picture/profile/religion

ok....I keep seeing this answer (and even said it myself) but how does looking at pictures make someone shallow?

Yeah, that's on about 87% of them -- "The hardest thing in the world is for a person to talk about themselves" -- I wonder what world THAT is....?

It doesn't.

Good question.

Mmmm I feel shallow when I look at someone's picture
and click on through for whatever reasons my eyes make
no connection.
This is so wrong.
Books and their covers.
But there it is.
The good news is, I know it is shallow.
So I compensate by reading the profiles of
everyone who offers what seems to be at
least half a brain, here on the forums :-)
I let their voices speak, not their picture.
Because I am shallow.
I deserve Shallow Hal.

I don't see viewing pictures first is shallow. There needs to be an attraction.

Not sure if you're looking for a serious answer or a fun one but here goes...

It's not the 'looking' part that makes them shallow, it's the reason why they're looking.

In a word, it becomes shallow when it’s superficial. I guess I was lucky and learned my life lesson early on in life. Most people don’t learn until it’s too late and then they end up in divorce. I was fortunate enough to date not one, but two professional models, because you know, looks are “supposed” to be what’s so damn “important” in a mate, or so I was told and thought. I learned the hard way that looks are not so important, at least not in a long term relationship. In both cases while these women were 10 out of 10 in the looks department, they were also very selfish, vain, and petty in the personality department. That’s when I made a vow to myself to never care about a persons looks again and to instead look for a woman with a beautiful heart. All of the really 'hot lookers' that I’ve seen are like Easter bunny candy, you know, looks delicious on the outside …but hollow on the inside. In psychology studies most people who were interested in mainly looks were found to have insecurities about themselves. Now, having said all of this it’s important to also understand that all humans desire being with someone that’s good looking to some degree. It becomes ‘shallow’ when it’s the MAIN reason that you want to be with them, and you don’t consider the substance of who the person really is. I don’t see anything wrong with this if BOTH people are just looking for a short-term relationship. It’s when someone is looking for a long term relationship that shallowness sooner or later always causes a problem. Realistically, eventually everyones looks will fade away, and then what is the relationship going to be based on?

nothing on profile sparks me at all

I don't peek unless they post something funny, ridiculous, witty, smart or dumb on forums

Lex's profile, it is perfect and well detailed. I advise everyone to take a couple of days to read through it, if you read fast you can get through it in a little over a day.

AngelArs,

you are right about not basing it solely on looks, but it is a part of it as well as what's inside

Yes, as I mentioned before all humans (instinctually) desire being with someone that’s good looking - to some degree, BUT there are a lot of people who ONLY base interest in the looks of the person, and that's what's shallow. You are right, when there is balance, then that's normal and fine. However some people just scan through the pics, and based on that they will never be fully happy. That's all I'm trying to say

VERY true....and those I would tell them to look deeper.

I actually like seeing pictures with people in their natural habitat that way I can see what they are like

That is a fallacy propogated by countless legions of homely and @ss ugly journalists who write that tripe for womens magazines. Then the rest of the ugly people jump on that band wagon of "it ain't that I am a genetic disaster, everyone else is shallow because they don't see the beauty beneath the surface"

Thereby, I can legitimately blame ugly people for my shallowness.

I know, my perspective is warped.....but, it is convenient.

Irreverence

don't use dem big werds wit me youngin

I said "fallacy".....not fellatio. Hehehehe. I KNOW you know what THAT means!

KRUPALOPE!!!!!

Reader's Digest has approached me about a Condensed Version. I'm not sure I really want to do that, though, because I'm leery about having something out there that doesn't contain 630 pages about other people's bad profiles.

mention of musical interests(if similar to mine), some mention of a belief in certain gender roles(like opening a door for a lady, or a lady being kind ,,,etc,,)

basically , I am looking for those things that are most compatible with my goals, dreams, and values

yup....