if they seperate, granted her man has a good heart and head on his
shoulders, her children will be much better off seeing dad at his best
than at home where he is at his worst

When exactly is it time for letting "GO"! ?????

When it seems like there is SURE to be a homicide.

When U are afraid to have sex for fear of a next STD.

When you are tired forcing to embrace.

When you're finished untieing yourselves from the bank commitments.

More to come later.

When it comes a time and you look at your partner and wonder why do you
evne try any more? It's never a good ideal to stay in a marriage for
the children unless the two are actaully civil to each other and really
can handle it have never see two that could do that. The kids are much
better off away from all the stress instead stuck in the middle of it.
At least those are my thoughts. When it comes to the point you look at
them and honestly all you can feel is hate its time to get out and move
on with life.

Commonly known as "FTK"....for the kids...I don't think any child can
rationalize it...I think the parents need to assure the children it has
nothing to do with them, and to also let them know people and
situations change and sometimes we have to move forward in a positive
manner! I know it's a simplistic view...but all things expand from
there!.....I say NO move on!

I am assuming that by the term 'BAD SITUATION' it means that the
person/persons have already reached the conclusion that the relationship
has broken down irretrievably. That they have tried everything possible
and it has now reached here.

then if it wasn't for the children, they would have gone a long time
ago?

Well I was in a situation where I was the one who was giving my female
toddler Church morals amidst television and internet contamination. I
was the one who really used to see that she ate; and try to get her to
eat; and wonder what will she eat today. I was the one who will unstick
myself from the bed when we are going to sleep and she says: "Daddy I am
hungry" She just realized that.

All this time and even BEFORE, her mother is with someone else on the
side and boldfaced with it. Every family party he is invited with rank.
He is the DJ but I am a musician with much more DJ knowledge than him.
She is passing our dwelling straight after work and go by him and coming
with some stupid excuse that she knows I aint believe. That no one will
believe.

When I realized she was pregnant and insistent one, I returned from a
break up, BECAUSE OF THE CHILD, vowing to shut my mouth.

Well I shut my mouth and walked around grieving for about ten years
while she walking around happy. To have sex I had to force to embrace
and get an erection. Until I decided to forget all the bad things and
think only of the good. Force my brain to block out what will interfere
with my drive. For the sake of the child who needed me.

In the Western World, when a break up occurs it is the man who gets
thrown out away from his kids. It is a long story.

The day I decided to talk, I got thrown out, even though my talking was
in defense of the said child from violence coming from the older
siblings that were not mine. And even though the child needed my
continued protection.

I was not allowed to see the child for eight months.

Anyway later there was a reconciliation for the sake of the child and I
did wish I could make it with this pretty woman.
Well she ended like limiting me to friending from afar. She will visit
me with the child from 100 miles away when she and the child is off like
weekends.

Well to cut a long story short, I will fast forward and say that she ups
and tells me one day, that if I go to a wedding in my area that she
promised to accompany me to, as she has changed her mind, she will call
off the relationship. So later out of the blues she tells me as I
visited the child there, she has met someone, so not to come inside
except I want to pee.
All for the sake of the child I took this.

Well somewhere if I rewind, I started to correspond with a foreigner on
the Net .... well that is another story not related to 'for the sake of
the child.

See if you can dedeuce what I am saying untill I return. I have to go
now. I am on the job.

good answer rob

Findme1113,
That is a very good question. Most people will blow it off and give
you a short answer but they haven't been in your position. I have to
tell you though, after living life (you know the part that goes 15 years
old to 50 years old in 2 seconds) with alot more to give, my opinion,
and remember it is only my opinion is that you do what you feel is most
important to your children. You cannot be selfish in that situation as
much as you want to be. Now, with that being said, if you are being
beaten, hit, cuzzed at, etc, get the hell out of there and make sure
your children are in tow. It does matter though on the age of your
children. If they are under 10 and you are not happy, get out.
However, if they are teens, and they have no clue about a possible
divorce, try to hang on until they are out of the house. Not many
people realize that divorce is more difficult for teens that are
unaware. It is the most difficult on them. So, if you run, run when
they are young. If you are getting mistreated, get the heck out of
there! If he is cheating on you because you are not enough, get out of
there! I don't agree with all the counselors saying that men do it
because they can seperate sex and love and women can't. That is what
counselors want us to believe! So, look at your situation and decide
what is best not only for you, but for your loving children. Don't be
greedy unless it is absolutely necessary!
Ed