This is mostly for the guys because I don't think women have much trouble getting dates. What I'm going to talk about is how to compose a good first email to send, the best time of day to send it, and how to get an interesting conversation going and sustain it.

This isn't a trick. It's how to put put your best foot forward within this context. Don't think that doing this will have in box full. It won't. But it can get you a higher reply rate from women. Okay?

What follows is an actual email conversation I had with a young lady on another free dating site. I asked her about posting our conversation and she said she didn't mind. I'll talk about what I'm doing at each step.

Here is my first email to her:



This is fun, playful and different than what the average guy writes. I sent it WHILE SHE WAS ONLINE. That way it's at the top of her in box and she's more likely to read it and reply. Another good time is early on a Saturday or Sunday morning. She'll be just waking up and checking her mail.



See how I've kept it fun and interesting? This is sort of a roll play thing. We're planning this imaginary crime together. It's fun!




Here I've spotted something unique and cool about her and I'm giving her a complement about it. Note it has nothing to do with her looks. I'm getting to know the REAL person she is.





Okay, this is sort of a trick. I admit it. This is cold reading. It's the same thing as horoscopes. What I said is true of most women and many have agreed to this on this forum.



I'm not letting her saying she has a boyfriend slow me down. Maybe she does and maybe she doesn't. But, she is on a dating site and she responding to my mail. Besides there are a lot of women that have over lapping boyfriends. They're with one guy nly until they meet someone they like more.



Again I've pointed out what makes her special and unique and given her a complement on it.



And that's how it's done. This all took place on the same day within a couple of hours. She agreed to meet with me and gave me her phone number. She, by the way was 27 years old and I'm 48. So, it's not about age, looks or money. Al you have to do is be interesting, fun and YOURSELF. So, don't steal this and send it to 500 different women! Come up with something of your own.

I think more people should take your lead and make things a bit more fun. Too many people are way too serious about things. I've never received an email like this on a site like this. Most are either a life story or a "hi, how are you?" type thing.

very entertaining read,but what happens when she meets the next bank robber she likes more?

If she meets someone she likes more than me, good for her! I want her to be happy and I can meet someone else just as easily.

ahhh..so this sentence could be changed to say this as well?

Besides there are a lot of men that have over lapping girlfriends. They're with one girl only until they meet someone they like more.

I'm wondering if anyone else here has tried this type of approach. And if so, did it work well?

I'm sure it could. But, I'm not that way. If I have agreed to be exclusive with someone I never cheat. But, sometimes relationships don't work out. It's no ones fault. That's just how it goes.

But, this thread isn't about relationships. It's about getting a date on web sites like this one. If you like the ideas I've offered feel free to use them. If not forget them. What do you have to lose?

I posted about this once before and said I get better replies with this kind of thing than I do by saying something like "Hi, I really liked your profile and wondered if you'd like to chat sometime."

I've spent a lot of time on these sites over the years and I've tired all kind of crazy things. This is what I've found to get the best reply rates.

i do like your post,dont get me wrong.
in fact,i was rather amused by the bank robber scenario,as i use that one a lot in the live chat rooms.

in the end,it all comes down to being different,standing out,and basically catching someones eye.

hopefully,in a good way..ie,laughter,jokes,etc.

I like that approach and if nothing else she would walk away with a smile!

This doesn't work for most guys on the forum for two reason's.


(1) Most are not looking for a quick fix.


(2) Most are not looking for someone that is long distance. meaning spending all this money for something your not sure of.


If I want a one night stand, I can always go to Vegas. It's like 3 hours from me. Hell, I would be paying less then taking a flite, getting a rental car, paying for the room, paying for her drinks, food and what ever else. All that just for a one night stand, and that is only if your lucky.

I think Vegas sound better

Speaking for myself only, the "I like your profile, do you want to chat?" line gets boring. Most of the time, they can't follow up with something interesting to chat about. They wait for me to choose something. I don't email men and ask them if they want to chat, then wait around for them to start the conversation.

Then again, I always ask what they like about my profile when they say that and most of the time, it turns out they haven't read it.

From what I've seen, many are looking for instant gratification. Getting a date would go right along with that, so I would think this sort of approach would work well if they're able to pull it off.

So how do we get past the fact that almost every girl I look at on here has been inactive for a month or more?

Either that or send them a picture of yourself, shirtless, in front of the bathroom mirror.

Just kidding. TS, it's not much different than what you would do in real life, is it? Women get approached all the time, in bars, with the same old stupid worn-out lines. I imagine they appreciate a little creativity, delivered with an air of confidence.

You made a good point, about commenting on their appearance. If I approach a woman, the last thing I would say is some comment about their looks. The fact that I'm talking to them lets them know I'm attracted to them. It would come across as creepy or weird. If they are good looking, they get a million lude and crude comments about their boobs, butt, eyes, etc., that are often un-wanted. Compliments about their appearance comes after you have gotten to know them.

That's an issue for everyone. Just keep trying, I guess.

So what do you send to women? "Hey babe you are smoking! What say we hook up? My place 7:30 be there." LOL

This kind of silliness is what I've found to get the highest reply rate. But, that's still only about 3 or 4 out of ten messages sent. If you have something better I'd love to read it.

Honestly.. between inactive profiles and not so truthful pics(you know what I mean) I have discounted this site as a dating website and just get on here to meet cool people.

An interesting approach - I like the way you go about it.

I reckon the key to your success was your forcefulness of speech though - you're driving on with you agenda and making only minor adjustments based on what she's said - securing that all-important first meet.

I'm not sure how this'd work re: building a lasting relationship, but it'll certainly get you meeting more girls in person - and I think that's where any real connection will become apparant.

Certainly, I write the 'hey, I saw your profile and would like to get to know you better' messages and I cringe at the cliche, unoriginal nature of it - I guess I'm relying on my profile to sell me more. But then who's going to check out your profile when you're 5th on the list and written just like every other 1/2-assed fist e-mail?

Food for thought, my man, food. for. thought.

I understand what your saying, but not from somone that has somone already.

Yes, the roll playing has worked with me, but as far as distance. It is a problem for most, and that's besides attraction.