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| Topic: Did I over~react? | |
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Nuffing wrong wif swearing....it's sometimes nothing more than venting frustration...and NOT intended to be aggressive...perhaps the filters with which you veiw the world is what creates the appearance of aggression? Culturally we aussies swear every time we open our mouths...and we rarely get aggressive... Assertive is a whole different kettle of fish, though...  Thanks for the analysis Dr. Schmuck :-) I guess you've got me all figured out.  Well that was hardly necessary.... |
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He got scared because he thought you two would shag, and you would see how little he really was.
 
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Possibly?
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Last night I invited this guy I have only been hanging out with for about a week to go to the races, he said he couldn't that he was working on his bike. No big deal, I continued with my plan to go. Later on in the evening he sends a text asking what I am doing, told him I was heading to the races, he wanted to know if I wanted to get together later, I did so I said I did. We met last year went out a few times he was just coming out of a relationship, I wasn't interested in being a rebound, we kinda just quit talking. He sends me text through out the evening we agree that I will leave the races early and hook up. He sends a text asking if I am still at the races, tells me where he is. I send a text saying that I am leaving the races. After I have already left, 20 minutes passes and he sends another text saying "no hurry, I will call you later" It pissed me off because I left what I was doing to go hang out with him and he blew me off. I sent him a text telling him that even though I like him I think that is ****ed up because I left something that I was doing to hang with him. He then sends me a text stating that he likes me too but he isn't looking for a committed relationship right now. One we haven't went out long enough for me to even consider that, I do enjoy his company but I am also enjoying being unattached for such a time as this. I sent him back a text saying I was not that woman, he needed to grow up and to not bother calling me again. I thought he was rude, I am pissed at myself for doing something I never do which is change plans. It seemed to me that he was trying to keep me around in case he couldn't find someone better and that he thought I might be a late night booty call. Okay, I've held my tongue long enough. Let me get this straight: He texted you to tell you that he wanted to hang out, you were at a race and busy, he texts you to say he is available, you text him to say 'okay,' he texts you that he just wants to remain 'friends,' you text him that he is 'wasting' your time. See, this is why bloody English is important. From what I can gather you jumped the gun not him, this would be totally different if somewhere in this you said that he didn't show or something, but I don't see that anywhere in here. |
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Jess642 you are probably right. I do own my choices and as far as dating goes, I probably do need to get wiser. I haven't dated in years so this is all new territory for me. Regardless of what I did, I still think he was ****ing rude! I agree he was rude....although the game of 'control' was well played... you dangled a 'bait' (the races, a date-ish type hangout)...he swam away, (was busy with other stuff)...he changed the 'hook' (constant nagging via texting, giving the impression of regretting his declination of the date, and paying you attention)..and when you bit, he withdrew, (you left the races, said I am available...he changed tack..took back control)... ...the trick now is to NOT respond to the next text or call from him...or the whole powerplay control thing starts again. |
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Nuffing wrong wif swearing....it's sometimes nothing more than venting frustration...and NOT intended to be aggressive...perhaps the filters with which you veiw the world is what creates the appearance of aggression? Culturally we aussies swear every time we open our mouths...and we rarely get aggressive... Assertive is a whole different kettle of fish, though... Thanks for the analysis Dr. Schmuck :-) I guess you've got me all figured out. Do not think she was talking to you, just stating her opinion on cussing.....I have never seen Jess as "judgemental of anyone" just stating her opinion in an honest way just like all of us rednecks in the US. Australian are used to being tough because they live tough.....upfront people from what I have seen.....personally I think Jess rocks and if I rolled that way she would be my first pick..... |
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Nuffing wrong wif swearing....it's sometimes nothing more than venting frustration...and NOT intended to be aggressive...perhaps the filters with which you veiw the world is what creates the appearance of aggression? Culturally we aussies swear every time we open our mouths...and we rarely get aggressive... Assertive is a whole different kettle of fish, though... Aussie's and rednecks do have something in common!  OMG!!! Do we ever!!!... Barb, call me Lee...everyone else does...to my face...I think it's Biaaatch behind my back...  Lovely to make your acquaintance... gotta go...it's 6.22am Sunday and the sun FINALLY decided to get up...  Only people that don't know you would ever call you a "Biaaatch". Great lady, enjoy her writings & thoughts. Proud to call her a friend. |
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Nuffing wrong wif swearing....it's sometimes nothing more than venting frustration...and NOT intended to be aggressive...perhaps the filters with which you veiw the world is what creates the appearance of aggression? Culturally we aussies swear every time we open our mouths...and we rarely get aggressive... Assertive is a whole different kettle of fish, though... Aussie's and rednecks do have something in common! OMG!!! Do we ever!!!... Barb, call me Lee...everyone else does...to my face...I think it's Biaaatch behind my back... Lovely to make your acquaintance... gotta go...it's 6.22am Sunday and the sun FINALLY decided to get up... Only people that don't know you would ever call you a "Biaaatch". Great lady, enjoy her writings & thoughts. Proud to call her a friend. I will second that.....I love me some Lee..... |
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I appreciate the feedback. I can't tell you how pissed I got. I was also angry with myself that I changed my plans. It just seems that when I showed an interest in him beyond just friends he acted like an ***. some people do that, male and female it seems to be an ego boost.. but some just don't realize they're doing it... Not worth any further thought for you... NEXT! 
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BTW if the guy blows you off once, don't be surprised if he does it again. Good luck!! "The first time a man shows you who he is believe him"  (Oprah)
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Edited by
wirebarb
on
Sun 07/04/10 08:42 AM
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We had a conversation about meeting later. We were texting because I was at the dirt track races which makes verbal phone conversation almost impossible! I did not jump the gun, however I did fail to mention that we actually talked! |
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You have every right to be upset. Off with his head !
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Okay, I've held my tongue long enough. Let me get this straight: He texted you to tell you that he wanted to hang out, you were at a race and busy, he texts you to say he is available, you text him to say 'okay,' he texts you that he just wants to remain 'friends,' you text him that he is 'wasting' your time. See, this is why bloody English is important. From what I can gather you jumped the gun not him, this would be totally different if somewhere in this you said that he didn't show or something, but I don't see that anywhere in here. You forgot to mention that when this awesome lady agreed to leave what she was doing, just to meet this guy, he told he not to hurry. If a woman changed her plans for me, I'd be there to pick her up, and treat her like gold for the remainder of the day. If a woman is going to change her plans just for me, I want to make damn sure it was worth it. |
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Edited by
Fade2Black
on
Sun 07/04/10 09:06 AM
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Okay, I've held my tongue long enough. Let me get this straight: He texted you to tell you that he wanted to hang out, you were at a race and busy, he texts you to say he is available, you text him to say 'okay,' he texts you that he just wants to remain 'friends,' you text him that he is 'wasting' your time. See, this is why bloody English is important. From what I can gather you jumped the gun not him, this would be totally different if somewhere in this you said that he didn't show or something, but I don't see that anywhere in here. You forgot to mention that when this awesome lady agreed to leave what she was doing, just to meet this guy, he told he not to hurry. If a woman changed her plans for me, I'd be there to pick her up, and treat her like gold for the remainder of the day. If a woman is going to change her plans just for me, I want to make damn sure it was worth it. ((( Cap ))) Ya I see a red flag all over this. Honestly .. once he saw she was willing to change it up for him .. he pulls back? puhleeeeeeeeze.  GAME OVER 
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(((Fade)))
Guys. I challange all of you to disagree with me. |
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sadly to me sounds like a power play and he just wanted to see how far he could get you to go.. if he wanted to see yeah the bike could have waited..it was a dick move but i geuss thats what immature people gotta do to make them selfs feel good.. you deserve better then that
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Last night I invited this guy I have only been hanging out with for about a week to go to the races, he said he couldn't that he was working on his bike. No big deal, I continued with my plan to go. Later on in the evening he sends a text asking what I am doing, told him I was heading to the races, he wanted to know if I wanted to get together later, I did so I said I did. We met last year went out a few times he was just coming out of a relationship, I wasn't interested in being a rebound, we kinda just quit talking. He sends me text through out the evening we agree that I will leave the races early and hook up. He sends a text asking if I am still at the races, tells me where he is. I send a text saying that I am leaving the races. After I have already left, 20 minutes passes and he sends another text saying "no hurry, I will call you later" It pissed me off because I left what I was doing to go hang out with him and he blew me off. I sent him a text telling him that even though I like him I think that is ****ed up because I left something that I was doing to hang with him. He then sends me a text stating that he likes me too but he isn't looking for a committed relationship right now. One we haven't went out long enough for me to even consider that, I do enjoy his company but I am also enjoying being unattached for such a time as this. I sent him back a text saying I was not that woman, he needed to grow up and to not bother calling me again. I thought he was rude, I am pissed at myself for doing something I never do which is change plans. It seemed to me that he was trying to keep me around in case he couldn't find someone better and that he thought I might be a late night booty call. Okay, I've held my tongue long enough. Let me get this straight: He texted you to tell you that he wanted to hang out, you were at a race and busy, he texts you to say he is available, you text him to say 'okay,' he texts you that he just wants to remain 'friends,' you text him that he is 'wasting' your time. See, this is why bloody English is important. From what I can gather you jumped the gun not him, this would be totally different if somewhere in this you said that he didn't show or something, but I don't see that anywhere in here. Fear I think he said the "friend" thing after all the other stuff... There may have been a miscommunication in that he didn't respond for 20 minutes but I still think he had a game going on... Maybe better planning was needed on his part but I don't think she jumped the gun, she did everything she said she was going to... |
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Nuffing wrong wif swearing....it's sometimes nothing more than venting frustration...and NOT intended to be aggressive...perhaps the filters with which you veiw the world is what creates the appearance of aggression? Culturally we aussies swear every time we open our mouths...and we rarely get aggressive... Assertive is a whole different kettle of fish, though... Thanks for the analysis Dr. Schmuck :-) I guess you've got me all figured out. Is 'Dr Schmuck' Americanese for 'Biaaatch'???... Ironically, I have observed when someone must re-act in a derogative way....the reciprient of the derogation is usually spot on, hit a raw nerve, hit the nail on the head...was f*ckin' CORRECT!!!!!!!! then again...........I could be wrong, and just a Dr of Schmuck... 
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Last night I invited this guy I have only been hanging out with for about a week to go to the races, he said he couldn't that he was working on his bike. No big deal, I continued with my plan to go. Later on in the evening he sends a text asking what I am doing, told him I was heading to the races, he wanted to know if I wanted to get together later, I did so I said I did. We met last year went out a few times he was just coming out of a relationship, I wasn't interested in being a rebound, we kinda just quit talking. He sends me text through out the evening we agree that I will leave the races early and hook up. He sends a text asking if I am still at the races, tells me where he is. I send a text saying that I am leaving the races. After I have already left, 20 minutes passes and he sends another text saying "no hurry, I will call you later" It pissed me off because I left what I was doing to go hang out with him and he blew me off. I sent him a text telling him that even though I like him I think that is ****ed up because I left something that I was doing to hang with him. He then sends me a text stating that he likes me too but he isn't looking for a committed relationship right now. One we haven't went out long enough for me to even consider that, I do enjoy his company but I am also enjoying being unattached for such a time as this. I sent him back a text saying I was not that woman, he needed to grow up and to not bother calling me again. I thought he was rude, I am pissed at myself for doing something I never do which is change plans. It seemed to me that he was trying to keep me around in case he couldn't find someone better and that he thought I might be a late night booty call. Way to nip it in the bud. You save him and yourself some more disappointment. Way to let him know that you are a human who needs to be treated like one. 
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Ya I see a red flag all over this. Honestly .. once he saw she was willing to change it up for him .. he pulls back? puhleeeeeeeeze. GAME OVER Spot on Judy! He was playing games and seeing if he had the power to make you jump for him, Wirebarb.  It's too bad people do this kind of stuff but at least you know. NEXT! 
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