Topic: The true gentlemen, myth, legend, or just misunderstood?
sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 06:55 AM
Ladies and gentlemen, if such things truly exist, the jury is out, the decision made. We the people, after much discussion and reflection of honest debate have come to believe that the gentlemen is dead. I guess he was kind of like Santa clause. If enough people believed in him the gentlemen and the nice guy thrived and grew. But in today's world, sadly, not enough people believe that he exists and many don't really like having him around at all. Ladies can open their own doors and buy their own dinners, and generally have no need of a what used to be considered a good man. and so the legend dies.
I cry for this because I see that with the passing of this icon, our already eroding culture dissolves just a little more. My father taught me how to treat a lady, but now I look around me and I see that all my fathers teachings have turned to dust. The cynical nature of the populous in general today just dosent leave room for the old ways of love, passion, kindness and compassion. Today we are crude, vile, and just plane nasty.
In all this ranting I would like to ask all of you one simple question.... If the gentlemen is dead where does that leave the ladies, or are they too gone. And if so where does the blame lie. Did the loss of the gentlemen preclude the loss of the lady or vice versa?

Etrain's photo
Tue 04/13/10 07:48 AM
The gentleman/ nice guy isn't dead...there are still many women out there that enjoy having the door open for them and getting there dinners paid for. Hell, I'm even a gentleman sometimes. I took a chick to Red Lobster once...even opened the door for herbigsmile bigsmile bigsmile

sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 10:35 AM

The gentleman/ nice guy isn't dead...there are still many women out there that enjoy having the door open for them and getting there dinners paid for. Hell, I'm even a gentleman sometimes. I took a chick to Red Lobster once...even opened the door for herbigsmile bigsmile bigsmile

Go you. Guess I just need to take notes from the guys here. You all seem to be doing so very well. Think Id rather just be considered soft. Try me.

misstina2's photo
Tue 04/13/10 11:13 AM
flowerforyou I bet there are women that have never had a guy open the door for themflowerforyou

bsdetector's photo
Tue 04/13/10 11:26 AM
Pfffffffft.... Do you know people were asking the very same questions back in the Middle Ages? That is where and why the Arthurian legend springs up and why jousting and knightly values became all the rage. Ahhh yes, the civilized days.

You speak of these things as if they actually existed. They've always been a myth. They're essentially a construct for those that do not like what they see in the present.

There are schitts and decent people all through the ages. Good values, compassion, and decency haver not died, they've just NEVER been prevalent.

Gossipmpm's photo
Tue 04/13/10 11:39 AM
There are a lot of wonderful men out there

and sure there are those abusive ones

but

abuse comes in many diff forms

I'm finding most men I encounter are truly wonderful- caring-funny

ummmmm...."nice men!"

I don't do to much whining-I'm not bitter-

cause I'm really meeting good ones!!!:heart:

Ladylid2012's photo
Tue 04/13/10 11:43 AM
Yes, agreed. There are many wonderful men. Every one doesn't have to be my match...so many little fators are in play when seeking compatiable partners. Just because they are'nt my match doesn't make them less wonderful, less of a gentleman, less of a nice person.
As well, there are many woderful women..
Chivary is not dead!

sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 11:57 AM

Pfffffffft.... Do you know people were asking the very same questions back in the Middle Ages? That is where and why the Arthurian legend springs up and why jousting and knightly values became all the rage. Ahhh yes, the civilized days.

You speak of these things as if they actually existed. They've always been a myth. They're essentially a construct for those that do not like what they see in the present.

There are schitts and decent people all through the ages. Good values, compassion, and decency haver not died, they've just NEVER been prevalent.

Wow that was profound. You actually just altered my way of thinking. No sarcasm intended. Thank you for an outside perspective.

newarkjw's photo
Tue 04/13/10 12:08 PM


Pfffffffft.... Do you know people were asking the very same questions back in the Middle Ages? That is where and why the Arthurian legend springs up and why jousting and knightly values became all the rage. Ahhh yes, the civilized days.

You speak of these things as if they actually existed. They've always been a myth. They're essentially a construct for those that do not like what they see in the present.

There are schitts and decent people all through the ages. Good values, compassion, and decency haver not died, they've just NEVER been prevalent.

Wow that was profound. You actually just altered my way of thinking. No sarcasm intended. Thank you for an outside perspective.


He does that alot. He is a smart fella........smokin

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 04/13/10 12:13 PM
there is nothing wrong with a gentleman. I think everyone should treat others with the respect deserved. But I don't need someone to open doors for me (my arms and hands aren't broken) and I never thought a guy should pay for every date either. The thought is nice but not needed

Gossipmpm's photo
Tue 04/13/10 12:15 PM
Yea that's true

times change. Some things just change with it

I've held doors open for many men just out of thoughtfulness

I've paid for dates also

it's 2010

please let's not regress....:heart:


sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 03:51 PM

Yea that's true

times change. Some things just change with it

I've held doors open for many men just out of thoughtfulness

I've paid for dates also

it's 2010

please let's not regress....:heart:



I agree, forward it the only motion acceptable in today's day and age, but don't any of you ladies ever wish you could find a jewel of a man and train him right? Seriously, some of us are willing. Not weak, just willing to learn what it takes to really make a woman feel wanted, needed and loved. BIG SURPRISE we really don't know.

Gossipmpm's photo
Tue 04/13/10 03:59 PM
Train him!!!??

Sure

if I was a Dominatrix!!

I let a man be who he is. If he has that personality that turns me on
I do not wanna change him!

that's why men and women come in millions of diff styles

we pick the style that's right for us!!:heart:

sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 04:00 PM

Train him!!!??

Sure

if I was a Dominatrix!!

I let a man be who he is. If he has that personality that turns me on
I do not wanna change him!

that's why men and women come in millions of diff styles

we pick the style that's right for us!!:heart:


A woman who truly is not interested in training a man... What a novelty...

zanne46's photo
Tue 04/13/10 04:05 PM
I don't want to train or teach no more men....

Been there done that..

I had 2 sons....to train and teach, teach and train,mentor...

At my age..if a man hasn't gotten it by now....

Forever let me live in peace...even alone in my rocker...flowers

sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 04:08 PM

I don't want to train or teach no more men....

Been there done that..

I had 2 sons....to train and teach, teach and train,mentor...

At my age..if a man hasn't gotten it by now....

Forever let me live in peace...even alone in my rocker...flowers

Ok I truly hope you find what you want and need. Someone as cynical as you are has surely been through alot and deserves happiness.

zanne46's photo
Tue 04/13/10 05:54 PM


I don't want to train or teach no more men....

Been there done that..

I had 2 sons....to train and teach, teach and train,mentor...

At my age..if a man hasn't gotten it by now....

Forever let me live in peace...even alone in my rocker...flowers

Ok I truly hope you find what you want and need. Someone as cynical as you are has surely been through alot and deserves happiness.


Actually not cynical....

With all I have done in my life...I chose the humanitarian way....be nice to all.....the ones who use u as a doormat...I delte...toxic...I don't need them in my life...

My son said to me when he was about 12....

Mom....you are the rock and glue to the family....

And you always fix things for everyone....

Well try driving a car and figure out what to say while your head is spinning around..lol

I told him..I agree and I am happy you see that I am the rock and glue..I hope you follow my path....

Then I told him..I don't fix things for everyone..what I do, do is find resources for what ever ppl need...it's all a matter of if they grab for them or not....

I will admit...my son is very upset with me...he remembers this..he remembers his life with me...But I fell.....due to a heart wrenching fear....that he didn't expect....my fear for my sons life in a war zone...

I have been working diligently on me....for me, for him,and my other son....to get back to who I was and who they know....what ever..

Point..I don't have energy to be a trainer or teacher to another adault.....

my mouth is dry and I'm not even talking..lmao...

I'll be back later when I can articulate my drop dead point....

even with BAD SPELLING....spell checkkkk is for the weak and worried .......ugggggggggggg

sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 05:59 PM



I don't want to train or teach no more men....

Been there done that..

I had 2 sons....to train and teach, teach and train,mentor...

At my age..if a man hasn't gotten it by now....

Forever let me live in peace...even alone in my rocker...flowers

Ok I truly hope you find what you want and need. Someone as cynical as you are has surely been through alot and deserves happiness.


Actually not cynical....

With all I have done in my life...I chose the humanitarian way....be nice to all.....the ones who use u as a doormat...I delte...toxic...I don't need them in my life...

My son said to me when he was about 12....

Mom....you are the rock and glue to the family....

And you always fix things for everyone....

Well try driving a car and figure out what to say while your head is spinning around..lol

I told him..I agree and I am happy you see that I am the rock and glue..I hope you follow my path....

Then I told him..I don't fix things for everyone..what I do, do is find resources for what ever ppl need...it's all a matter of if they grab for them or not....

I will admit...my son is very upset with me...he remembers this..he remembers his life with me...But I fell.....due to a heart wrenching fear....that he didn't expect....my fear for my sons life in a war zone...

I have been working diligently on me....for me, for him,and my other son....to get back to who I was and who they know....what ever..

Point..I don't have energy to be a trainer or teacher to another adault.....

my mouth is dry and I'm not even talking..lmao...

I'll be back later when I can articulate my drop dead point....

even with BAD SPELLING....spell checkkkk is for the weak and worried .......ugggggggggggg


You seem like a lady with alot of wisdom to speak. I would very much like to hear more from you.

piejammer's photo
Tue 04/13/10 06:29 PM
Edited by piejammer on Tue 04/13/10 06:30 PM
Chivalry is not dead, it's just had the crap beat out of it.

Word of advice. The ol' I'm a nice guy/gentleman routine puts up red flags in most ladies' minds.
You(not you specifically) either come off as desperate or a BSer.
A woman will know a nice guy/gentleman by the way he speaks and comports himself around her.

sekinwisdom's photo
Tue 04/13/10 06:32 PM

Chivalry is not dead, it's just had the crap beat out of it.

Word of advice. The ol' I'm a nice guy/gentleman routine puts up red flags in most ladies' minds.
You(not you specifically) either come off as desperate or a BSer.
A woman will know a nice guy/gentleman by the way he speaks and comports himself around her.


I agree wholeheartedly! But since I am not around any of these ladies, all I can do to comport myself in the appropriate manner is to speak my mind, and hope someone out there care see me.