Ok, sometimes its easier to accpet advice from people who don't know you
so here it is: I'm single. But I'm definitely a dime. There's not really
much about me a man wouldn't be looking for, but it's not the case vice
versa. I tend to stop liking a guy after a while. The longest
relationship-- my first relaitonship-- was 4 years, but since we broke
up the longest I can stand to be with someone is 4 months, MAYBE!
Something about them starts to annoy me, or I'm already getting bored
looking elsewhere. Am I just detsined to be single? I don't wanna break
any more hearts, but I can't help my heart won't fall... right?

i don't think you should worry bout it monique. i am the same way. i had
never had a real relationship before my last one because i would get
bored with the person(they weren't bad people). friends was still
alright but as far as any kind of relationship was concerned, it would
have been out of the question because i don't think that i could have
given them the attention that they would have deserved. i eventually
found a girl that i was completely interested in and it lasted 6 years
before it ended. you just have to hang in there and keep looking for the
one that makes you happy, good luck

How old are you? 27?

If you are getting bored, is it because you are hoping to find something
better around the corner? Sometimes what you could be happy with is
right in front of you, but you are afraid of missing out on "THE ONE".
The One may be out there and when you do find him, you may not give him
a chance. Also; are you communicating with your significant other? Tell
the guy you are with your expectations and what you want or what keeps
you interested. Keep it fun and exciting and maybe a little
spontaneous...Relationships take work, but the results are well worth
it!

I still talk to my -ex. We're civil now; at first it was very hostile
because I was hurt, he was hurt, but it just wouldn't work out. We got
so busy, and eventually drew farther and farther apart. Now, I don't
know if I pull away to protect my heart or if I really just want and
expect better

Hi monique,I'm going through a beakup and a divorce-and believe me it
hurts like mad/the girl I dated after my wife and I split up changed her
mind about me after 4 months/she was unable to let her husband go/they
talked and talked etc etc and eventually reconciled their
differences/could it be that you'll always have feelings for the man you
lasted so long with?


JTWhite

You know what Monique, this is what I think and I might be wrong but,
I'll give it a shot. Your first relationship was a long time and I'm
guessing there was a lot of love involved but, the others don't match
up. You still, emotionally, have some sort of attachment to your ex of
4 years and are still dwelling over the good feelings of the
relationship which are ALWAYS hard to let go...trust me....you're not
alone. You are comparing your new finds to the one that is lost. You
look for quirks in them on purpose because you still have that hold on
your past you can't let go. You keep trying to look because you want to
find a guy who has all the GOOD qualities your ex had....that you fell
in love with....and want the other guys you see....to have the same good
qualities you loved that your ex had. Does that make any sense at all?
lol. I don't know if it did or not but, I gave it a shot. I hope
things work out for you because I was in a relationship with a girl...my
first love....and you know what, that was 12 years ago. I'm 30 years
old now and I STILL love her, even though she dumped me in a hotel room
in Chicago but, none-the-less....I still love her. After that
relationship was over.....I have had nothing but, BAD LUCK in
relationships. Trust me Monique.....I know how you feel...been
there...and sometimes.....I think I still am. Best of luck to you and
all I can say is....don't give up. Get to know someone, hang out with
them to see who they are first....so you don't really get involved and
you won't have to worry about breaking any hearts because you are just
being friends and hanging out. I guess that's a good way to start.
That is, if that's what you're doing now then I appologize for
suggesting something...you are already doing. I hope I was some help.
I guess that's all I have to offer.

good advice i have one for you im getting out of a marrage we were
2gether for 10 yrs im 31 3 kids i fell like i cant let anyone inside
again and i fell im to old to start over how do you no if thats just the
hurt talking or if im right who wants all that baggage?

I am 36 with 2 teens and I was married for 10 years, Let go of thepast
and move forward, To many people sit on the ptty pot and miss out on
life, He is gone move on as we all deserve to be happy, as far as
baggage EVERYONE has some or they have not tasted life. Work on yourself
and dont worry about getting involved yet, I waited a year and a half
before I stated dating. I am glad I did as I am in a much healither
place to have a healthy relationship. Dont rush it will come.

i tell myself the same thing but once im felling ok here he comes he
doesnt want to face the fact he fucked up not me he doesnt want to let
me go tryes to give me the guilty trip but he was the one that cheated
and got another girl preg. is it wrong of me not to 4give i cnt do the
whole baby mama drama

Move on he isnt worth it at all, He knows how to get to your heart
strings so he can try to come back, Be strong not only for you but the
kids.

o ya i been strong for almost a year now the felling of tired of going
to bed by myself is getting to me but no way in hell will i take him
back he turned me into one rude bitch to him and his family

My longest relationship was 8 yrs and he fathered 2 kids. We broke up, I
walked out for reasons I don't really care to explain right now but it
was over. We are the best of friends right now though. Anyway, although
I loved with him with everything I had and fought to keep us strong and
alive, it just wasn't enough. I found someone else and dated him for 10
months. Big mistake and I sincerely regret it. Anyway, ended that and
met someone else who I was involved with for a little over a year. Just
too young and immateur or sometimes I think it's because I'm looking for
something and just can't seem to find it with the guys I had after my 8
yr'er. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Whoever said
that obviously hasn't been there. It may seem that way at first but it
isn't in the long run. I found passion and all those wonderful feelings
I was missing but when you think about it and put all your heart into
it, it just isn't enough. I did the comparing and that only gets you
into trouble so.....there are no 2 alike. I've learned that. This is
where I'm at right now....the one I love and want to be with I don't
have a future with and the one I have a future with I am not in love
with so there I am. Stuck! I get bored very easily too and I do not
enjoy breaking hearts because all I want is to love and be loved. Just
having trouble finding "the one".
Hang in there.

Let him without is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone
at her.

Do you see this woman? You gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet
My feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair. You gave Me no
kiss, but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My feet.
You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed My feet with
perfume. For this reason I say to you, her sins, which are many, have
been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is forgiven little, loved
little.

Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe
that you have received it, and they shall be granted to you. And
whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against
anyone; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your
transgressions.

For if you forgive men their transgressions, your heavenly Father will
also forgive you; but if you do not forgive men, then your Father will
not forgive your transgressions.

It is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are
sick. But go and learn what this means, I desire compassion and not
sacrifice, for I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.

If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if
he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times
saying ‘I repent’, forgive him.

So also my heavenly Father will do to you if you do not forgive your
brother from your heart.

thanks hazeleyedbeauty how long did it take you bsfor becoming
friends?when we c each oyher we just fight it gets old im 2 tired 2 keep
on but i do for my babies

well again u need to move forward.. hearts dont heal easy ..and every
little thing stirs up memorys. If I can suggest reading material THE
GRIEF RECOVERY HANDBOOK by JOHN W JAMES.. ive been reading it when ever
i have time when my 3 yr old isnt runnin around like the energizer
bunny. I'm new at this too.. 14 years and she left..lotsa head games i
could fill 5 pages with the story but hey we all got our own problems
and this sint the place.maybe i'll do a seperate post for it.. anyway..
Im still readding and not to far in but basicly its time.. How much
depends on you.. Minutes .Days. Years.. all depends.. but first thing is
dont rush it.2nd when your readdy make sure your readdy..if your not
dont move forward.. Just get the book lol .. Library may have it .. I
live in a small town of 900 and this one did.. if not they can order
it..Like i said im not far in but its making sence..Its not easy..I
havent even tried dating yet.. So no clue how that will go..But im a
lover so If anyone gets hurt it'll be me and well thats better then the
other person .. I need to keep readding so I dont gt hurt eather LOL
goodluck

b_solomon,

It didn't take us very long. It was hard for a little while because I
was involved with someone he didn't care too much for and so that made
it hard to talk to one another but like you said, we did because of the
kids. We never fought really, just bickered back and forth all the time.
But we are good now.

i dont think we could ever be friend i told him we need to get help on
becoming friends for our children but he uses them as an excuse to get
to me.I havent and wont let him take my kids anywere cuz im not ready
for another girl in there lives yet there to young and realy not
understanding whats going on that will just confuse them more 2 c there
day with a whole other family..I guess time will heal just wish it would
happen all ready

i dont think we could ever be friend i told him we need to get help on
becoming friends for our children but he uses them as an excuse to get
to me.I havent and wont let him take my kids anywere cuz im not ready
for another girl in there lives yet there to young and realy not
understanding whats going on that will just confuse them more 2 c there
day with a whole other family..I guess time will heal just wish it would
happen all ready

Hey are we suppost to be finding Jesus or something? Is he lost?