He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.

hard tellin not knowin

If you want to be heard.... Speak up

If you want to be seen..... Stand up

If you want to be appreciated....... Shut the F@ck up!

BYTEME

A bird in hand is worth 2 in the bush.....

....but a bird in the bush is better than ANYTHING you can do by hand

Don't poke yourself in the eye with a sharp stick.

Homelier than a mud fence.

It's not that I eat too much, I just don't crap enough.

Blow me up just to let me down!!!

Gayer than a peach orchard boar shi++in in tall clover

You can execute a move badly but it all matters if you can stick the dismount! (very archaic unless you get the gymnastics reference)

It also can go like this,


The road may have many potholes in it but as long as you make it where you are going then all is well.


You can't dance with your shoes laced to tightly. I believe that actually was a Russian saying.

There's a sucker born every minuet. PT Barnum.

If wishes were fishes I would learn to play the castanets. Firesign Theater

Don't do the drugs if the drugs do you! Street Stoner logic.

Good sex is like a Chinese dinner. If both of you don't get your cookies the meal isn't complete.

He is as gay as a sunny day in May!


Had to throw that one in...

"Abyssmally Abyssmal" Heard that one today in the Denver Post about how the Nuggets played against the Jazz last night.

We'll fly that hawk when his pinions have grown.
(Marriam Zimmerman Bradly--Darkover series)

anyone know what a pinion is?




Government philosophy: If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.


"Good enough for government work"--any government worker

I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees.


If we don't hang together, we shall surely hang seperatly.
(reportedly by Ben Franklin)

I'd rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I am not.

I'm crazier than a dog in a hub cap factory.

There are tons of sayings I adore but as far as "odd", that is to say, those I don't understand at all, this has to be the topper...

Like coyotes on carcass, you tear me up.

What does that even mean?

My eyes, my eyes !!!

Abyss, oh, Abyss ... The I Ching

Tell them lies and feed them candy ... Olde Eire~ish