Should a person make a BAD relationship "work" for the sake of children
or familarity?...

When exactly is it time for letting "GO"!

tough question with many factors.



~RUNS OUT THE DOOR~

What age are the children? I was old enough to understand what my mom
was going through and was happy for her that she got divored.

This is a good question... but I don't think you'd ever want to show
your children that 'settling' is ok, right? So no- get out of a bad
relationship, it's better for the children in the long run.

Superstar, it's not me..but a friend of mine. Her children are 9 and
eleven...and she's crying all the time

She asked me that question...I couldn't give her the answer

findme11 that is tough and I hope you find a question.

similar to superstar, my parents waited until i was in the 8th grade to
file for divorce, I was old enough.

it depends on why it is bad

and how long it has been bad

but only those involved can answer that

I can answer this question because I was a child of a family that stuck
together for the children!! My mom and dad had an arrangement to stay
together until my sister turned 18 and then they would go their own
ways. Do you really think the children don't know?
NEVER stay together for the children!! You are teaching your children
how to stay in a marriage that is loveless. Tell your friend that if she
is not IN love, do her children a favor and get out!!!

Thanks unsure...

i think if you are in a relationship and you are not happy you should
call it a day cause if you are not happy you wont live in peace and if
you are not in peace your children will grow up confuse seeing you
fighting at 11 & 7 they are old enough to talk to they will understand
just teach them to love each other and you will be ok.

Children that age need positive role models and influences. If that
means to show mom and dad are happy, in a positive frame apart, let it
be.

No. The time before end of my marriage was the most emotionally
excruciating event I have ever been through in my life. What good was I
to my kids?

ONE word....NO!!!!!!!!

Trust me been there done that with my own parents and all it did is
create a home full of tension and fear...The key word...BAD...If it's
bad for you...It's even worse for your children!!!!!!!

Kids know what is going on, I had a beter relationship with my kids
after I left.

NO

Have a close friend who has pretty much the same story as Native. Can
make for a terribly painful childhood

well....NOT for the sake of the kids, but if the spouses *want* to make
it work and still care for each other MUTUALLY - then get counseling -
and you will get a better idea if it is possible

I was four when my parnts divorced. I didn't understand it at all. I
blamed my mom, my dad, and myself. Any child who's parents have been
divorced , even if they don't express it out loud, will feel responsible
in some way. If ther's a lot of arguing, fighting, insults, or physical
abuse kind of things it would be better for everyone involved(especially
the children) to be out of it. Depending on their age you may be
suprised what your kids have to say about it. Just becareful, don't
make the descision too hastily, but don't spend your time dwelling on
should I or shouldn't I. Depending on the situation.

hope I helped
truly
MSD

My divorce made my relationship work for the sake of the children. I
think my ex and I both think we made the right decision because the
children should come first. I think the right time to let go is when you
both have tried everything and nothing seems to work.

in my opinion it isnt, if i grew up with my father, and witnessed the
way he may have continued to treat my mother, i probably wouldnt love
him as much as i do, and i definately wouldnt view him as a role model,
i would be angry with him and resent him, so maybe seperation is better
for kids who parents dont get along, my dad is my friend and my
confidont, but if i was ever old enough to see him hit my mother, how
confident would i be now?