticist at the University of California–Berkeley. "Nothing we currently know about DNA, no fully mapped genome, can account for the presence of someone whose apartment smells that much like Chef Boyardee." Creationists, meanwhile, have been surprisingly muted in their celebration of a man whose existence would seem to disprove so much of evolutionary theory. "It's great that Mitch has been so disruptive to the evolutionist camp," Jim Moore of the Colorado Springs–based Genesis Ministries said. "But quite honestly, there's no way we can explain him in terms of a perfect or loving God, either." "We're just going to sit this one out," Moore added. When approached for comment, Mitch himself shrugged and asked if he'd be getting any money for this interview. Technically everything we base our life on could be wrong......including the bible we accept what we are told....we accept the only correct answer mathematically Parenthases Exponents Multiplication Division Addition Subtraction, E=MC squared, economically, colors words.....etc. all theories and names invented and written for and by by the humans.......you got any definitive proof for me.....don't think so.....Darwin's explanation of evolution could definitely be wrong.....but all species evolve eventually.....who thought of using a pencil or pen to write.....who started the first fire and figured out oxygen, sparks, and dried forrest matter could cook food? Just because you see does not mean existence.....as sight in science is reflection of light........ very nice  
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well, the dna for man and chimps is 99% the same...with orangutans, its about 98% the same... God made us this way, to trick us into believing in evolution. Its another test of our Faith. We can prove how loyal we are to God by accepting his Word and denying the evidence. God is such a cheeky little devil... |
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Satire is an illusive beast... somewhat like bigfoot. Those who see him do not know what he is thinking. I'm astounded at how easy it is to unintentionally troll people who simply aren't paying attention. I've learned to be cautious engaging in conversation with people who demonstrate a tendency to jump to conclusions based on very little information, as well as those who lack of willingness to re-examine their assumptions. An avoidance of direct questions is another red flag that your conversation partner might not be willing to exercise care, deliberateness, or even honesty in their thinking and speaking. For anyone of moderate intelligence who read this entire thread sequentially, the inconsistencies suggestive of sarcasm would have been obvious. I know it would have been simpler to have just told him, but I prefer to see evidence of other peoples ability to find flaws in their own thinking. |
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... Off topic but, still in the genre of your post. If man evolved from the apes, why are there STILL apes? ... Man did not evolve from apes. Humans and apes share a common primate ancestor. man evolved from what now is called a marmoset,
In this context, the audience might misunderstand that statement as suggesting that the marmoset is our most recent distinct ancestor species. IIRC, some people believe that was homo erectus. Its true that the marmoset is probably one of our ancestor species, along with a huge number of other (mostly extinct) species. I'm guessing you've directed attention to this one (of many) ancestor species because it is one of the more recent ancestors which is still around. all evolution comes from splitting of another species. zebra's and horses, bears - raccoons - wolverines,the lists goes on.
I'm curious what definition of 'evolution' you are using when you make this claim. One (maybe) could say that 'all species diversification' comes from the splitting of another species species, but evolution occurs regardless of whether a species splits. dna changes from mother to child, a mutation caused by certain particles from the sun.
There are several causes of mutations, including transcription errors, mutation causing chemicals, and radiation of various kinds possibly including terrestrial and IIRC cosmic rays. Broader forms of mutation can be brought about by viruses. I'm assuming the 'particles from the sun' reference is related to cosmic rays. |
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Edited by
Kings_Knight
on
Fri 07/09/10 07:13 PM
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We won't even dip our toe into the waters of mitochondrial DNA in this thread ... It WOULD be nice to get involved with whether or not 'Homo Habilis' really WAS a good toolmaker ...
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This sounds like an Onion article!
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We won't even dip our toe into the waters of mitochondrial DNA in this thread ... It WOULD be nice to get involved with whether or not 'Homo Habilis' really WAS a good toolmaker ... Mitochondrial DNA and the power house of the cell....the battery...powering the protons and electrons of all beings nice |
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We won't even dip our toe into the waters of mitochondrial DNA in this thread ... It WOULD be nice to get involved with whether or not 'Homo Habilis' really WAS a good toolmaker ... Mitochondrial DNA and the power house of the cell....the battery...powering the protons and electrons of all beings nice Yeah, mitochondrial DNA ... it's DNA 'like Mama used to make' ... |
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(Pssssst ... hey ... people ... the OP is SATIRE ... it's not real ... ) 
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