Consider yourself wildly in love with a woman. Then think of me as your best friend. We've been through it all together & have been friends for years. Maybe even grew up together. If I came & told you she was cheating, etc. Who are you going to believe? Me or your "honey"? Nine chances out of ten you'd think after all we'd been through that I was in love with you & was just jealous of your GF. Now, give it some real though before answering.

Now, in her situation most likely the friend will think the OP wants to steal her man. After a big argument & terrible things said. Their friendship may never be the same again. I think the GF needs to find out for herself & the OP needs to remain silent. JMHO

well he's been lying to her the whole time, telling her to wait for him and hold on, he doesn't want to be with her, etc etc etc. My friend fell for it.

thats ridiculous sorry. In no way am I am fighting with my friend about it, and in no way would I ever want that man. My friend knows that. She's been my friend for 22 years.

I think it depends on how believable and accurate your testimony is. Something this serious I would expect nothing less.

Sooo, if your husband is cheating on you and someone knows and didn't tell you but could have... it's ok for them to say, sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't want to be nosey? Oh by the way, how's the STD treating you that your husband gave you?

It doesn't matter. Friends come and go. Good friends have your back.

Like I said, she's been my friend for 22 years. Never once have we fought over a man. I always have her back. The only time we fight lately is over his stupid lies and the fact that she falls for them because she's still in love with him. He's a very good manipulator and makes her feel horribly guilty all the time.

That person would cease being my friend and I would consider them a back-stabbing co-conspirator to the cheating party. End of friendship, even if it was 22 years. Buh-bye!

you can be supportive and wait it out she will waste her time and emotions but one day she will realize it's not worth it

I guess I'm different than most folks. I prefer to stay out of other peoples affairs. Guess I'm meddling now by even posting. So, OP do whatever you want. You asked I replied. Take my advice or leave it. Up to you.

How would I be a back stabbing co-conspirator if I told his wife that her husband is cheating on her? It wouldn't betray my friend, she is done with him. FINALLY.

I appreciate advice, that's why I asked. I'm really not totally sure what to do. That's why I thought I would get other people's opinions. I think it's a very serious matter, we're talking about someone's marriage here. I want to be sure, whether I decide to tell her or not, that it's the right decision.

You wouldn't if you told her, but you would if you didn't tell her(and you knew). That is what I meant. Sorry about the confusion.

oooh ok. Well just to be clear, I do not know the wife in this situation. We have never met or even spoken. It's my friend that her husband has been cheating with.

Jill, I am dead serious. Take it from someone like me who has been cheated on bad in a former serious relationship. You would be wise to tell your friend, she should know the truth if she's had the wool pulled over her eyes. It's not fair or right to keep this information from her.

oops. I'm stoned and read it wrong. My bad.....

No, you didn't read it wrong. The OP posted one thing then now the whole entire story is totally opposite. Just as I figured it'd be. Now, I'm going to go mind my own business & leave this thread before I get in trouble.

But the wife is not my friend... so here lies my issue. Do I tell some woman I have never met that her husband is cheating on her?

Then, let me get this straight, your "friend" is the concubine that married man Joe is having an affair with. It seems that your friend knows all about this, the marriage and all. I would tell the wife first and then tell your friend she needs to drop him like a sack of mud or risk jeopardizing your friendship with her, the fact that she's doing this seems to show me that she is very capable of betrayal and deceit, something you probably don't want in a friendship. I know I wouldn't.

how in the world did I change my story???