In india,most of the people gets marry through arrange marraige concept.girls wed those guy who is selected by parents.but but,proportion of divorce is literally 1000:26...is it not a strange?....parents lives with son under 1 roof till end of their life..can I say,indians r having more emotional bonding with parents?..
I had been here for last three months.I found,most of the females r fustrated after 38,when their children gets individual&they looks for support of anyother male.is it happening because the high divorce proportion?...
Well,iam not crtisizing americans and europeons.these countries r developed.definately advance than india.but now india is also becoming power and developing.1 more point I wanna indicate.in india also where the extra advance class people stays,the proportion of divorce and keeping parents in old age homes,is increasing.can I say,extra satisfaction in every need makes human more ethicless?....do we have need to study indian culture properly?where they r second largest in population,but divorce proportion is minor?....
u r all my friends.definately u will laugh.cause u can't think about this even.like...without knowing each other to be get married,by keeping trust on parents choice.keep or stay with the parents under one roof till last..is there any need to study indian culture properly?...yes or no

I believe there is a need to study indian culture...think I'll start by heading to to get some Indian cuisine...mmmmm Tandoori chicken

No way Jose!!!!

I respect the culture of India

But...

I like going to the biker bars and picking my own!!!

Thank you very much!!!

Even in the indian families i see here its more like a team effort on the finacial side .. and there is obviously advantages to using such a strategy it seems buisness ownership is more common... Although the general public obviously cant be applied to all..

I am from a HUGE and very close family where i can only think of one divorce ever and between my father grandfather eldest brother and me we have 4 companies that all do buisness with eachother and hire family and family friennds as employees...

it seems most indian families are very traditional im sure its taboo to divorce.. but human nature still exists in all of us so cheating discreetly might be Common ? looked down upon im sure but my questionn is ... is Cheating discreetly less taboo than diivorce??

As far as the young women looking to be taken care of by another man as soon as they are indipendant. i think thats a seperate issue in indian culture there is a Duty and expectation to remain as one and participate in the family identity.. and as a coherent unit that brings strength.. in america There is an expectation taught that you should go out into the world ALONE and learn to stand on your own.. Any girl that just wants Some man to begin taking care of her is a gold digger (bad) and any man thats taken in by such a worthless woman is also a fool.. I and many others want a woman that can stand on her own is intelligent and successful..

your family will allways be there just a call away if you really need help but you must learn to be independant and discover your identity outside the familys identity .. and explore the woorld yourself.. once youve found yourself and a woman worth bringing into your family the two families become one .. and while they dont live together.. it does not make us less close Almost all of my family lives in the same City and relies on eachother greatly in our buisnness and spiritual lives...

It is a pity that Honor is failing in our society .. a MAN or a WOMAN that stands before their God and their Family and friends and swears till death do us part.. is bound by their honor and word.. This is why i will never be divorced .. I WILL find her .. the right one.. ive been criticized by religious folk for having a child out of wedlock.. then come to find out there on marraige # 2 .3 whatever I have NEVER broken an oath to my god and obviously they have
sorry so long (i talk alot)

As an american_indian i have learned the best of both worlds. i believe we should study the better parts of the culture, as in the family oriented part. But i love western society's belief in fostering independence in their youth and allowing them to become individuals and not a forced image of what their parents want. I hate arranged marriage i dont believe it works, it is a compromise essentially. You need someone to marry ok here u go this family makes good money and are respected in society so go move in their home and have fun. I love that i have the freedom to chose who i wish to spend my life with and still i am close with my mother. Indian society as much of the east in my opinion is out dated and that may sound as if i condemning them but im not all i wish to point out is that it's based on tradition, and tradition doesn't always change with the times at it should. In the west women are given somewhat the status of men ( it's suppose to be equal but let's be real it's still a male dominated society) but in the east in many cultures women are still viewed as objects. This is not the case in all areas but it still exists, and if the women don't have much freedoms and in many cases are uneducated why would they divorce the family who is feeding and sheltering them and their children? however in the west women and men seek what they consider true love and this i something they believe to be worth fighting for so as expected you're not going to find ur sole mate immediately and this leads to divorce. Indian society doesn't take in marriage lightly and that is different in the west, yes marriage is a big step but it's a step to understand your loveer and if doesnt work out you dont have to feel as though ur forever trapped.


to sum up my long *** speech, yes we should study indias culture but at the same time we must realize that both cultures have major flaws and we must learn to make the best of both worlds!

i think im really lucky becuase i have a good relationship with my mom (not my fam per say) but i've learned how to think about what i want and not so much what my parents want for me, yes their desires do affect my decision but ultimately it is my life and thats what matters and ifeel like indian culture is the exact opposite it is still based on family honor and what others think of you and that shouldn't matter! which is how arranged marriages began because how bad does your family look if your son or daughter married someone beneath you it's a shame on your honor. i have so much to say because this is an amazing topic one which i've had one many t imes but ill save it for later lol

thandori chicken is the ****! try some bryani, some chicken mhakani and some somas you'll lvoe it haha

India is not one culture but about six or seven. Arranged marriage is nothing new. It happens in Asian cultures as well as some South American and even in America in some of our sub cultures like the Mormons (Don't argue with me on that one! I have seen that one first hand more than once!) Arranged marriages are more for the benefit of the family more than it is for the happiness of the children being forced to marry. Arranged marriages are for prosperity and gaining one or both families social advancement especially in India where the caste system is still practiced. In many ways India is still behind the times and this is showing with an insane divorce rate, high AIDS infection rates, and the way people treat each other there in general. Once an untouchable forever an untouchable. That is why many Indians come here because an untouchable can become more than an untouchable. Likewise there is an cultural arrogance because of hundreds of years of foreign occupation and a strong dependency on tradition which stagnates personal growth. India is a culture of strange paradoxes much like Asians being very complicated yet trying to keep things simple and minimalistic. Hard to imagine. many Americans are seen as uncultured Hill Billys or Six gun toting Cowboys in many nations still. But yet we have been the source of most of the major technological advances we enjoy today. India is now having to face changing to keep up with the rest of the world. Those changes are reflected in traditional values clashing with real world values and is visible through such things as high divorce rates. We have had a similar phenomenon here as well beginning in the 1960's where divorce rates jumped significantly. As an American there are things about Indian culture that rub me wrong like the caste system. Affluent Indians come here and act like i am beneath them but what they don't understand is here people get victimized for thinking like that. Americans get accused of being culturally insensitive yet the same thing happens with arrogant foreign travelers here too. I would never go to India and 'piss on another man's shoes' yet others come here and piss on mine. Just proves that people all over the world are BOOBS!

Nopes,u misunderstood.we r talking about individuality of person.by staying in same shelter with parents,u can't maintain that?iam not talking about the people who r drunkyard and spoiled chaps.iam talking about the person who is welleducated,on good post and salary,who still stays with the parents.trust me,as per the population ratio,old age home concept is almost not there.I stays in bombay(mumbai) where population is almost 2.5 crores.and once again a strange thing.....old age homes are just 20.problems r here also.but but there is ancient cultural system is present to digest and dissolve those issues.
Now let's talk about marraige.arrange marraige concept is based on mutual understanding.parents sees the social,economic,health and personality status of guy.allow them to meet so many times.so they could know eachother more.marraige is a main ocassion in life.so there is a possibility of mess up also.so they do the engagement first.and if all goes well,then within a year they do their marraige.is it bad?

Great posts Andy and SexyIndn.... They ring so true!!! I see that and more daily with my company in India and those we bring here...

On that topic children living as adults is NOTHING new in a lot of cultures.

Traditionally in Japan even adult children would live with parents until they themselves were married but these days that has changed a LOT!

In Mexico children live with the parents until they are married and usually they even have their parents move in when they are elderly. Mexican Social Security!

Oddly in OLD school Hebrew communities children would be wed at 12 and would be provided with a house of their own. That practice ended over a thousand years ago.

In some American households children live with their parents as well. I knew a guy who was 40 and never left home. Most of the time men like that are looked upon as weak because for some strange reason America has degenerated into an 'All for Me and None for anyone society.' People are supposed to be some kind of financially sound pillars of self. it is a cultural thing. That is what you get when money becomes so all important and I am sure India is having that issue raising its ugly head now and then. It will get worst as cultural values begin to fall apart.

One thing I liked about India is the colorful clothing. I love wearing loud colors but they are joyful colors as well. I can appreciate very loose fitting cloths. Love Indian cuisine myself and there is more to life than Tandoori, Mattika, and Pan! I'm not much of a vegetarian though.

Now back to the issue.

In many European cultures like Spain and Italy, Romania, Albania, etc. children live with their parents until married and in some cases will stay behind to take care of their parents when they are elderly.

In others like Germany and France the children are taught to achieve and often are sent off to schools (or trade tech) but even there some children live with their parents as adults.

That does happen here in America as well but not as often as in other countries. I think what caused the idea of children staying behind to take care of the parents began to fall apart with American "Social (IN)Security," where people became deluded with the idea that the government was there to take care of them in their old age. With the current economy the reality of it is that the erosion of traditional and classic family values has been building to a eventual social apocalypse that will lead to a change of values both personal and social that will be a result of a need to survive.

American social values back in the 1950's (racism and racist policies aside) had cultural values that paralleled India's in different cultural ways. Now? Oil and water in many many ways like religion and entertainment but in a lot of ways we are just the same my friend!

Is that better?

Everyone brings up very good points, the cast system does affect how people are raised therefore affecting how people think. Yes i know the culture is different all over india but generally they are the same,and the general consensus is that arranged marriages are better because "children" are to young and unwise to make the decision about a suitor along. In my opinion when a person is responsible and ready to find that special someone they should do so on their own because it is natural to behave differently around the entire prospective in-law family. Hypothetically let's say all arranged marriages work perfectly, but living with your parents does affect the nuclear family structure. AS an indian man you know what goes on in the traditional family life, aka roof.Im not saying that its impossible for it to work but it does tend to a create hostile living situation. Many generations under one roof does create some hostility; all my aunts and uncles have arranged marriages and my uncle and his wife and hteir kids lived with my g-rents and there was a lot of conflict between the generations when it came to traditional values. My aunts however were in-lawless in the sense that their inlaws are in india so they have what i consider a nuclear family and theres a lot less tension. from what i've seen vwhen you are free to live your lives as ur own family, it doesn't drive you away from your parents it just allows you do what you feel is right as an adult. Being an adult is one of my main points, you can't fully be an adult and live with your parents because to ur rents you're always their child. People need to experience life and learn who they are and you cant do that from your house and you can learn about married life under your parents roof, because in indian society if your marriage doesn't match the social norms ,idol gossip begins and there en lies the drama which will begin among the generations.


you cant trust your parents to make decisions foryou because thats what children do haha i dont meant so rude it's just my opinion and i believe you can maintain the closeness with your family without living with them, and gain a sense of independence as well

... People, can't you break up the text!?

That run on forever w/out space REALLY hurts the eyes ...

Make it visually available, please ...

How do I get on the list for an "arranged" marriage?

Do I need a tan first?

basically what im saying is that i don't think it's healthy for and individual to live with his parents, your 40 year old friend should prob move out and get a job and a place of his own. Personally my parents can live with me, i cant live with them and there is a diff. in one scenario in one i support them which a child should do (after all they did wipe your ***) and in the second your parents take of you.



AS it pertains to the other cultures that ur talking about it doesn't pertain here because not all of those cultures practice arranged marriages and they all have diff roles (ie gender, and family). YOu must understand that all asian cultures are similar and very unique at the same time, gender, family, age, etc... play a very diff role in diff parts of the world, just because there are similarities doesn't mean they can be lumped together

Good poing AND the fact that what works in one part of the world may not work in another... I know plenty of India people that 1) didn't want arranged and still went with it b/c their parents would have disowned then and 2) those that have turned down those that their parents found for them... They also get a few choices not just one... I also know a lot of Indian men that can't wait to see who their parents have picked and start their families as their parents desire..... People are individuals no matter where they come from.. Some may want whatever their family wants and some may not... It doesn't matter what it is, marriage, religion, family business, etc. And it doesn't make them wrong or the others wrong...

hahaha no actually being fair skinned is a plus in most parts of india. i dont think you want that type of marriage though it's very risky doing an inter-racial arranged marriage because both parties are expecting somehting diff. not saying there arent good indian guys but u def need to look for yourself lol cuz there are def some pigg headed ******** (that goes for all over the world not just india haha)

Sounds like you have wonderful family.
So I am curious about your moniker..

i agree 100 percent but i do think that by not having hte option of disobeying ur parents going against their wishes you aren't so much an individual but a piece of clay your parents have molded to their desire ?

I was just kidding

Sounds like you have wonderful family.
So I am curious about your moniker..


i love my family to the grave, dont get me wrong there are so many imprefections with my family and i strongly believe had i not been born in america i would not be the strong willed independent person i am today. i may still be very passionate and maybe more respectful towards my elders but i think a part of me that i admire wouldn't be there.

a) what is a moniker haha

b) and i love the fact women are gaining a foot hold in the world, no society can ever succeed with half its population uneducated!


lets give all the women an applause right not for having the right to be on a comp w/o supervision and i hope that all of you can follow your dreams as i am able to follow mine! u deserve it hell u guys go through a lot more than men do! (preg, and aunt flo lol) mad probs for dealing with men for as long as u have!