Anyone can be a father, the question is who do YOU feel has been a DAD
to you?

As the song says..."You're Daddy's little girl..."

True it is your day...but there is no avoiding talking to both of them
and explaining your decision...and reaffirming why each of them is
special to you.

It's OK to show each of them how difficult it was to make this decision,
but YOU must own the decision.

Hope this helps.

i can understand the logic but if you chose

one over the other

expect a riff to develop

think hard b4 doing so

either offer it to both and let them bow out

or don't offer it to either of them

adj4u...

thats exactly what im worried about!

I dont want my dad or my step dad to resent my wedding day for the rest
of their lives...just because I wanted to have my way for a day

buttons, i know Im not alone with this dilema.

Perhaps this is the age "tradition" will change

Chollie, it does help...its definately make me think

well i would do like my daughter did

she said well i want ya both

and if yer not man enough to do it

then that is your problem not mine

i guess she told him the same

but hey what do i know

lol adj4u

If I said that "man enough" Id get my butt whipped by two belts! LOL

might be easier for you to think of your child... its your child getting
married..now think back to your childhood.. and of your your fatherly
figures.. make them your childs fatherly figures and decide whom is the
best person...

well katie i guess you just answered yer question

niether of them are good enough then


somethin to think about

It's not about having YOUR way...It's about honoring the person who
waited up for you at night, held you when your had heartbreak, held your
hair back when you were sick, and has loved you unconditionally and
respected and supported the decisions you have made in your life.

Don't worry about what someone else is going to "remember" the rest of
their life, make the memories you will treasure the rest of YOUR life.

No one said life was going to be easy (I don't think? )and you
will face many more difficult decisions as you go through life.

Suggestion: Have you been able to talk to your mom about this dilemma?
Can she listen and be impartial?

TT I do not envy you but....
It should be your way for that day and to get there you must makes your
chioces and be done, tell them to take it or leave it. Ask them both to
walk you down and tell them that your choice is both but if someone
decides that they don't want to then so be it, only the other will. If
one decides not to theN you know who your real dad is because if they
love you they will put thier differences aside for that day.If you get
no-where with that then your true DAD (she is your mom) will take the
stage and do what she has always done, BE THERE FOR YOU.
In my house growing up was my mom and her five daughters and she was our
mom and dad and we were her daughters and sons. She played every roll
and we were ladies and tomboys and that was all we needed. So if it is
your mom that you really want then ask her first and don't bother with
men. And just let them know that. Again if they love you they will
understand.
Good luck,
Marci

Twilight honey, go whats in your heart and what u feel most comfortable
with!!!!!!

yer wrong chollie


the biological father may have had no choice in the matter

just because he could not be there

he should be punished

how come you are blaming him

for the mistakes of the past

he more have been there to do those things

if the marriage would not have ended

this is a tangled web that has been weaved by
the adults of unsuspecting children

it is much deeper than who was there

did he pay his support
did he show up for visitaion
did he love you and show it

so is it his fault he could not hug you when you got hurt

was it his fault he could not give the boy that took ya out on
the first date a mean knowing look

and on and on

katie good luck i would not want to be in your predicament

i guess i am a selfish person idk, may b i am, my bb is only 11 months
old n i have been trying to see her and i am not been alowed one of the
things i toght of when all this happend was all the things i would miss
of her life mainly cuz my father wasnt never thir and my mom was but she
didnt care for the stuff i did, any ways point is this is one of the
things that pains me i would miss walking her down the aile when she
gets merried

First of all let me say that this is your day to shine. I am a DJ and
now days you can do what ever makes your day special. I seen people have
both dads walk them and I have seen the mother do it as well. My wife's
dad is no longer alive so she was going to have her two boys do it until
they started being butt heads so she had her brother in law do it. I
have even seen the groom change his last name to hers. Bottom line is
that tradition can only go as far as the situation. You can do what you
want. If it were me I would be totally honest with everyone and tell
them just like you told us. Ask both dads to do it. Let them know that
if they don't want to have the honor of walking you down the isle to
give you away and put there feelings aside for not even a day but for
about one minute then you will have your mom do it. Also remind them
that this day is about you not them or there differences. They have one
special thing in common and that is you. You could also have a brother
or an uncle do it as well.

maybe chris should do it

start a new tradition

adj4u,

Please go back a reread my comments! Stop reading between the lines and
applying your own personal experiences.

I suggested that TT use those questions to reflect on HER life and HER
experiences.

It is all about how SHE feels and what she perceives her relationships
to be.

At the risk of sounding cliche'...the world can't be built on good
intentions. As a father, it is an individuals responsibility to be the
best DAD he can be! Focuse on your child and you can't go wrong...give
them what THEY need, don't play "Santa Claus"...Be a true hero to your
child...and love them "unconditionally" always.

A "DAD" will move heaven and earth to champion his/her child!

it kinda sounds like you want both of them to do it, tell them both
thats what you want and if they both don't agree to it you'll walk it
alone, putting your mothiner in the middle might start more trouble

WOW, now I am in a pickle. I really dont know what to do!

Everyone I love the advice youre giving me... a few really struck a
nerve too.

My mom has always been the one there for me forever. She was the one who
taught me most of my morals, lifes lessons, and how to be a smart
a$$...LOL.

But my step dad, since coming into my life has taught me alot too. Such
as how to first drive a tractor, fire a gun, hunt & fish, how to drive.
He is the type of man that doesnt say "I love you" but you can tell he
does through his rough exterior. Since having my son, my step dad has
honestly become the worlds best granpa (in my eyes)...it really
surprized me to see a grown man roll around on the floor playing with
him (bad knees/back dont matter) and it has really brought us closer.

My dad...well, this is hard to say....wasnt a good man when I was
growing up. He was an alcoholic, and an angry controlling man. He used
to swear at my mom and I, come home drunk and beat up my mom or me.
Since the divorce he has totally changed. He doesnt drink, doesnt
smoke, goes to church every sunday. He has tried being more "in-touch"
now, but I don't feel very "close" to my dad because of what I remember
in the past. But I do feel obligated to have him involved with the
wedding. After all its been almost 20 years since he "changed" and he
seems to be trying.