D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full
hours.

E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding
you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till
they
moved out.


ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to two days

P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed
before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence,
and
prevents conception.

D U M B E R O L
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting
in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks

F L I P I T O R
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and
the urge to flip off other drivers.

M E N I C I L L I N
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such
lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person

BUYAGRA
Injectible stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency,
duration, and credit limit of spending spree.


J A C K A S S P I R I N
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager
to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him.

i must have been takin a lot of that dumberol cus i looove country music
and pick up trucks.

im with heatherrae. i must live on the stuff - and i love my life. i
will however like the boob bigger medicine. (peptobimbo) haha

i guess you like to get the "combined"
mind numbing effect - and the UpLifting
experience!

Don't forget to check out the Wet-T contest
this weekend. The pope is stockpiling
Heineys - say the truck unloading kegs and
cases this afternoon.....

i can totally do wet t shirt with these things.

I like the first one the best.

:laugh
I love it.